My roommate asked to borrow my car for the weekend to visit his family out of town. I said no because I’ve had issues before with people not returning it with gas or on time. He got upset and said I’m being selfish since he’s never asked for anything big before. I told him I just don’t feel comfortable with it, and now he’s giving me the cold shoulder. We’ve lived together for two years and usually get along fine. AITA for setting this boundary?
AITA for refusing to lend my car to my roommate?
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA. Don’t cave on this. Tell him you just don’t lend your car. Ever. Hard stop. If he’s a brat about it, so what? You don’t live just to please him.
NTA. I’ve worked in insurance for 20 years. I don’t lend my car out because I’m afraid to have it returned with damage or someone who isn’t covered on my insurance gets into an accident and I’m the one with the loss. I’d offer a ride to the bus or train station.. but I would not lend my car out.
Nope, if you wouldn’t trust that person with 10k of your money, don’t trust them with your car either. He can rent a car for 60$ a day for this trip of his.
He wants to borrow a car? Please. NTA. If he isn’t even normally driving around how exactly is this visiting going to work? It takes time to actually maneuver a new car and get used to it. He definitely doesn’t even know the places with speed limits. He would definitely get a ticket at some point. And he didn’t offer some sort of compensation in case some damages happen. Like a $$$ deposit in case he screws up.
NTA and it’s not like in these 2 years he is dependent on you and you only to visit his family. I doubt there is even some event. He was going to see some side chick around the corner and say the car is his.
No. That’s a big ask. A car is not like borrowing money. Lending a car is a huge legal and financial risk. You should really know more about it before you lend out your car.
You remain responsible for everywhere he goes with it and everything he does with it, even “out of town.” You don’t know who will be in it, or how carefully he will drive it, if he will let any one else drive it, if he or anyone else will use any substances before or while in it, or put anything illegal into your car. All of that comes back on you as the car owner who gave permission, even if you were nowhere around.
NTA He’s not on your insurance and cars are too important to be lending out even if insurance wasn’t a thing.
That’s a bold request. An errand is one thing. A weekend trip is a hard ask. Living car free means you need to pony up the money to rent one when you need it, not mooch off others and put their transportation at risk.
NTA. They’re not on your insurance and if they crash the car, neither of your insurance will cover it.
NTA. Don’t lend your car to anyone. He’s not on your insurance, he’s not making car payments, he may or may not keep it clean or keep gas in it, and if he gets in an accident, you’re the one who is out of a vehicle while it’s being repaired and paying the deductible.
It’s not community property, it’s your personal vehicle.
Never lend your car to anyone except your spouse/partner or kids. And only if they are named on the insurance. Its generally your most expensive possession to replace outside of a house.
Excuse me. Why does he get to ask for something big? He acts like he has a right to ask for it because he has been saving up his big ask? Doesn’t work that way. Why do people think they have a right to other people’s things?
He’ll, no. I never lend my car. I am literally the only person who has ever driven it, and the only person who will, as long as I own it. He’s entitled and way overstepping.
NTA. I barely let my family borrow my car. No one else gets it. Cite not being on your insurance if you’re uncomfortable with a straight no. However, I highly recommend just saying no.
-no
-hell no
-fuck no
-hell to the fuck no. What’s wrong with you?
Take your pick.
He didn’t ask for anything big before because he a ROOMMATE.
Not your bf or gf.
NTA
Never loan your car to anyone.
Tell him go rent a car. The fk.
If a friend asked to use it to goto the store or pick someone up for the airport. Ok maybe.
Fking go out of town? Yeah no.
That is a HUGE ask! Your car, YOUR responsibility…any accident, which could be more than you have coverage for (you cannot control his passengers or if he ensures not going over seating capacity, not to mention, the possibility of also having to replace said vehicle.
NO is an acceptable response. Also, why can’t HE rent a vehicle for the weekend?
