I (20F) share a small 2BHK with my roommate (also 20F) near our college and bro we agreed from the start: no live-in partners, guests max 2–3 nights a week butt ever since she started dating this guy, he’s been here literally every night for the past month. I mean what about our agreement bruh, where is my privacy 😭 🙁
he uses our kitchen and messes it up every single time I tell you, our Wi-Fi, our bathroom stuff and never put it in it place, and he doesn’t pay rent. I asked her nicely to talk about it, and she said I was being “controlling” and jealous of her relationship like heck I want your foolass boyfriend just leave me alone. istg only if I had money 🙁 😔
I finally told her he needs to cut back or start paying, or I’ll involve the landlord.
Now she’s telling our friend group I’m a nightmare to live with, badmouthing from my back and literally everyone in our campus knows it (okay maybe I am exaggerating but I am not ignorant to stares)
AITA for setting boundaries? Please be honest 🙁
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I (20F) share a small 2BHK with my roommate (also 20F) near our college and bro we agreed from the start: no live-in partners, guests max 2–3 nights a week butt ever since she started dating this guy, he’s been here literally every night for the past month. I mean what about our agreement bruh, where is my privacy 😭 🙁
he uses our kitchen and messes it up every single time I tell you, our Wi-Fi, our bathroom stuff and never put it in it place, and he doesn’t pay rent. I asked her nicely to talk about it, and she said I was being “controlling” and jealous of her relationship like heck I want your foolass boyfriend just leave me alone. istg only if I had money 🙁 😔
I finally told her he needs to cut back or start paying, or I’ll involve the landlord.
Now she’s telling our friend group I’m a nightmare to live with, badmouthing from my back and literally everyone in our campus knows it (okay maybe I am exaggerating but I am not ignorant to stares)
AITA for setting boundaries? Please be honest 🙁
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Nah NTA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i might be the asshole because i gave my roomate an ultimatum about her boyfriends visits without trying to have more discussions first by threatening to involve the landlord i may have been too agressive and could be damaging her relationship and living situation over issues that might have been resolved through better communication
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, she’s not following the rule you both put in place.
You’re definitely NTA here. No question.
We see situations like this all the time on our platform. You and your roommate set clear ground rules: no live-in partners, guests limited to 2–3 nights a week, and she’s completely ignoring that. It’s not just about the boyfriend being there; it’s the fact that he’s using your space, your stuff, and not contributing at all.
You’re not being controlling! You’re asking for basic respect and boundaries, which are critical in any shared living situation. Honestly, expecting a guest who’s basically moved in to either cut back or contribute is totally fair.
We actually wrote a blog about this exact issue: Is Your Roommate’s Boyfriend or Girlfriend Always Over?
You’re not alone, and it gives tips on how to handle this.
You deserve a home where you feel comfortable. Stay firm, and don’t feel bad for advocating for yourself!
NTA and don’t worry about other people knowing, they would soon complain if they would be in your position.
NEW RULE: Each night someone has a guest sleeping over, either guest or host has to put X amount towards the household expenses (less privacy, additional expenses in water, electricity, food, etc).
NTA. Maybe you could try to suggest that they take turns at each other’s places, or if she’s willing to pay extra and he can leave your stuff alone? Might be a possibility to compromise. Now if you try to tell them how to treat each other or how often they can see each other in a general sense, I could understand that coming off as controlling. Just from a previous experience of mine personally. Either way, NTA just for wanting/needing space or time to yourself 🫶🙏
NTA. Stick to agreements.
NTA. She is putting your housing in jeopardy. Check your lease to see if it has something about how often guests can stay over. You didn’t agree to live with him.
Nta
Nta but she is and he’s a mooch
You’re 100% in the right. Do you have your agreement in writing? Always get it in writing. If it IS in writing, then document every day and tell the landlord. It sounds like this partner has essentially moved in with you without your or your landlord’s consent. As much as I hate landlords this might actually be a time to involve them.
NTA, you signed up to live with her not them
You set boundaries, got no respect. Tell landlord will make for bigger fight. If you’re a guy, bring over hot woman to flirt with her man. She’ll break up with him. But jic she wants to fight, you have to be there to stop it. Problem solved. Then, be kind but firm that this can not happen again. Save your money tho, cuz it will. First tell landlord about it, don’t get stuck breaking lease, see if landlord will ok you leaving.
NTA. Tell the landlord, and fk the friend group. Young adults are wishy washy anyway. I would refuse to pay more than 1/3 of everything moving forward.
NTA you had an agreement and she has broken it, and you should tell your friend group that
NTA. You signed up for one roommate not two.
Nta. They are. They are not going to change, so stick with your plan and advise the landlord. This is grossly unfair to you. As for those others, to hell with them. Until they pay your rent, they don’t get a say.