I (24 f) have a cat who is very important to me. Every night he sleeps next to me, I sleep on my side and he sleeps against my chest. My boyfriend (27 m) hates this and even says if he wakes up and sees me holding him he will leave in the morning without any goodbyes or waking me up. He says if he wants to sleep alone he can do that at his house and he’s here to sleep with me. So I try to hold him (my boyfriend) as much as I can while we are sleeping but he sleeps facing the way I hate so I usually roll over to sleep the other way eventually. My cat will sleep next to me whether I’m facing my boyfriend (so laying against my back) or I face him when I roll over. Out of respect for my boyfriend I don’t cuddle him while he’s here but I still let him sleep next to me. Last night my boyfriend woke me up saying he couldn’t fall asleep so I scooted up next to him so he could hold me. This woke up my cat who moved with me and laid next to me. I did not cuddle up with my cat because I know how he feels but I allowed him to lay next to me, this infuriated my boyfriend who told me and my cat to go “f yourself”, collected his stuff and had me drive him to his car at 3:30 am. He didn’t say goodbye. Did not respond to my I love you’s and I have not heard from him since. Am I the asshole? I truly don’t understand why this is so upsetting to him.
Edit: many comments are asking if he is allergic or not a cat person. He is not allergic and he says and appears to be a cat person. He loves them they are his favorite pet. He just doesn’t want me to hold him while we are sleeping because I should be giving my attention to him and not my cat while we are together.
Comments
NTA. Keep the cat, lose the dude who is jealous of your affection for your cat.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did something he told me not to do but I took what he said literally so I thought since I wasn’t holding him it would be fine. Since he said not to and I did I could be the asshole but I’m not sure because I feel like it’s an overreaction.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Lose the boyfriend and keep the cat! He needs to accept everything about you and your life!
Yeeaaahhhh, would he have this issue if it was a dog? Does he have issues with the cat in general?? Like, this is a pretty massive red flag, hon. I could understand if it was a big dog and the dog took up half the bed so he couldn’t sleep in the bed too but it’s a cat. They are basically non-neutonian fluids shaped like a cat.
NTA.
NTA, sounds like your boyfriend is the issue and you might need to consider your relationship. Find yourself someone who loves and appreciates both you and your cat.
NTA
NTA dude sounds like a walking 🚩🚩🚩 if he is upset over a cat wanting to cuddle.
That man is a walking red flag. Getting that worked up over a cat in the bed is not normal.
Your boyfriend is jealous of your cat.
Let that really sink in. Really think about how childish, selfish, and emotionally immature someone has to be, to have that attitude and opinion.
Ditch the bf, keep the cat.
NTA
Its 50 / 50. Clearly boyfriend doesnt want to sleep with the cat and feel OP wants to sleep with him alone. Not a big mystery or hard to sympathize with. It is a boyfriend or cat situation and OP chose cat.
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NTA (but your boyfriend is) I cuddle my cat almost every night. My husband cuddles me and my cat is little spoon. He thinks it’s cute. He’s never had a problem with it. A lot of times his cat will sleep in the middle between us. We both love having our cats sleep in bed with us. Find you a partner that likes cats. You’ll be much happier.
NTA. He can’t sleep unless you are cuddling? That sounds awful. A quick cuddle before falling asleep is fine but all night? He’s being overly dramatic about a cat in bed and the way he treats you is terrible. Rethink this relationship.
Your boyfriend response was rude, extreme, and childish. I’d dump him and keep the cat. Then again there’s a springer spaniel that sleeps with us, so I have no issues with animals in bed. Some people strongly dislike tbe thought of animals in bed as your boyfriend so clearly demonstrated. NTA.
NTA – Dude is insecure about a CAT???? Holy Mother of Goddess!! Dump his insecure ass. What will he be like with children. Keep the cat. I love my kitties. They have always been allowed to sleep with us. Just got a new puppy. Guess where he sleeps. WITH US! On top of us, under us (generally arms), next to us, wherever he wants to. Get a better boyfriend.
NTA
Your boyfriend is jealous of a cat. That sleeps next to you. Consider this with your next bf.
Why would you date someone who’s not a cat person?
you dont have a door on your bedroom?
Your boyfriend is jealous of a cat. What else is this guy going to be jealous of now or in the future. Frankly if I had to choose I’d give up the boyfriend.