Nta Tell him to rent one. But feel no guilt
FUCK NO roomie wouldn’t be borrowing my car if I were in your shoes. You’re not being selfish, you’re being a responsible human being. He’s probably not listed on your insurance. He probably doesn’t have the money to repair or replace it if he wraps it around a tree etc and even if he did, good luck getting him to pay up for damage caused.
definitely NTA but he’s being one for calling you selfish.
Curious, why doesn’t he have a car?
Turo, a rental car company, etc. No one should ever lend friends or family their cars !
NTA. Never let anyone who isn’t explicitly listed on the insurance drive your car or you get to be liable if they get into an accident.
NTA, and a huge red flag here is the guilt trip reaction from roommate when told “no”.
A normal reaction is to say “OK thanks anyway”. You don’t owe your roommate ANYTHING besides the usual courtesies between roommates with regards to shared spaces, supplies and providing your portion of expenses on time.
Absolutely not. Never loan out your car.
NEVER let anyone use your car. If they get in an accident, you’re the one holding the bag and without a car.
Always, always, ALWAYS think in terms of risk vs reward when lending things
Tell them to Uber, they will get over it.
Thats a big ask. No problem with him asking but what gets my goat up is he’s then getting narky about gettinga no. Time for a new roommate!
NTA. He is not on your insurance.
NTA. He might be your roommate but it’s YOUR car. And if you’re not comfortable with him borrowing it, then you’re not in the wrong.
Never lend your car! It’s too important to all aspects of your life and as you pointed out, people don’t return it on time, don’t put in gas, and can wreck it.
I have never loaned my car to a friend and would not be willing to do so. The only people to whom we’ve learned a car is our own kids when they come to visit.
Don’t lend out your car. Tell your roommate that this is a ‘rule’ you follow because of your insurance. If he gives you the cold shoulder – too bad. You need to protect yourself first.
No one drives my car but me. Point blank period. NTA.
I offered my truck to someone to go skiing in my province. He kept it for 2 weeks. Ghosted me. Returned it with accident damage and an empty gas tank.
“My insurance does not cover other drivers, so I can not lend my car. I’m sure you understand.”
NTA, he’ll get over it or he won’t. You do t have to lend him your car.
NTA
He’s not on the insurance, and if he can’t afford his own car, there’s no way he has money to cover a wreck.
NTA – he can go rent one. You would be taking on all liability for his actions in your car. If he gets in an accident he will get the ticket and fine, but you’ll be liable for EVERYONE! Your insurance will get impacted.
NTA. No one is entitled to your property. Plain and simple.
Also, “No” is a complete sentence. No need to justify why.
NTA. Will your insurance even cover him if he gets into an accident? If you don’t know, it’s a hard stop.
Heck NO, please don’t lend your car to people especially when they can’t afford to pay for damages. Tell him you have every right to be selfish because it’s your car. Tell him to rent a car because yours is NOT an option.
NTA
Why isn’t he renting a car? If he’s too young to rent, his family should help him out.
It’s not your responsibility to loan your car so they can drive around for free.
No, that’s a big responsibility. If anything happens, it’s your insurance, your $$, and what if something came up and you needed it. Is your friend a party person? , quiet, very respectful, right now he seems childish.
NTA. And “no” is a complete sentence that doesn’t need explanation.
He’s not on your insurance means he doesn’t get to drive your car. And no, you don’t owe anyone anything.
“I’ve never asked for anything big before!”
“That’s because you know better.”
NTA if you are not a bot, YTA if you are.
NTA
NTA.
He’s not on your insurance, nor will you be adding him to it. If he gets in an accident, YOU will be the one paying
NTA. What if he has an accident? Gets arrested? Ruin’s your upholstery?
If he doesn’t like it. He can buy his own car.
He is not covered under your insurance
I would only lend my car to an intimate partner. Not a friend.
Nope,
Never, ever loan your car to anyone. Most likely, your insurance wouldn’t cover it if there was an accident, and even in the unlikely event they did, you’d still be out the deductible, not to mention what if someone else’s property is damaged or someone gets hurt or injured? You would be liable.
Hard NO. You are liable if he is in a collision or injures someone.
