I don’t know how to start this. Me and this woman are sort of in a relationship. We knew each other beforehand, but nothing sexual happened.
We didn’t talk for a little due to unrelated circumstances. Neither of which was our fault. We began talking again and seeing each other.
Things escalated in the relationship, and now she’s pregnant. She already has 2 kids. My plan was to join the U.S Army within the next few months. I don’t know what to do or where to start. I was raised by a single mother so I’m not the least bit aware of where to start or what to think right now. Any advice regarding what to do as far as my future goes or things I need to know would help greatly.
Comments
you’re cooked twin 💔
This is a huge situation and way too much for you to figure out alone. Talk to a lawyer and a recruiter asap before making any big choices, your future depends on being smart now.
She could be seeing others and thinks it’d be easy to pin it on you.
If it is yours, ask her what she plans to do with it. She may decide to terminate the pregnancy because having a kid with an 18yr old is going to be a tough life for her, you, and the baby.
Only thing you can do is communicate. Unfortunately, this was the consequence of unprotected sex.
You may want to get a vasectomy going forward until you’re absolutely certain you’re ready to have kids if you plan on going raw.
Im sorry you had to learn this way that you can’t trust people at their word. Everyone has an agenda.
Are you two open about the possibility of getting an abortion?
I mean.. fck little dude.. you got yourself in this mess, time to be a grown up and get yourself out. I dont see many outs for you tho.
Join the army, she’s old enough to take care of things while you establish your life. First thing is to get a DNA done.
Join the army and never look back, also don’t be silly wrap the Willy next time
I think it’s worth having a conversation with her. I don’t think it should necessarily stop you from enlisting. Just be sure you support your child. Because the child didn’t ask for this. But the mom in me is a little upset with this situation. I wouldn’t want some 35 year old preying on my child. You mentioned you knew her for a while. In my opinion it sounds like grooming and that’s not okay. Yes you’re an adult now but that’s besides the point. Whatever you decide , best of luck to you young man.
Join the army so you’ll be able to support your kid. Don’t let this stop you from starting your life.
Won’t be the only Pvt. paying child support
Check whether it’s yours or not tbh he might be trying to fool you but if it’s yours and she gives birth to it don’t abandon it
She’s a predator. No 35 year old would sleep with an 18 year old child. She’s fucking disgusting. I’m so sorry dude.
There’s many things in your life that you can do to fuck it up but at the end of the day you can always recover and take minor steps into securing your future…. Having a kid usually isn’t one of them. The moment you bring a child into this world 100% of your time needs to be spent making that child happy and having a secured future. I say needs but it’s not like you’ll be struck with a bolt of lightning if you don’t. That’s just the expectation that I have as a child that wasn’t raised by his parents. If I ever had a kid they’d get my 100% they didn’t ask to be born. You have a somewhat good position since she’s 35 and has experience with children. But the age gap is extremely embarrassing mainly on her part. You can just claim you were taken advantage of. Talk with her about it and the expectations you have for one another assuming she chooses to give birth.
From there you can decide whether you want to focus on bettering your life before your apart of the child’s life, you can consider adoption, etc…
She groomed you
She’s practically a child molester. Let her deal with it.
Start with a DNA test.
She knew you before you turned 18??
Only one. Don’t f up again. Jimmy caps my boy.. Jimmy Caps!! Say it with me
Is no one going to question why a 35f is messing around with an 18m? Straight up predatory
So in what grade was she your teacher?
If you haven’t done so already, you should communicate your feelings to your friend. Let her know what your plans are, etc.
i am so sorry but you are a victim of grooming & i would say she’s a pdfile
i’m sorry OP. you’re a victim here, she is grooming you.
a 35 year old sleeping with a teenager? she’s clearly crazy. do you know with 100% certainty that she’s actually pregnant? and that it’s yours?
Reddit is the last place I would turn to for solid advice in this kind of situation. Go seek help irl somewhere not in a digital format.
