I am 17M and my girlfriend is 17F and we have been dating for a while now, i really like her a lot but one thing stuck out to me, her past, she had slept with multiple men already and has been very sexual with guys (not while we’ve been dating). She once told me she’s a very sexual person, and shes also been a christian her whole life. I have been wondering how sex plays into this because I really want it with her and her comments on it make it seem like she wants it, comments like “i’m a very sexual person” and “i could never be celibate for 5 years”. But i’m confused with what to do, obviously wanting to have sex, but too nervous to initiate or ask her.
TL;DR I am lost with what my girlfriend wants sexually due to her beliefs despite her being a “sexual person” and having a sexual past.
Comments
Reddit won’t admit it but that is pretty weird for someone who is 17.
I’ve read this twice and have no idea what you are asking…..
Well I wouldn’t try to initiate without knowing if she has any stds or not
She’s rather young, despite popular opinion, so I’d guess that not all of her partners have been patient and there’s a chance she’s been assaulted in the past.
With that said you’ve gotta stop worrying. If you’re asking how to treat her then the answer is as best you can while being true to yourself
Are you a virgin? This matters here. If not, then disregard, and my apologies for making an assumption.
You are in your formative years right now. It concerns me that she brought up her christianity while also speaking of her promiscuity. It makes me feel that there’s likely a disconnect between the meaning and implications that sex has for each of you.
I’m telling you man, when you lose your virginity to someone, they become a part of you, especially when you have these kinds of feelings. But that’s the key – she won’t be losing her’s to you. It’s unlikely that you will ever be a part of her. She’s going to steal your heart, you’ll more likely than not break up, and it will damage you for many, many years. It’ll feel like a death in the family. I speak from experience.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d have waited for the right person and ignored my hormones. But that’s extremely hard to do at 17. If some random redditor told me to ditch her when I was 17 I would have disregarded it completely, no matter how factual or logical the point was. If I were 17, I’d most likely be searching for validation through confirmation bias.
Good luck man. I believe in you to make the decision that will derve your mind and heart best in the long run.
> multiple men
That’s really awful and sad. Not for her – but by definition, she was raped. She could not consent to that sex.
For now, I would recommend the two of you focus on just dating, without putting sex on the table. You’re still very young. If you do have sex, make sure you use two forms of birth control (like a condom and also the pill or an IUD), and be sure to both get tested for STIs at the beginning of the sexual relationship, just so you know your baseline status.
If you can’t have the conversation about STI testing and condoms then you are DEFINITELY not ready to have sex.
Good luck.