NTA. Getting mad and jealous over a cat is ridiculous. I have a cat and if someone in my life told me what your bf told you, I’d be throwing hands. 😡👿😾 big ol red flag here. If this is how he behaves about a beloved pet, then this is not someone you should have in your life. Alarming and scary behavior
Imo you’d be an asshole if you told your cat to go fuck himself and kicked him off the bed. So nah you’re absolutely NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like a real ray of sunshine
All this over a cat 😩 I think he did you a favour girl
Sigh. NTA
Your 27 year old “grown” boyfriend is unreasonably jealous of a cat. A cat.
Change the locks, block his number, enjoy your cat, and find yourself one of the fine happy men who actually also love cats. The boy you’ve been sleeping with is NOT a keeper.
he’s… jealous… of… a… cat… and you want to know if you’re the bad guy here? sweetheart. darling. baby angel. let this man go
Nta the boyfriend has issues. He’s so possessive u can’t even cuddle with ur cat? Find a guy that likes cats.
He’s jealous of your cat- you dump him. He’s not secure, he’s emotionally immature & he’s a controlling asshole
i’m so stuck on a man feeling jealous over the amount of touches he gets compared to a cat. be a man! jesus christ
Get rid of that dude before he gets rid of your cat. His behaviour is unhinged
You two aren’t compatible. He’s a 27 year old grown man jealous of a cat. Let him go and find yourself someone who will love your cat also. NTA.
He sounds needy as hell. If he didn’t permanently take himself with the trash, you should.
Cat jealousy aside, this guy is waking you up because he can’t sleep, like a child. Wtf.
nta
NTA, dude sounds like a wet towel of a man. Being jealous of a cat is insane, maybe I could understand if he was deathly allergic but this just sounds petty as fuck. Love and cuddle that cat and ditch the wet towel
Give your bf a reverse Uno and tell him he can go eff himself since he has no gf anymore. Honestly, as proven by your cat, cat is gonna cat. If cat wants to sleep next to you, you’re powerless to stop it aside from closing your door without cat in room, but that would be mean to cat. If bf cannot understand this and feels insecure by an adorable furball, than that’s his problem and he’s clearly too immature for this relationship. Drop the deal weight, keep kitty.
NTA.
NTA until this:
. Did not respond to my I love you’s
Why are you saying “I love you” to such an enormous asshole? You’re 24 so you’re too young to know that this is not how it’s supposed to work. Get some self-respect (and respect for your cat) and break up with this asshole.
Girl you are NTA and you should leave.
This is a wild level of insecurity and jealousy. He’s jealous of your pet animal. A cat. Just because he’s near you.
This is an enormous red flag
NTA
Your boyfriend is an insecure little bitchboy
I really don’t understand why people not wanting to sleep with a cat makes them terrible people. Some people don’t like sleeping with pets. It’s as simple as a personal preference.
The rules on this sub do not allow me to insult your boyfriend.
So I will not insult your boyfriend. There’s just nothing constructive to say about him.
NTA
Ditch the boyfriend. He’s toxic.
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Coming from someone who had to kick her dogs out of bed to please her man: Don’t do it. Any man making you choose between him and your pet, is just not worth it.
This is how controlling and abusive behaviors start.
Enjoy sleeping with your cat. You’ll be open to finding someone who thinks it’s endearing and sweet, the way you sleep together. Don’t settle for less.
Where do you see this going long term? You are a cat person. He is very much not. You are not compatible.
If my husband spooned me and felt my cat, he’d start petting the cat while spooning me.
throw the whole boyfriend away!
If your boyfriend is that jealous of a cat, dump him and keep the cat. NTA the cat was there first. Good riddance to bad relationships.
You’re only the asshole to yourself if you stay in this relationship. Developing jealousy towards a small animal like this is a red flag the size of a skyscraper. It’s also worth heavily considering that he might be a danger to your cat, which you have an obligation to care for. A shitty boyfriend isn’t worth losing your cat over.
NTA He is jealous of your cat who is affectionate.
If i were dating someone who had such an amazing cat i’d want picture of them together for my phone background. And i’d probably spoil the cat with treats for taking care of my beloved.
Also here is a Best of Reddit Update that covers this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1b6jd2p/aita_for_standing_firm_on_my_lack_of_hygiene_and/
😆 my husband just cuddles the cat too. How fragile do you have to be to be jealous of a cat that’s been around longer than you?