Still join the military. If the kid is yours the military will automatically withdraw for child support. Don’t give up your long term future for a short term solution.
You need to be smarter about who you’re fcking raw. Though , this lady is a weirdo. I’m 24 and wouldn’t even look at an 18 year old in that way. She already has two kids and who wants to be a step dad at 18. Convince her to get an abortion.
It’s not yours without a DNA test. Everything else is up to her.
Paternity test before anything.
Get a DNA test. You don’t know for sure it is yours.
Strongly consider putting baby up for adoption or abortion. No single mother of two should have another baby in an unstable environment.
Shame on her, if she had a relationship with you before you were having sex with her and your only 18 🤔 then what type of relationship or boundaries was she having with you as an adult mother and woman and not supporting qnd respecting you in your enlisting in service. She’s suppose to be the mature one right she has kids already. Make sure you get a DNA test , if you both decide to keep still enlist in service don’t stop your goals it will something to be able to support for you child if its even yours 🙄. I am sorry but she’s disgusting, and I hope this is a lesson for you. Wear condoms. Be safe.
Is she keeping the baby? And get a DNA test if yes.
Welcome to 18+ kid. And I mean KID!
You’re what I like to call “fucked”
What does a 35 year old even want with an 18 year old. She’s a predator. I’m 26, and wouldn’t even talk to someone who’s 18.
Step 1: Start at the doctor getting a DNA. Step 2: depends on Step 1.
She’s a predator that trapped you. Get a paternity test and do what you have to financially for the child, but otherwise, stay away from that loser.
One get a dna test done then decide
tell her to get rid of the baby
Please be careful here, OP. A person of 35 dating an 18 year old really sets off my alarms. She knows a lot more about the world experientially at this point and I don’t like the way you met or when you met. Please talk to a trusted adult and get their honest opinion. And: 1) DNA test and 2) consult an attorney right away.
First thing, have a DNA test done to confirm it’s yours. If it can only be done after birth, don’t commit to anything and don’t sign the birth certificate!
Kinda hard to show empathy or be sympathetic when a condom could have prevented this. Clearly you were thinking with your dick and not your brain.
It’s clips twin 😭😭🙏
You should join the Army right now. Like tomorrow. Not a joke.
A 35 year old woman shouldn’t even be looking your way.. this is sad and disgusting tbh.
If she wants.child support, she will have you served with papers.
It’s the age for me. This is wrong. I’m a 35 year old woman and I wouldn’t even dream of being with an 18 year old. She’s gross
Tell her to abort. U are still a kid. U really should have been smarter, both of u. Shame on her too.
You were a vixtim of grooming. Go to the army, get a DNA test and if you truly wanna do what’s right for this kid dowb tge road become capable of taking it from her legally. She’s not to be trusted with kids
I would ask if she would terminate the pregnancy because you don’t have the ability to provide for a child and it wasn’t either of your intention to provide for one. The child likely would not have a very fun or happy / financially stable up bringing unless she’s a sugar mommy
How old were you when she conceived? Sounds like she groomed you and is now trying to trap you! This is terrible and I’m so sorry that you become victim to her. Join the army! Or better yet the Air Force! Do not let this hold you back from starting your life! Don’t sign the birth certificate and don’t get a paternity test without being sure what you want! I would personally tell her you are not ready! Is she married? Or single? Asking because the fact she preyed on you! I don’t trust anything about her or this situation you are in! Question everything!
Dude you either wrap that shit or at 35 she should know better.
The good news is she should be established and k ow how to raise a kid right. So you got that going for you
You’re cooked my guy
Odds are, she’s lying, she’s not pregnant at all. Second possibility, someone else knocked her up, and she’s pinning it on you because it’s obvious you’re an easy mark. Thank goodness for DNA testing. It can be done before the baby is born. Get a lawyer. Demand a DNA test NOW. See what happens. The little “problem” might disappear. If there really is a baby, and it really is yours, continue with your plans for your life, join the military, let them dock your pay for court awarded child support.