NTA. Here is the thing. More and more insurance
Companies are doing this thing called “at fault accident permissive use”. Meaning you let someone borrow your car, they cause an accident, they get the at fault on their record but you get the at fault permissive use on your insurance record. So they ding you for allowing someone else to drive your car. Also. If the roommate is involved in an accident. At fault or
Not. Insurance is going to ask you if they live with you? Yes? They force place them on your insurance because they obviously drive your car. Now you can exclude them if your state allows but it’s still a hassle. Not to
Mention your deductible. They should cover it but will
They? So much can happen from a simple yes to this request. A no is always better.
If he doedn’t have auto insurance on himself, he won’t be insured on your car!!
I have a strict rule never to let anyone drive my car. Ever. I always say my insurance only covers me driving it. It’s the only car I have. If anything were to happen I’d be screwed.
I’d be considerably more concerned about him getting into an accident and not being on your insurance. Then you would both not have a vehicle. If he can’t afford a rental for 2 days he has no business going out of town. NTA but there are far better reasons. Now start telling everyone no for the above stated reason. Any friend who can’t accept that is a friend you can stand to lose
nope. NTA, and his is TA for trying to guilt you into it. i can guarantee you he wouldn’t volunteer any money towards fixing it if he wrecked it or something else went wrong.
My insurance policy doesn’t cover other drivers
It’s a great reason to not lend your car
NTA
Drop them off at the bus station
Jeez.
You’re 💯 NTA.
It’s was some brass neck to even ask.
Tell bro to go to a car rental company already.
INFO: WHY CAN’T HE RENT A CAR?
NTA don’t let anyone borrow your car. What if he wrecks it?
NEVER EVER lend your car to anybody! YOU will be responsible for anything bad that happens. Red light ticket. Small fender bender. They hit & kill someone. IT’S ON YOU. It could ruin your future! DO NOT LET ANYONE DRIVE YOUR OUR CAR. And don’t apologize for saying no. F them for being so entitled to ask.
NTA. He will destroy your car. Do not let him borrow it.
So friendship’s about baggin’ favors.
Why is it always the one that doesn’t want to lend car, give away money, baby sit nephews and nieces, visit estranged relatives, cancel plans etc the selfish one’s??
NTA, tell him to just rent a car. Prob can’t bc he lost his license or something like that. and why can’t he buy his own car?
I’d say no simply because my insurance isn’t covering someone who isn’t me. Gas and such is secondary. They get in a wreck, and I’m on the hook, even if that hook is just replacing my rig.
NTA
NTA. But if you want to be a good roomie, offer to drive him to a car rental place 😄
Edit: fuck that. Do you know for a certainty that his license is up to date and valid? If not, your insurance company will decline to pay for any damage or injury.
Don’t do it. Your car is possibly your biggest financial asset. Do t put it in someone else’s hands
Never understood how people can even asked to borrow someone else’s car. Like thats a big ask.
Only people I’m even considering doing that for is immediate family. Period.
What were you suppose to do without a car for the entire weekend?
NTAH
Lyft or Uber. Lending expensive, valuable items – bad idea.
Just say , sorry no. You don’t need a reason. It’s not on you
NTA. Your car. Your liability. Your insurance. Your issues to deal with if he wrecks it.
There are other services (they are called car rental companies) as well as private party rentals he can use.
Nope! I did this when I was younger and always had severe anxiety about it. Now that I’m older, helllllll noooooo you’re not getting my car!
I think people have a lot of nerve asking to borrow your car. Can he pay your deductible if he gets in an accident? As in…show me the money in the bank, pay it??? Can he afford to replace your car if it’s damaged? Even with insurance there are expensive costs that are incurred, if there was an accident; is he able to pay those costs?? I’m guessing no since he doesn’t have his own car. If he needs a car he can rent one or buy one; it is never a good idea to loan your car to anyone – ehh, maybe your parents…and that’s only a maybe.
NTA and fuck no to the roommate. Asking to go to the store is one thing. Asking for the whole weekend is just trying to cheap out on renting a car.