If you stay with him, it won’t stop with where the cat sleeps. He will want you to get rid of the cat.
Please get rid of the boyfriend first. You and your cat deserve better.
NTA. I would burn any relationship for my cats. He’s being jealous and insecure over a pet.
wow i have never heard of a boyfriend who is jealous of a cat lol. Sounds like he is incredibly insecure, and you are probably better off without him. imagine if you ended up together and you were never allowed to cuddle your cat? sounds like hell to me.
NTA
Your boyfriend needs to get over himself. The cat is not in competition with him. The cat is a cat and does what a cat does. I say ditch the boyfriend and keep the cat. Because obviously he wants you to ditch your cat.
This is the beginning of him controlling you. If you let him do this, what other things will he demand you stop doing/things you must get rid of/fun you can no longer have, etc. Don’t give in. It’s a slippery slope.
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NTA. I have a rescue dog who is very needy and attached to me. He sleeps chest to chest every night. When my husband wants to cuddle, he cuddles right up next to my dog and cuddles both of us. The dog loves it lol. Ditch the man, keep snuggling the cat.
NTA. My ex husband hated cats. He asked me to get rid of my cat when we were dating. He told me he was allergic so for 12 years I never had one. We divorced (shocker) and he remarried. His new family has a cat. He was never allergic. I think he just knew how much I loved my cat and it was the start of his narcissistic behavior towards me to take all my joy away. Maybe this is your sign to let him leave. He will probably tell everyone you chose a cat over him but the good people in your life will know you did the right thing. No one should take your joy away. It was a hard lesson for me to learn and finally walk away. Save yourself now.
Run girl
NTA. Why date someone who is this childish and needy? Sounds like his emotional needs weren’t met by his mother, and he’s expecting you to fill the void. Boundaries and personal space are healthy. This sounds like he’s testing how far he can push your boundaries. It starts with your cat. What happens when he takes issues with you embracing your friends or family members in his presence? What about if you have a baby? I would usually recommend a face to face conversation to see if he’s open to working on his issues, but this kind of emotional immaturity is above your paygrade – he needs therapy.
run and don’t look back
there is nothing at all cute or funny about this, the guy is insane. He has a major control issue to the extent that he’s jealous of a cat.
If this is his favourite pet then I shudder to think how he would treat other animals.
I’m serious this guy has a screw loose and you don’t want to find out how deep this rabbit hole goes.
NTA
I used to have a strict no animals in bed policy but the love of good women and good pets wore me down. Now it doesn’t feel right unless I’m with my love and our feral family. When someone really is important trivial things shouldn’t matter.
NTA
Dump the guy, keep the cat. One of our kitties likes to cuddle up between my wife and I when it is cold
Jealous over a cat. Time to get rid of the human and enjoy cuddles with your kitty.
Yta for having a cat.
NTA. If he was allergic it’d be reasonable to ask the cat not sleep on the bed. But it seems like he doesn’t care about the bed, but the cuddling. And he apparently thinks he’s ‘sleeping alone’ if he doesn’t get to hold you in a specific way. Madly controlling, huge red flag.
He walked out of the car without saying anything? Now it’s your turn – don’t say anything else to him.
If your bf is acting like this over a cat, just think if you were to have a child/children with him.
🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Didn’t even read the whole thing. Anyone jealous of an animal is a huge 🚩.
NTA. He’s childish and selfish. Please, don’t let your cat around the house with him if you’re not home. I’ve seen cases of people abducting their partner’s pets, some people really make sure their partner looses their pet. Take care.
And you consider this man to be an adult?
Pets shouldn’t be allowed on furniture or beds, this is unhygienic, welcome toxoplasmosis and fecal matter from their litter box. I love and care for my cats but they are not allowed in the bedroom nor countertops…
If the girl I dated told me it her or the cats, I’ll help her pack.
Nta but your boyfriend is weirdly jealous of your cat. That’s a red flag.
Imagine. A grown man being jealous of a cat.
You’re well rid of him. NTA
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Imagine the one deep relaxing rest and he wants to control that. NTA
Girl, your cat isn’t the red flag here. Imagine being jealous of a pet that literally just exists. 🚩🚩🚩
You’re NTA but what the heck is wrong with your boyfriend? My boyfriend is delighted when my cat sleeps in bed with us. We call it a cuddle puddle.
