my 23m boyfriend recently landed his first job, and has a terrible work life—12 hour work shifts, early morning check ins. i get that he barely gets any time anymore. but, i feel like hes pulling away. i want myself to be the comfort he can text and call, but it feels like he barely initiates any contact any more. i dont want to be overbearing and add onto his stresses as well, considering i’m also his first serious girlfriend, and we only started dating 4 months ago.
am i overthinking this? how can i fix this?
tl;dr: boyfriend has new job and doesn’t initiate conversations anymore. how can i fix this?
Comments
As you said he is just started his first job, give him some time, may be he is trying to settle in the new work environment.if this pattern continues and you feel he intentionally avoiding or not taking any initiative to talk then you may think that he is pulling away.
Atleast he has someone that cares and wanna support his long hours. Alot of guys don’t have that
Decide for yourself what you can handle. Does he need to initiate contact once a day? Once a week?
Talk to him and acknowledge he’s in a rough patch with work but he cannot go below your “minimum”, and make it clear that you expect this behavior to be temporary while he adjusts to his new job. If it continues indefinitely you will rethink the relationship.