Are you absolutely positive she is pregnant she isn’t trying to stop you from joining the military?
Are you sure she isn’t faking it and gonna get you to let your guard down so she can actually get pregnant?
move to mexico, you’re fucked bud
Consider an abortion.
Consider making sure the child is yours if it’s going to be kept. (Who knows what she was doing)
You’re about to become real familiar with having an abortion if you don’t want to screw up your life, her life and that unborn fetus’s future as a human being. Congrats. You wanna fix things. Get an abortion before the dumb mistake of two nincompoop adults becomes the snow ball effect of someone’s life. JESUS ISN’T GOING TO FIX YOUR MISTAKES, YOU HAVE TO
for perspective, when you were born, she was 17 years old
My man, think carefully about what you decide to do next. This is your life and your money we are talking about.
Was the sex worth it.
First this is getting a paternity test as soon as you can.
35 year old with a 18 year old she has to be mentally stunted
Get a lawyer and make sure before you sign anything you get an DNA test.
She obviously tried to trap you dude. Join the Army as you planned. Everything else can be worked out later.
She trapped another!
Get a DNA test, you can still join the army. You don’t have to be with her unless you want to, but she kinda like groomed you.
You’ve been groomed home boy
Get some advice from some trusted adults in your life. Start with your mom, uncle, mentor, pastor/priest, etc.
This doesn’t need to end your life. But you need some advice on how to move forward.
Groomed to doom
Assuming you finished inside her you made a bad choice together. You might as well stick with your plan to join the army. It will give you good enough benefits for your child and baby momma. I think you were taken advantage of due to the age difference but that doesn’t save you from the fact that you’re a father unless it isn’t yours.
Get a paternity test and lawyer up is the only advice anyone can give you right now
I would get a lawyer and if you have any communication from her from before you were 18 turn in it to the police and get out of paying for child support.
Yep you’re cooked for sure.
Shoulda wrapped it up
Having a child at 18 is dumb.
Having a child at 18 with a 35 year old women is dumb.
And we should probably call balls and strikes here: she is 35. 3.5. If the roles were reversed, everyone would be upset.
This relationship shouldn’t exist and you shouldn’t have the kid.
Get a paternity test, beyond that the kid is the most Important. Don’t abandon a child that’s yours, it’s not fair to him.
If you join the military you can get a good start on your education and you will have good health care that you can add your baby to it. Ya you messed up. she is a woman who was looking for something. She is playing some game and you played with her. Make sure you get a paternity test don’t sign any paper work saying your claiming the child until. If it’s yours then that’s. 18 years of child support. You’re way too young to have a child when you as a man don’t have a clue. Time to start using your brain not your head.
This is the best thing to do. Better than when ur 50 and worth millions. roll with it ma boy
I bet she locked her ankles behind you, huh? You never stood a chance with that age gap.
Demand a paternity test my young brother. If it comes back positive, your life is going to change.
I understand wanting to get on with your life, but if it’s yours, you can’t abandon the child. It will mess them up for life..
Now if it’s not yours, then you should never speak to that woman again and live your life.
I wish you the best of luck.
Thought this was an ama…
Im 37 and the thought of even entertaining a 18 year old is gross as fuck to me. You where definitely taken advantage of. Tell your parents enlist anyway, get a DNA test
Sucks to suck 😂
2 kids? Now she’s going to have 4.
Good luck.
Encourage her to get an abortion.
She preyed on you. You can say you’re not ready to be a father.
You can go to Army and get your education/career.
Talk to an atty- free consultation.
Tell your parents- Is she married?
Okay, first things first. Do not sign anything or put your name on the birth certificate. Ask for a paternity test before you agree to anything. A 35 year old who thinks having a relationship with an 18 year old is okay does not strike me as having the best character.