“thou shalt not covet thy roommate’s car”
NTA
the fact that he lives with you might create problems with your insurance should he have a crash. If he’s not a “named driver,” the insurance might not cover it.
Lots of us have insurance that covers incidental drivers, so if we loan it to our visiting cousin, we aren’t worried about coverage. But when someone lives with you, insurance companies want you to name them and pay for them. Because they can easily be more than incidental, and insurance doesn’t want to take your word for it.
It’s a really BIG thing to loan someone a car!
If they aren’t on your insurance, they don’t drive your car. End of story. If they want to start paying to be on your insurance, (100% full coverage insurance too) then they can ask to borrow the car.
Why can’t they rent a car?
Rent a car… that’s actually a thing!
NTA. Tell roommate that car rental agencies have good weekend rates.
If your mate is under 25, your insurance company will not cover it if he’s in an accident. So he would be driving uninsured.. but other than that I still wouldn’t besides you be without wheels for the weekend. Ntah
Ah yes. Let me give you my car so I can be stuck at home all weekend.
Plenty of rental options. Or a bus.
You lend the car, it gets damaged… guess who pays for it? Not the broke roommate.
Offer to take him to the bus station.
NTA. Is your roommate insured to drive your car? Because if not, and there is an accident, you will not get paid for your car.
NTA. Borrowing someone else’s car is a BIG ask.
I live on my families property, when I’m vehicle less I either Uber or catch a ride from my dad, step mom, brother, daughter or sister in law, but mostly uber and usually when my cars being fixed, my brother works for the military. And home maybe 5-10% of the year and not one person thinks to let me borrow it for the day while my cars at the shop. It’s old (my car) and needs regular care to keep running… but guess what I’m a fucking adult and honestly I usually Uber because I don’t want to put anyone out or “figure” out who’s home that can take me to pick my car up, hell we have renters that could give me a ride, they are like family , I could possibly ask my daughter (27) who just recently moved in with me and my boy (17), but to expect someone to just loan them your car?!? First there’s a insurance aspect, they ain’t f-ing covered, second a responsibility aspect, if they total your car, are they going to be able to instantly replace it? Remember the first problem, insurance isn’t going to replace it either, even if they were surprisingly covered… then what happens if your without a vehicle now, can you still work?, get to work?, afford a new vehicle?, because even if insurance covers an accident frankly you’ll be lucky for a decent down payment on a new vehicle even if the one lost was fully paid for… so the answer is no, you are not an asshole for protecting yourself, sure you may not need the vehicle (who the hell borrows a vehicle leaving a person stranded without a mode of transportation for more then an errand or an afternoon) but you do need it and leaving it on empty would be the least of my concerns to be honest…
NTA. It’s your car, you decide who you can lend it to
Ask your roommate if you can borrow his girlfriend. And if he says no, spout the same nonsense he told you.
No. Not at all. Tell him Uber and Lyft is available as well as a plane. Never let people drive your car unless you are married to them.
NTA. A car isn’t a hair brush. He’s not on your insurance and he’s not making a car payment, he doesn’t drive your car.
NTA
Never lend out anything you can’t afford to replace immediately to anybody. Never trust the people you lend those things out to, If you lend something to someone they must sign a contract that they are responsible for all damages, no matter how small that are incurred while the item is in their possession. Course you can add other things in there like gas or pain the insurance or the car payment or whatever maybe but I’m going to circle back to my beginning statement Neverland anything you can’t afford to replace immediately to anybody.
If roommate can’t afford to replace your vehicle in total if something were to happen to it then he shouldn’t be asking to begin with. And if he can afford it then he needs to buy his own car
He could rent a car, borrow from others, or take a bus. If he jacks up your car can you make him pay to fix it? No. Let him be mad. You don’t owe him your car.
NTA. My mom worked for an auto insurance and always told me NEVER let anyone borrow your car. PERIOD!!
Never let anyone borrow your vehicle. I learned this the hard way so that you don’t have to. NTA.
I borrowed my roommate’s car back in the day (1981) before there were plastic shields everywhere. I ran over a very small tree branch, which got up in the engine compartment and caused the serpentine belt to come off the pulleys.