Wow. Some day I hope you look back on this and think— damn, I really should have seen how big of an asshole my boyfriend is sooner, that whole cat thing really was an indicator.
Girl get rid of the boyfriend, get one who loves cats and won’t make demands of you.
Literally like, where does it stop? Next the cat won’t be allowed in your room, then he’ll talk about rehoming him. Just consider this a bullet dodged, for real.
NTA but you will be to your cat if you bring this guy back.
NTA
Sounds like he needs to go back to the nursery if he needs to be swaddled while he sleeps. Even if you didn’t have a cat, you can’t be expected to hold him all night.
NTA! That is creepy and messed up and I would absolutely dump his ass.
I have a cat named Frank who is the love of my life. Wherever I am, he is too. He’s slept beside me for the last ten years. You know, when my boyfriend first came over and met him, Frank was enchanted and head over heels. Now half the time I wake up to Frank snuggled up to him instead of me!
It might seem like a small thing… but to me it’s a huge red flag if he is displaying that level of jealousy over a CAT. You need 100% of your attention on him at all times?? Even when it makes your sleep worse?? And you can’t even cuddle your cat?? That is really really ominous to me. That is not normal or healthy behavior.
Literally my wife and I share our queen bed with our one cat, and we just got a second because we felt like another can’t on the bed wasn’t a big deal. I hate sleeping in hotels now because it’s weird NOT having her on the bed.
That’s literally so dumb. He’s getting jealous of a cat? Even without my dog, I’ve never cuddled a partner all night bc I like to move around and I get too warm. What a hill to die on. NTA.
NTA
He’s not a cat person if he doesn’t understand a cat is going to do what a cat wants to do.
He wants all of your attention while sleeping, yet sleeps away from you. He gets upset and leaves but demands you drive him to his car. He’s got issues. Imagine what his behavior would be if you had kids with him.
i literally have severe allergies to our cats to the point i need to be on like three different prescribed medications and STILL deal with symptoms but i don’t even care became my favorite feeling in the world is when my bf is spooning me in bed and out chunky gal goes and plops herself in the tiny space between his chest and my back like a chuck roast trying to fit into a sausage casing… it melts my heart
this guy is a loser and incredibly insecure if he feels intimidated by a CAT that’s wild nta
you are the asshole however for not including a cat tax…. just saying
NTA honestly I made very clear to my boyfriend very early on that my cat would always be my #1 little man and he would have to live with it. If he’d been anything like your (hopefully ex?) boyfriend he’d have been out on his ass in a heartbeat.
NTA
It’s not even about the cat. Your boyfriend expects 100% of your attention,, which is just not possible. I had an ex like that who would get jealous if a coworker texted me during off hours to switch shifts or something.
What’s going to happen if you have kids? Is he going to be jealous of a sick kid? Take it as the early red flag that it is.
My cat sleeps between us so she can be snuggled up to us both. Similarly, my bf sleeps on the side I can’t roll over to bc of heartburn issues, so we don’t cuddle all night anyway. Sometimes kitten doesn’t fall asleep with us so he cuddles up to me. If he didn’t want the cat to sleep w us he wouldn’t be here. NTA.
Get rid of the boyfriend. Secure men aren’t threatened by a person’s love of an animal.
NTA. My ex was like this with her cat. Despite us being broken up, I still have all the pics of her cuddling her cat. It was the cutest sight ever.
Get rid of the boyfriend. Your cat is more important.
Dude is insecure as fuck and a moron.
Chose.
NTA, all I can is yikes
Honestly, if your boyfriend’s mad because your cat wants to sleep next to you, that’s a red flag. A cat cuddling doesn’t compare to throwing a tantrum at 3:30 AM. If he can’t handle a pet being part of your life, that’s a him problem, not a you problem.
Is your boyfriend seriously jealous of a cat? NTA I would ditch him
NTA. In choosing between a cat and a grown child, choose the cat.
He is a major AH and walking red flag, and you will be the AH if you stay w him! He’s bizarre
Let’s review: your boyfriend hates seeing you cuddle with your cat as you sleep in your bed, because he thinks he’s entitled to all of your attention. He saw it happen again, packs up his shit, demands that you drive him to his car at 3:30 am, & is using silent treatment against you.
