Hi everybody. I’m here to get some very much needed advice since I can’t really ask anyone else I know.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. Our whole entire relationship his bestfriend has been there as well. This has never really bothered me until recently since I consider him a pretty close friend of mine too.
It started a couple of weeks ago when my boyfriend came back from a trip and first thing he decided to do sleepover with him and hang out with him the day after. I was pretty hurt because I hadn’t seen him for over a week and I was expecting him to hang out with me.
Then my boyfriend’s family came to visit. He told me he had only been with them, but later, I found out from his best friend that he was there with them too. When I confronted my boyfriend as to why he cut the part out that his bestfriend had been there and why I didn’t get an invite, he said that he had “forgotten to mention him” and that he “assumed I wouldn’t have liked going.”
What put the cherry on top was when I found out earlier tonight that my boyfriend took his bestfriend out for dinner. I didn’t get an invite, just a simple “here at cheesecake having dinner with bestfriend”.
When I invite my boyfriend to come over or simple stuff like that he always asks if his bestfriend can come too. I never really cared since I always got along with him too, but now I’m putting the pieces together and I’m getting a bit uncomfortable. Is this normal?? Am I reading too much into things?? I just need someone to tell me if I’m crazy or not lol
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He’s gay
Take the hint..
he’s prob struggling with his sexuality
but he’s also not being good to you so let him go and find someone who appreciates you fully🤍✨
Not crazy. This isn’t a normal guy relationship. Can’t speak for if they are gay or bi or not as only they would know that. But this isn’t how best friends act
Oh damn…
I just want to say you’re not crazy at all for feeling the way you do. Anyone in your position would feel hurt or confused, especially when their boyfriend keeps choosing to spend time with someone else, even after being apart for a while. It’s totally fair to want alone time with your partner and to feel included in important moments. If he’s always with his best friend and leaving you out or not being upfront, that’s a red flag. At this point, it might be worth setting some boundaries, not to be controlling but to protect your emotional well-being. And honestly, if he seems to enjoy spending most of his time with his best friend, maybe he needs to take a step back and really think about what and who he’s prioritizing. It’s not fair for you to be in a relationship where you feel like a second choice. You deserve someone who chooses you without hesitation and makes sure you feel secure and valued in the relationship.
No. You need to find a new boyfriend. He prefers the company of his best friend over you.
UpdateMe
Sorry but he is in a relationship with his best friend and you are the camouflage.
Oh honey… That’s his boyfriend.
I would not worry, it’s perfectly normal, I too have a best friend who I spend loads of time with, we go to dinner, we have sleep overs, cinema, family outings… they are always around, OMG I think I’m in love with them!!! Dam sorry, I think your boyfriend is 100% gay!..
Youre not overreacting. You guys are still very young and even though youve been together for 3 years, you both still have much to learn about what it means to be in a relationship. I was once that guy who made more time for my coworkers than my high school sweetheart gf and I had some changes to make. That was several years ago and we are now married and just had our first baby so here’s my advice:
With how much they hang out together and the fact that his best friend attended a family party, im assuming theyve been friends for a long time. And that’s great! Having a friend like that is special and he should definitely hold onto that kind of friendship, especially as you guys enter this weird transitional stage of your lives (adulthood, college, working, growing up in general, etc).
However, your bf has to understand that he has to make compromises. He is in a committed relationship with YOU, not his best friend. He doesn’t have to stop hanging out with his best friend, but right now it seems like his best friend takes priority over you. That’s not okay.
Sit down with your bf, have an open and honest conversation on what you BOTH need out of the relationship. Compromise is key, it’s how you both get what you want/need out of your relationship. Odds are if he see’s the relationship going the distance, he’ll be more than willing to make changes for the sake of both of your happiness. If not, well then he values his relationship with his best friend more than you. Either way, you’ll find out what you need by having that conversation. Best of luck to you!
The only people who can answer your questions are your boyfriend and his friend.
You need to tell your boyfriend that you are not willing to continue being second best. You are only 19. You can do far better for yourself than to stay with someone who always puts his friend as his number one priority.
Lots of people here are suggesting that they are in a relationship with each other and I can see why they are saying this. But I’m not sure that I agree.
Your boyfriend is very invested in his friendship with his best friend. His best friend is the one who told you that he was included in the family visit when you weren’t, and your boyfriend then said that he thought you wouldn’t enjoy it.
I have a feeling that the best friend is in love with your boyfriend and is inserting himself into your relationship in order to split you up, thinking that your boyfriend will turn to him. I don’t think it’s mutual. I even think that the best friend recommended not inviting you to the family meal just so that he could be the one to tell you that he went.
Invite your boyfriend over and tell him that it’s just him who is invited, not his friend. Tell him that his friend is the one who told you about being invited out with his family instead of you.
Then tell him that you are not interested in having a relationship with someone who constantly puts you in second place.
You should also tell him about your post here. Tell him that most of the people who read it think that they are in a romantic relationship and you are their cover.
I think your boyfriend is either burying his head in the sand about his friend’s feelings for him or he is totally aware and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
There’s also the chance that they are in a relationship and I am completely wrong.