You can still join the army. Talk to a recruiter and make them aware of the situation. You’re not the first 18 year old guy to get a girl pregnant right before joining. Recruiters have seen all this and more before.
If the paternity test comes back as positive, you’ve got a big choice to make. Do you want to be in this child’s life. This is something you can’t half-arse. Either be a dad or leave the mom to raise them and only provide mandated support. Don’t be the sometimes there sometimes not dad that gets the kid’s hopes up and breaks them. If you don’t want a kid, leave it so they can have an actual father figure in their life. Think hard on this. You don’t have to marry this woman, or live with her, or anything. But if you accept this kid, you need to make them a priority in your life. Even if you stay in the military. You go on a break, you spend it with your kid. You call your kid. Remember birthdays and soccer games and dance recitals. Know what their favorite show is and what foods they like and what they want to be when they grow up. This is something that’s really hard to fix if you change your mind about it, so think long and hard about what this kid is going to mean.
If you want to walk away and just pay child support, be aware that the kid may come looking for answers someday and there may be a hard discussion. But it’s your legal right to make that decision and you have to think of your future too.
Test !
r/predaddit
Join the Army.
Well step one is staple a fucking condom onto your dick you regard.
Step 2 DNA test.
Joining the army will suck for her for a bit but it’s how you set yourself up long term don’t throw that away
Answers here are interesting..
Reverse the genders and everyone would accuse a man that age of grooming you…
I feel this woman took advantage of you. Does she know about your military plans? Does she have her own money? Does she live off child support of her baby daddy?
A 35 year old woman being this stupid and getting pregnant? Especially by an 18 year old? wtf she on?
Get a DNA test. Do not tell your recruiter anything, at least not until that test. After, decide what you will do
A large percentage of abortions are done by women that already have kids. I would have a discussion with her about what she wants to do.
I would still join the Army. And if you do get married have who ever sign a prenup. If she won’t sign then don’t marry her. I had a platoon Sargent that had to give up part of his retirement to his ex wife because he didn’t a pre nup.
Edit: tell her you are really 17. 🤷
I don’t think it’s yours, I think she realises how easily manipulated and influenced you are at your very young age and she’s trying to pass it off as yours because the real father wants nothing to do with her and she can trick you into giving up your life and/or stealing your benefits when you join the services. Before you make any further life choices you need to ensure this baby is actually yours. If she’s a 35 yo (who already has children so is aware how they’re made) sleeping with an 18 yo (you’re probably closer in age to her kids than you are to her) – and unprotected – she is definitely NOT a good person and I wouldn’t put anything past her. I’m 40, the idea of sleeping with an 18yo makes me want to vomit. She is setting you up. She should be in jail. Is she even definitely pregnant? She’s not right in the head and you’d be best off distancing yourself even if there is a baby and it’s yours. Further, you say you were raised by a single mom and you still put yourself in this situation… I wouldn’t want someone as immature as you helping me raise a baby even if it was yours, you’re not grown up enough yet.
Bro, for your sake at 18 and whole life ahead, she needs to be take an abortion.
You aint going to be funding her other 2 kids which are another man’s children.
You are 18 and impressionable. She is 35. I would say she trapped you in this. Maybe even groomed you.
Single mothers with 2 kids are generslly desperate. Having a young man paying for things solves her problem but you now have 99 problems.
With her, your career and life options are limited.
A one night stand does not need to end this way.
Don’t take responsibility for such a thing too seriously. Think for yourself.
Always find a younger woman.
Don’t pay for a product near its expiry date.
first – abortion – easy.
second – dont join the army
Lol bro you basically got stat raped and it’s going to cost you hundreds of thousands. What a world. Don’t ask retards on Reddit. If you have any friends talk to them.
Congrats on the sex
Now she has 2 kids
Hope you enjoyed your 5 seconds of freedom.
Join the Army
Paternity test.