Of course you’re NTA. He’s a grown man jealous of a cat. He claims to be a cat person. Nope, I’ll bet he made that claim to get in your good books. A true cat person would be delighted to cuddle with cats, asleep or not. Dump him & give your precious fur baby extra cuddles & kisses. 💜🐈⬛
NTA, fuck this guy. You’re better off without him. How does he treat your cat outside of bed time? I’d be worried he’d do something to hurt him.
The fact that man is jealous over a literal CAT should tell you all you need to know about him. You’re NTA he is. Leave him and cuddle your cat.
Funny that you used the word “allowed” and cat in the same sentence. Let me help you rewrite this: Do you think my cat will allow my bf to stay over? There. All fixed.
NTA. Your bf is jealous of a cat??? Dude has some serious issues 😐
This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. Not you OP- but seriously? He’s upset because you cuddle your fucking cat? What the hell is wrong with him? NTA. This is absurd. Like seriously absurd.
He is your ex boyfriend now. Got it???
This dude is seriously that insecure over a cat?
NTA but this is not going to end well.
Listen up, folks. If you try to make a cat owner choose between you or the cat? They will choose the cat every time, and they would be right to do so.
If I tried to pull this on my wife she’d end me.
Your boyfriend, a full-grown man pushing thirty, is jealous of the “attention” you pay to your cat. “Attention” in scare quotes because it’s happening while you’re all asleep. I mean, seriously, wtf is wrong with this guy?
NTA, and I hope he either apologizes for being utterly ridiculous or quietly vanishes because you have dumped him. Life’s too short to coddle someone’s feelings because they’re jealous of a pet… not to mention, how would he handle it if you had a child with him? Would he punish you for showing affection to the baby instead of him?
I had to scroll back up to check the ages bc I couldn’t imagine either of you was over 18, but sure enough, Reddit never disappoints! WTF did I just read? Possibly the most immature argument of all time. Honestly ESH. Mostly him for being jealous of a cat. That’s just too ridiculous to wrap my head around. And you for not dumping him for this ridiculous behavior. And not only that, when he has a tantrum in the middle of the night and tells you to drive him to his car, you just … do? After he told you (and the cat) to go fuck yourselves?? Why didn’t you just throw him out and tell him to go fuck himself? Make him sleep on the couch? Get an Uber? You got up at 3am and drove him to his car and you think the problem is he didn’t say goodbye and won’t respond to your “I love yous”? Girl you need to have some self respect. The way you coddle this AH is making me cringe. Grow a spine and choose the cat. This guy is not it.
NTA! Babe, if he is jealous of your cat (your literal baby), then he needs to go, or he needs to chill tf out. Men who are jealous of their s/o’s pets are freaking weirdos. I know I don’t have enough details for this to be accurate, but there’s still a chance he’ll get so irritated that he could do something to the cat. Put your baby first :,) (This is just my opinion on how I would handle it if it was me and my cat)
He is awful!! What a petty, controlling jerk! This is a first step in a lifetime of escalating abuse. I hope you get out now!!
That’s crazy af meow
A grown man jealous of affection being given to a cat? Yeah, NTA. Weird, controlling behavior. Best case scenario he’s very immature and self conscious, worst case he’s a controlling red flag. Don’t try to accommodate this request in any way, for the sake of yourself and your cat. When your cat is gone, you’ll regret not spending that time with them. Anyways, that’s my honest opinion. This would be a deal breaker for me.
Edit: re-read the post and noticed the part where he told you and your cat to fuck off?! Wtf. Then made YOU drive him to HIS car at 3:30?? Verdict changed: dump his ass. There is no excuse for this. Omg. This man will do all he can to prevent you from loving your cat, and your cat will suffer for it. Sometimes weirdos like these end up hurting the pet or it “accidentally” gets lost outside. Seriously, be careful with this unhinged man.
NTA. Leave him, his response to a pet showing you affection when both of you are vulnerable is sad. His argument is also invalid, he’s just sleeping with more creatures than he wants to and that’s a him problem.
It sounds like the trash has taken itself out here, imagine being jealous of a cat!!! You’re definitely NTA
I have 2 cats who sleep on my bed whenever they choose to. My boyfriend knows this and even feels honoured when one of them chooses to lie next to or on him. It was definitely a case of “love me love my cats”.
