Hey y’all, I female in early 20s need some advice or just thoughts bc I’m stuck between being polite and protecting my peace.
So I recently hung out with this guy ( he is 10 years older ) he seemed cool, conversation was good, respectful, not pushy, just chill. He invited me over, and I went with the mindset of vibing, and that’s it.
He has cats (I told him I’m allergic so he put them away), and the only part of the house that was really clean was the bathroom. I overlooked that. But when things got intimate… why was it musty down there?! 😭 Like not full-blown funk, but enough to make me pause and not forget it. He never said anything I even stopped what I was doing & the vibes clearly changed. I’m not even a guy and I know basic hygiene, so I was caught OFF guard.
He smelled good otherwise, it just made me feel disrespected bc why invite someone over & not clean your space or yourself but have intentions on getting close. I didn’t say anything in the moment, but now I don’t even know if I want to respond or hang out again. He wasn’t mean or anything, but… I can’t un-smell it. 😩
I already texted him back politely (just said my allergies been bad), but now he’s being nice again and I don’t want to lead him on—but I also don’t wanna be rude or say “you were musty” because I don’t want to be rude but you know.
What would you do? Would you give him another chance and hope it was a one-time thing? Or leave it alone? How would you even communicate that if it came up again?
Comments
If you really like the guy you will have to bring it up and it’ll be awkward at best since I would bet he thinks all is good
Lol just went over to vibe and that’s it… surrrreeee
“I wanted to bring up something that has been on my mind. It made me feel disrespected that you invited me over and did not clean your space or yourself when you had intentions on getting close”
girl. what the fuck. have better standards for yourself. absolutely disrespectful to pull it out like that. your system would get all sorts of funked up if you let him in there. everyone knows you’re supposed to keep it clean and if he had a girl come over he should have absolutely taken care of that. absolutely call him out on that blantant disrespect.
Just text and be polite but honest. If it gets weird or he gets rude move on. Makes me wonder if he’s diabetic. Some people can smell high blood sugar on others (I cam didn’t realize what I smelled for decades). But just text with him and see how it goes. Better than ghosting. At least he can learn he had some funk.
Offer to get in the shower with him. It can’t hurt…
Why didn’t you clean his house for him? That’s what women do for men
If the only thing clean was the bathroom and he stunk there but nowhere else- that probably WAS him cleaning up for you.
Just tell him… you don’t have to be an asshole about it but just let him know. If he likes you he will fiz it
There’s a reason he’s a decade older than you and 1) available and 2) dating much younger. You can do better than some musty middle aged mess.
Drop him , drop da funk
You are just dating. He is gross. Move on. Don’t try to change someone. Find someone better.
Im used to farmers so yea sweaty doesnt faze me my bestie/situationship/whatever he calls us lmfao is kinda bad at hygiene but hes not dirty dirty and his smell turns me on, like even when he stuffed my face in his armpit didnt faze me. Then again im just weird.
Hygiene is already an issue, but it’s worse If he’s not cut(idk if he is, just something to keep in mind), but remember, you do NOT owe anyone anything, no matter how well they may think things are going, BOTH parties have to be down.
I had a girl tell me she didn’t want to be intimate because of a bad smell, and she was concerned about hygiene, which just ended up being my armpits(I sweat kinda bad, and I can only use very few products because of sensitive armpit skin)
I didn’t get mad, I didn’t get defensive, I understood there was an issue that needed solving, and she wasn’t obligated to be intimate with me, no matter how flirty or friendly she’d been, it’s totally a person’s right to change their mind, no matter what the reason, but it should be totally understandable for someone to not want to be with you because they don’t think you’re clean, and if he has an issue with that, you should just forget about him
If that was his first impression D, I can’t imagine how bad comfortable relationship D would smell. Hell nah
All guys commenting on this post want to see a pic of the girl…just sayin