me (M21) and my girlfriend (F19) who’s diagnosed with BPD has been together for 4 months. we had issues here and there, but we found a way to fix it. she’s not that good with communication so in our relationship im doing my best to guide her with everything. doing my best support her and stuff, im being patient and i really love her.
but earlier she asked me a question, she said.
“what if we already live together but we both lost our jobs and we’re having a hard time to face it. would i let her to be a stripper?”
i answered, no. am i insecure for answering it? or i just love her and as much as possible i want to avoid it if there’s something at risks. even so, if we both lost our jobs most probably i’ve already thought about what could go wrong if we don’t work it out as soon as possible. i told her, i won’t let anyone touch her, disrespect her, disgusting men to lay their eyes at her and worse case, risk her life. she said that it doesn’t mean that she’s going to sleep with other guys. i understand the work of a stripper and it’s not easy. i respect it as much as i respect everyone or every jobs. i don’t judge them for what they are. but, if it’s my girlfriend there’s a risk. and if there is, i want to avoid it. there’s also the dignity there, breaking boundary that could affect our relationship. im not implying that im being controlling or over protective. matter of fact, i told her she could do whatever she wants, be a woman she always wanted to be. live her life and all that. but again, if she’s my girlfriend and there’s something at risk, i’ll avoid it.
she didn’t respond to my answer, i asked her did she get the answer she wanted, but she said she don’t know. and she didn’t even think about it. i don’t want to take her question seriously, but it made me feel something. i don’t know. im just a man who loves my girlfriend so much and i want to take care of her for the rest of my life.
TL;DR
gf asked what if she decided to be a stripper, would I let her? i answered no.
Comments
You’re both making a huge deal out of a non-existent problem. I’m more bothered by the “let her’.
i mean, everyone has their boundaries. if my partner wanted to be a stripper/dancer/entertainer, even if there isnt any touching, i would be uncomfortable too. i just think this is too small of something that you shouldnt overthink too much. she gave you a worst-case scenario and as long as yall are both doing well that she wouldnt consider it. but if you are concerned, just talk to her! it doesnt really seem like shes actively wanting to pursue doing it, so i wouldnt sweat it too much