Cuddle that cat and leave the boyfriend to have his tantrum.
NTA. If this person is expecting you to pick between him and your pet, that is a control issue red flag and you are probably better off with out him. If he is acting like this now, as a guest in your home, considering how things might escalate if you were living together. Would be become abusive to the cat? Expect you to get rid of the animal entirely? Try to control other aspects of your life? He is showing you who he is, pay attention and decide of this is something you want to deal with for the next 40 or 50 years.
That’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m married and the cats sleep with us. Your boyfriend is being a baby and jealous of the cat. There are plenty of times you two can cuddle together, he’s just being controlling.
Ditch the boyfriend and keep the kitty, and do it now before more red flags start popping up in how he “demands” things of you.
NTA. Bro is jealous of a fckn cat! Keep your sweet kitty, get rid of the bf.
Sounds like your bf is extremely insecure, about an animal at that. Major red flag
NTA. You’re asleep. It doesn’t matter what way you’re facing or who you’re holding. Intimacy is for people who are awake.
Nta.
More power to him if he Believes that one can prevent a cat from sleeping where it wants.also I could never talk to my SO like that.
>He just doesn’t want me to hold him while we are sleeping because I should be giving my attention to him and not my cat while we are together.
This is a GIANT red flag.
Your boyfriend is jealous of an animal, for getting some of your attention /affection, that could’ve potentially gone to him.
Say you two stay together, and you have a kid.
Is he going to tell you and your kid to go fuck yourselves, because you’re cuddling your baby, while you could be cuddling him instead?
I sleep with my cat.
I slept with my cat when me and my now husband got together.
Same positions you described.
My then boyfriend now husband would put his arm over me, and pet my cat, while it was curled up against my stomach/chest.
Eventually, the cats (there were several, but just one that slept at my stomach) would rotate through the night, cuddling with my partner half the time.
We still have one cat now. She has a routine, where she first says ‘HI!’ to me, when we to to bed. Then she snuggles up with my husband, under the blankets. And when he falls asleep and rolls on his side, she’ll come snuggle with me.
Healthy relationships love love, and they share love. They do not hog love, or get jealous over affection to animals.
NTA
And I would strongly advise you to let your boyfriend stew on it, and not give in to his weird jealousy
I’m allergic AF to cats, so it would be a hard no for me to even be at the flat.
I don’t personally allow my dog in the bed and feel the same way about cats, but that’s just my preference. Maybe that’s what he feels and is failing (quite dismally) to express?
Your NTA if that’s your preference, he’s NTA for leaving if he feels that strongly about it. However, it sounds like his manner is way out of line.
Hey – I had a cat that used to snuggle with me just like this. He passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. I would give anything to snuggle with him again. Your boyfriend is an insecure jerk.
NTA
NTA.
You need to DUMP THIS ASSHOLE!!!
He has NO right to demand you kick your cat out of your bed when he has slept with you all the time every night. It is YOUR home, YOUR bed, and YOUR cats bed!! The cats not even disturbing him or climbing on him etc, he’s simply cuddling up to you as he does every night.
The fact you also don’t cuddle your cat when he’s there because it will annoy him is ridiculous and he’s not the type of person you want around your cat.
You should not have to behave differently or exclude your cat from cuddles or sleeping with you because of him. Plus if he’s this severely against your cat I can guarantee you he will miss treat him, and likely push him off the sofa or the bed, or kick him if he walks past him etc. Your cat will also pick up on his hatred and he’ll feel unsafe around him.
If he hates cats this much you are NOT compatible.
Your cat is your family, he’s like your child, and nobody should come between you like he is.
He’s fucking jealous of a cat, and he hates cats, and hes behaving ridiculous and selfish and horrible.
The fact he made you drive him to his car at 3am is ludicrous and the whole ignoring you is just rude and childish.
Also, people who mistreat and hate animals are generally not good people.
Just DUMP HIM, he is NOT a good person.
NTA ditch the loser keep the cat
he sounds like a child…. that is one of the stupidest things I’ve read in a while. NTA
Ugh the title should be stupid, insecure,ex boyfriend is jealous of my cat .
This is stupid. It reads like he’s jealous of your cat. You are sleeping with your bf all night. You’re in the same bed and snuggle. I don’t get his attitude and I’d be done with it. It’s such a ridiculous thing to argue over. He’s 27, not 14 and he needs to grow up.