Not so bad in the end, but there was some stress in the meantime.
Tough shit
NTA, he not on your insurance and you can’t afford repairs, replacement or the medical bills if he get into an accident. He can rent a car.
You have every right to say no. There is no obligation to loan your car to anyone. Tell him to stop being so entitled. He can go rent one
NTA. I would only lend my car to a family member in a tight spot, and even then only if they had a car to lend to me. Example: my sibling and I lived in the same town and used the same mechanic. When one needed a car because the others car was in the shop for a few days we’d work out to either borrow the car and or switch cars around at the mechanic’s. Like when my car was done he’d leave his car off. We both took on risk and both benefited. But a roommate who doesn’t have his own car. No.
I would never lend my car to anyone, unless it was an extreme emergency.
Btw, if someone gets into a bad accident,
the owner of the car would be held liable should someone sue.
NTA, most ppl can’t be trusted with your car and they’ll leave you SOL if something happens
NTA. Don’t lend your car to anyone who is not on your insurance!
Chances are he’s not insured to drive it as not every policy allows you to drive another car – some only cover third party so if your car is damaged then he can’t can’t claim on his insurance for repairs. Not worth it.
NTA if he wreaks it then your out the car and higher insurance
I lent my car to a friend who needed to run some errands and he totaled it. He was ruled at fault. Only saving thing for me was having GAP insurance, but I still had to buy another car.
Why can’t your roommate rent a car?
GTFOH..
Bro can rent a pick up from home depot
Nope. It’s your stuff. You’re under no obligation to loan it out, simply because you’re not using it. Life doesn’t work that way. Otherwise, I’d be living in people’s vacation homes, instead of my own. 🙂
Loaning out your car comes at a substantial risk to you.
NTA. He is not entitled to your car. Period. You don’t owe him that.
nta that’s a pretty big all
Renting a car is not that expensive, not to mention that your insurance may not cover your roommate and if you only have liability, you’re shit out of luck.
“Everything’s fine until they get into an accident and suddenly it’s YOUR fault for letting them borrow your car and you’re still shit out of luck!
If your roommate continues the passive-aggressive bullshit, start looking for another roommate.
I would say no and then when people argue I sometimes say that my parents pay the insurance so I can’t loan out my car. Sometimes it keeps the peace rather than continuing an argument with someone who didn’t accept no the first time.
A lot of people aren’t respectful of someone else’s property and also in my state I’ll get in trouble for whatever happens in my car even if I’m not driving. Not worth the risk. NTA
NTA
If he’s not on your insurance and has none of his own and gets into an accident, you are shit up a creak without a paddle heading towards rapids with a hole in your cardboard boat….
Don’t say no – people get offended when you say no.
Say yes, but with a condition that makes the other person say no.
For this one you will need a cash bond – the amount of which is the value of the car.
If the car is worth $10,000 then you need a $10,000 cash bond.
NTA. My Dad always told me never let anyone drive your car.
Hide your keys
NTA. So what if he thinks you’re selfish.
NTA!! If protecting yourself makes you selfish then so be it. Who knows what kind of damage could occur. It’s a huge risk.
They could have rented a car.
Don’t do it. My roommate asked me once ( I had just bought a new car). I said NO. She got pissy about and called me materialistic and selfish. I told her, “You bet your ass I am.” I worked hard for that car, and I was not going to allow someone who isn’t paying for it, the gas, or the insurance to drive it.
Plus, the dummy had her own car.
I’m decades beyond lending stuff out. Car, tools, (retired carpenter), anything. Too often things are returned damaged, if returned at all, especially tools. People act like they’ve done you a favor by keeping a $300 circular saw for six months, you have to perform a manhunt to get it back, and it looks like it’s been dragged 20 miles down a gravel road. End of rant.
NTA unless you can afford to replace the vehicle without financial hardship.
It’s a matter of insurance.
Just NO.
Not the AH. I’ve had people borrow my car and break things and even crash and now my insurance rates are high. Your car is yours. Don’t lend it out.
