First off, I’m truly grateful I found this platform where I can share what I’ve kept bottled up for years. I’m the wife of one of India’s well-known public figures. A lot of people might recognize me too though I’m not as he is. From the outside, we’re the picture-perfect couple. People admire us, think we have it all. But inside the walls of our home, the reality is heartbreaking.
Our relationship is cold, distant, and honestly, hollow. The connection between us and between him and our kids is nearly nonexistent. We play the part for the public: smiling, attending events, showing affection when the cameras are on. But it’s just that a performance.
He hardly acknowledges me or the children. He’s financially supportive, and I have my own career as well, so money isn’t the issue. But emotionally and relationally, I feel like I’m raising the kids alone. He doesn’t make time for us. Conversations turn into monologues from my end. I’ve tried talking, pleading, suggesting therapy, giving space everything. Nothing changes.
I want my children to grow up with a father who is present, caring, and nurturing. But sadly, that’s not the reality. I’m the one who plans family trips, but most of them end up just being me and the kids because he “doesn’t have time” or “needs rest.” There’s always a reason.
What makes this worse is that I can’t walk away. His status, our social circle, cultural expectations, and the fear of what people will say keep me tied to a life that feels like a gilded cage. I know many people would envy my life from afar but they don’t know what it’s like behind the scenes. I’m stuck in a marriage that looks perfect but feels like a slow, quiet heartbreak every day.
All I ever wanted was a caring partner and a loving home for my kids. But instead, we live in a well-decorated cage. And I don’t know how long I can keep pretending.
I don’t expect miracles. But if anyone reading this has been through something similar how did you cope? How did you find clarity or peace without shaking your entire world apart? Any advice or even just your thoughts would mean the world to me.
Thank you for listening.
Comments
I don’t have advice for you but I would like to offer my condolences. It is incredibly brave of you to write this post. It seems this situation is making you quite anxious and upset. So my advice would be to get some therapy is possible. Even if there’s someone you could talk to it would help massively to just get it off your chest.
Whatever you decide to end up doing, I wish the best for you and hope that things improve for you.
What does he get out of things? Would he want a divorce if it weren’t for the external social reasons? Things are equally cold and unsalvageable in both directions?
Wondering about those things because they change your options.
The only surefire things I can think to do are to pretend you are getting a divorce and that he is just a roommate. I lived with my ‘roommate’ for a long time before splitting up. As well as saving extra of your own money for any future possible split.