NTA for allowing your fur baby to sleep next to you. I really hope you are not going to chase this loser.
NTA, but he definitely is. throw the whole man out. he is jealous of a CAT. do you realize how insane that is? he has issues. he won’t let you snuggle your cat while he’s in bed with you? what a tool. my partner and I love getting the cats to snuggle between us.
NTA at all.
Here’s my anecdote, from having a very clingy cat, and a boyfriend who also owns his own clingy cat.
I personally don’t allow my cats in my bedroom, because I don’t want to compete with them for my ADHD boyfriends attention during romantic nights. That’s MY choice, with MY cats. This means that my cats don’t sleep in my bedroom, even before my boyfriend was in my life. This is MOSTLY because my cats are morons, and will immediately start climbing on shit they should not be climbing on.
His cat, however, seems to understand when i’m there, her place on a night time is at the FOOT of the bed, and not on my partners chest. I would never leave because of her mere presence in a rage. That’s insane.
is he still sleeping in the bed with you? if he is i see 0 problem…
He’s literally jealous of a cat… NTA.
your boyfriend has some unbelievable insecurity issues, this is some seriously next level shit.
hes jealous of a fucking cat.
i dont see how this could possibly work out well for you. im usually the last person to suggest breaking up but idk what else there is to do here lol this is totally insane.
This guy sounds terrible. I would break up with him for being jealous of my cat. After he’s long cat your cat is still going to love you and cuddle you. NTA.
Bro was jealous of a cat. Probably wasn’t worth having around
Imagine being jealous of a cat and throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler in the middle of the night. How embarrassing.
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NTA. You shouldn’t be paying attention to your boyfriend, you should be paying attention to SLEEPING. And I agree with others that it’s dumb that he’s jealous of a cat. Don’t bother chasing after him. You’ll be happier and better off….
Man’s jealous of a cat. This is one of 6 things I’ve ever read.
So how little exactly do you like yourself to want to be with someone who’s jealous of a pet and seems to want to dictate what you do for the sake of their own ego?
NTA I lost my cat in November and I miss him. You can get another boyfriend. The trust and love you’ve built with your cat is worth way more than this animal hater. You’re better off
He left in the middle of the night because he is jealous of your cat?! Jesus!
Imagine you were the one leaving in the middle of the night because you were jealous of your boyfriend’s cat…
It sounds like jealousy, or control, or some such thing. It sounds very unpleasant, regardless of how we define it. And along with that, having his reaction be “go F yourself” is not something I would get over. I don’t want to look forward to a lifetime of simple things being blown out of proportion because of his tender little feelers.
NTA. I would die of happiness if my partners cat was happy to be ‘even littler spoon’
weirdo behavior to be jealous of a cat tbh. All I see are red flags .
NTA your boyfriend is. If the cat is laying against your chest your boyfriend could easily be the big spoon. The fact that he’s saying he will leave if he sees you holding the cat means he’s very controlling. This is a really ridiculous argument. If you end up leaving him you will understand what I mean in your next relationship.
He did you a favor walking out. No partner is more important than furbabies. NTA
NTA- he’s literally weirdly jealous of a cat???? We as pet owners are their whole lives… you can’t expect your cat to just stop snuggling when you’re sleeping when that is what he is used to. And your bf is crazy for trying to control how you sleep at night. OP I hope you dump him. No person in their right mind tells someone to “f themselves” over sleeping next to a cat… tbh I’d be even more annoyed at the fact he woke me up just to comfort him because he could not sleep. Does he expect you to just shove your cat away in the night when he’s over??
Your boyfriend is a little insecure baby man who is jealous of a cat and is PUNISHING you for it. That is a huge red flag.
Don’t ignore it.
NTA
I love it when the trash takes itself out.
…out of respect for your boyfriend you dont cuddle your cat around him…? Are we being fr?
He’s jealous….of a cat.
A fucking cat, girl.
for the love of god pick the cat. NTA. my baby boy sleeps on me and you know what my boyfriend does? He holds me and the cat. Or I’ll spoon the cat and my boyfriend spoons me. We are a family and I would never date someone who couldn’t understand or want that. I don’t get why people who hate an animal date someone who has that animal. Like the animal was there first, YOU are the guest.