Make sure you keep your keys with you in your room. Years ago we had a housemate that would take our cars out after we had gone to bed to visit his girlfriend. He had a habit of not replacing the fuel and also of reving the absolute fuck out of the cars and going from 1st gear straight to 4th gear. When we started riding they keys he got really hostile and used the money we were giving him for rent and utilities on taxis to go see her instead of paying the bills. I dunno why he thought that would work once everything was in his name and it just him into even more shit. We ended up moving out not long after because the electric got turned off because he hadn’t paid it in 3 months and then expected us to pay for it to be pit back on.
NTA. I wouldn’t let my own sister borrow my car. I dont trust other people. I let my brother practice for his drivers test and is came back with the bumper scratched. He didn’t have enough room away from the curb. Since then I only let my parents borrow my car because I know if something happens they have the money to fix it
NTA. He’s the selfish one. The audacity to make such a huge request that would significantly inconvenience you, and then be cold about it. There are at least 2 insurance issues in play. And he should just rent a car!
NTA. It’s not like he’s asking to borrow a book—it’s a car! If he has an accident then you’re liable. He can rent one instead.
Tell him your insurance doesn’t cover drivers not listed but also explain that you don’t make loans for items valid over $50 and that guilt-tripping and manipulation are the work of entitled people. He is not entitled to your vehicle, no matter if it’s the first or the last time he asked.
You could be in a world of trouble if he takes your vehicle. Will he pay for it in a crash?
Don’t frickin cave. Absolutely not. I don’t lend my car to anyone. Stuff happens
Tell him to FUCK OFF. If he can’t afford his own car he certainly cannot afford repairs if he wrecks it.
Would he “lend “ you $20,000 for the weekend?
No, didn’t think so…
How dare you be selfish with something that belongs to you? NTA. Him calling you selfish for not doing him a favor is the dumbest thing I’ve heard today. A car is very, very expensive, and unless he has the money to buy you another one, then he shouldn’t be borrowing it. That’s why there are rental cars.
You’re NTA. It’s your car to do with as you please. Your roomy sounds kinda entitled tbh.
Boundaries. He’s pushing the envelope. Stick to your guns, it’s out of the question. Where is his car, how does he normally get around. It’s not your job to make sure he has a ride. Tell him you are roommates, and you want to keep it a good relationship by not lending things out like your car.
Are they on the insurance? If not NEVER!
On what planet do you need an excuse to refuse an unreasonable request?
tell him to rent a fricking car!
NTA I would never lend my car to someone. I depend highly on my car for life and work. If ANYTHING happened I would not be able to just go out and get as new one. So I wouldn’t lend it for that simple fact.
I’m not saying he’s irresponsible, I’m saying accidents happen.
Semi-AH. You’ve been roommates for 2 years and no red flags.
Absolutely not. NTA. My ex tried to guilt ne into letting him drive my car after he totaled his. Nope nope nope. Stand your ground.
NTA. The use of a car is a huge ask.
It’s not like lending a book or something, but either way, I stopped lending anything out years ago because I either don’t get it back, or if I do, it’s damaged beyond repair.
Your friend can take a bus or rent a car.
Nope.. if anything happens to the car is he going to cover repairs or replace it.
NTA
NTA
Your Insurance won’t cover him. It’s YOUR car and if you think it’s awkward now…wait until he messes something up and doesn’t fix it.
Nope.
Never be afraid to be ‘selfish’ with people that ask for absurd favors. You could end up without a car and a shrugging roommate if you give in.
My ex begged me to use my car for something similar, I stressed about no smoking since I just bought it and was my first new car ever at that time. I got it back filled with food trash stains on the seat ash all over the dash and a burn hole in the back seat. She denied smoking in it and I couldn’t win the argument anyways without getting a headache. Banned her from ever using it again. Turned out she used it to go cheat with her new man. Cause when I revoked her use all of a sudden side piece gave up his car to her so she could come visit him 😏 . So now everyone’s banned from borrowing anything 😆