Consider abortion.
Take care of yourself.
If the child is yours, take care of them.
Seriously question this woman’s motives and ethics.
Use more reliable birth control in the future.
Try to follow through with the army if you can sort out everything else.
Good luck to you.
Kid. Grown Women who fuck with children are crazy, and you don’t stick your dick in crazy. Idk tho, you stuck your dick in a 35 yo single mother of two without protection. Maybe you’re both insane and it’ll work out. No idea what else to tell you. Miscarriages are common enough and if she tryna keep it that’s your only out. Sucks. Good luck. Your luck would be better if you kept your dick out of crazy in the future.
Bro! You aren’t in a relationship with this woman, she is a whore. If this were reversed 35m and 18f shit would have hit the fan, such a double standard.
Bro you have my permission to GHOST. That woman is a predator and she’s on her own here. She knew the potential consequences and still did you dirty. You owe her nothing.
If she has other kids with different men, how do you know this pregnancy is from you? She seems shady
First of all, when did you turn 18?? This has been going on for awhile?
Is your name raff?
Time to think of a good name for your baby.
Just think, when you’re her age, your kid will be just about your age.
Dude did you not use a condom ?
Bro, that’s abuse if it was the other way around. Sign up to the army and dip. She’s already a single mom anyway
Join the army. Get a paternity test. Talk to a therapist to process how you were groomed. The woman is old enough to take care of this baby and her two other ones if she wants. She doesn’t need you right now. You need you.
Join the military. Don’t mention that you have a kid on the way. Add the kid as a dependent after you get through boot camp, and you will get a bump in pay that will be taken away (and more) by the mother if you are not married (at least the kid will have health insurance).
Honestly, your best option is that she doesn’t have the kid, whether through god’s will or other means. Learn from this!!
First step is getting a paternity test. If it’s yours be ready to give up a portion of that generous privates army salary.
She’s a grown ass adult w kids: this age gap is crazy
Oh dear. This is a mess. Did you all talk about how this is going to work? She wants to keep the child? Does she expect you to be in the child’s life beyond your financial obligation? How do you feel? Do you want to be in the child’s life? Does your mom know? Is she supportive?
I mean, you are technically an adult, but I can’t imagine what she was thinking. You all need counseling, separately and together
Make sure its yours, get a paternity test. If shes 35 going after 18 year old, I highly doubt you’re the only one she’s been sleeping with.
Before you give her abortion money, drive her to the clinic and swipe the card yourself.
Have the baby DNA tested. Women do funny things.
Your 18…. And she is 35, almost twice your age. I think some grooming and manipulation are at hand
tell her to abort if she can 💀.
Look at all the ghouls on here shouting “abortion is the easy answer”! Sacrificing children out of convenience is evil! You ever think about the fact that every one advocating for abortion, wasn’t aborted? 🤨
Bro you 18! She twice yo age she got this figured out you just go live yo life. What 35 year old vampiric woman using you for your youth, blood. And life. She just secured a bag for that child. Go serve this country and come back alive! Worry about that
Sounds like you were groomed and this woman just secured a check for the next 18 years. Go and live your life. When the baby comes do a paternity test and if you want sue for custody. She was wrong for entrapping you. This is terrible that she took advantage of you. Going forward be careful who you exchange body fluids with, once you do that a bond is created and anything can happen. You have a choice and choices have consequences. All the best to you!
She’s a predatory creep who should be reported. I’m so sorry she’s done this. What an AH.
Have her do a paternity test. She can have it via blood work before the baby is born. Do not commit to anything until you see results. Keep the recruiter out of it.
Don’t accept responsibility until you have a DNA test that proves you’re the father.
Do not tell your recruiter anything. You do not even know if this is your child. Ignore the situation with respect to the military. Go on with your life right now. If she decides to have the baby, in nine months, demand a blood test to see who is the father. It could easily not be you. Until then, continue with your military applications.