I think the only valid concern would be if you were trying to be intimate with the cat on the bed. It instantly kills the mood when you look over and mister fluffypants is staring through your soul from the corner of the bed
NTA. Your cat obviously enjoys cuddling with you more than your boyfriend and he can’t get you pregnant. Your cat is the better choice.
Oh yea and I never would have drove him to his car at 3:30am he could have walked or sat outside in the rain idc. If he’s gonna throw a tantrum over a cat he can go f himself !
Are you going to wait until the day comes when boyfriend tells you “the cat or me”? Because it’s coming. NTA.
You should run from anyone that demands that you give them all of your attention WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP.
NTA you should pick the cat – your boyfriend has weird power dynamics and control issues.
NTA. I’m sorry… he’s mad that he’s not getting attention while asleep because of a cat? Buh-bye.
My husband reluctantly let me start bringing my male cat in and now we have two indoors. He has embraced them over time and loves them (not as much as me, but I’m hard to beat on that!). Last week, I was out of town for a night and when I was on my way home, he text me “we (including the cats) are excited for you to get home!”
Cats > boyfriends
Had a boyfriend in uni who said he was allergic to cats. Said if we moved forward long-term I would have to get rid of my darling cat. She was 13 at the time. The best girl💚 Wouldn’t even consider trying a common allergy medicine. I married someone else. We have some cats and children who love cats. F*ck that other guy. He apparently cheated too so very glad I ended it
You are NTA. Get rid of the boyfriend. He’s irrationally insecure. He will hurt your cat. Maybe physical. Maybe he’ll “accidentally” let Cat outdoors. He will do what he needs to get Cat out of your life. Boyfriend is a huge AH. Choose Cat.
he is jealous over a cat…. JEALOUS over a CAT, an ANIMAL… i think it’s best to leave him, there could be a possibility where he could hurt your cat
NTA
Your man is envious of a cat.
Someone needs to get their priorities sorted and it’s not you.
NTA. This is typical cat behavior. But your bf sounds jealous & that’s a little weird. Personally I’d keep the cat & ditch the bf.
His expectation is unrealistic. Cuddling is great but often cuddling while sleeping is uncomfortable for at least one of the partners. Id be a bit weirded out about a gf’s fixation on absolutely needing to sleep cuddling her cat.. but It eouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Then again im in my 30s and I’ve let go of the petty bullshit my younger self would have had issues with. There’s more important things to consider when analyzing a relstionship.
This is something that is my 6 year old did I would think I might need to consider talking to a mental health professional……
Seriously this is a huge red flag run now and do not go. This man is not right in the head & I can’t even imagine what else is lingering up there. I don’t even want to know what he would do when to comes to children….
NTA
Jealousy of the cat aside, I dont understand how you are meant to give him attention WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP. This is absurd. Dump the bf.
EDIT: NTA
Girl. He’s jealous of a cat. A cat. He’s in competition with a cat. Dump that child and enjoy being with your fur baby. Nta.
NTA, dude’s freaking out about a cat’s sleeping arrangements.
As with most scenarios this proves the rule : animals good, people bad
The cat hasn’t complained about this guy? I bet it has, if you’re paying attention.
Lose the dude, that cat is your ride-or-die homie
It sounds like he may need a penis enlargement or a transplant due to lack of one. The guy, not the cat. Just stick with the cat. I have to ask though because the answer will explain so much, male or female cat?
NTA
This is a really weird hill for your boyfriend to choose to die on. If this story is all true and the boyfriend can’t come up with a better explanation for it than “I don’t like it” or “You think the cat is more important than me” then I’d call that a red flag. I don’t generally call something that but this is it.
Seriously? He’s jealous of the cat? Makes you get up and drive him home because you should be paying attention to him? I think you should consider this a huge red flag.
If your boyfriend can’t share the bed with a cat for a few hours without losing his mind, maybe he needs to figure out his priorities. The fact that he storms out over this is wild. You can’t ask someone to pick between their pet and their partner like that.
Jealous of snuggling a cat while sleeping?! What?! Grow up man!!! NTA, unless you stay with this dude and keep ignoring that sweet cat for this not very sweet man.
NTA he’s jealous of a cat! You’re lucky to be rid of him, don’t take his calls if he comes around, he’ll try to make you get rid of your pet