AITA for being mad when my parents left me at home for a concert

r/

My parents got tickets to a concert for free (from parent’s work) about a couple weeks ago they asked if me and my sister wanted to go. I had no interest in this artist but who couldn’t turn down a concert for free? I told them I’ll go. I have never been to a concert. Today was the day of the concert, I listened to the set list and told my friends how excited I was to go.

I M16 was waiting around and confused for like the past 3-4 hours waiting. Then I checked the house and couldn’t find them. I check their location and there at the concert facility. They didn’t even say bye or anything to me they just left. I am sitting typing this upset because I wanted to go see this artist.

I now sit with the concept of just being mad when they get home, however that is not me, I don’t “blow up” on people I have been called a good/nice person all my life. I don’t argue with people, it would be very odd of me to get mad now. I think it is my fault because I just didn’t talk about the concert with them after saying I’d go, as well as the fact that I don’t usually go out anymore (shopping, parties, etc). But I’m just upset because I was really looking forward to this.

I think for once I am going to express how I feel towards my parents though I think I will come off more than upset if I yell at them for once. (Growing up I never talked back; I just listen to them yell at me and move on, I would say I am a pretty easy child, I don’t do anything, I wake up, eat, do what they ask and do good in school)

I think writing this out has made me think that I would be the A-hole for getting mad at them when this was very preventable but how could I not be upset when I looked forward to this. I guess life moves on

EDIT:

It’s been 3 hours since I posted this, thanks for all the kind words. No, my parents are emotionally abusing me I think??(kidding) They are good people; I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them “you look like the smiling face emoji” – my friend. I don’t usually talk back to them because “what’s the point” but after a long talk with some friends I guess I will start expressing myself to my parents. I personally have been through some emotional stuff but only like once I had a serious conversation when I was a freshman in high school. This year I only talked to my school staff and not parents. At the end of the day it was just miscommunication, I’ll talk to my mom tomorrow she’s much more serious than my dad. I just can’t do it tonight I’m too emotional and drained.

I don’t know how to use reddit, so I don’t know to make a follow up post (if you can even do that) I guess I will start speaking up for myself in everyday life, I’ve just never thought about it. Not really open about home life to friends or staff because there’s always 2 sides to a story. I know you guys mean no harm to my parents, but it does change my view on how I view them. I guess it’s just a part of growing up, I’ll shut up, so you don’t have to hear me rant anymore.

Have a great day

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    My parents got tickets to a concert for free (from parent’s work) about a couple weeks ago they asked if me and my sister wanted to go. I had no interest in this artist but who couldn’t turn down a concert for free? I told them I’ll go. I have never been to a concert. Today was the day of the concert, I listened to the set list and told my friends how excited I was to go.

    I M16 was waiting around and confused for like the past 3-4 hours waiting. Then I checked the house and couldn’t find them. I check their location and there at the concert facility. They didn’t even say bye or anything to me they just left. I am sitting typing this upset because I wanted to go see this artist.

    I now sit with the concept of just being mad when they get home, however that is not me, I don’t “blow up” on people I have been called a good/nice person all my life. I don’t argue with people, it would be very odd of me to get mad now. I think it is my fault because I just didn’t talk about the concert with them after saying I’d go, as well as the fact that I don’t usually go out anymore (shopping, parties, etc). But I’m just upset because I was really looking forward to this.

    I think for once I am going to express how I feel towards my parents though I think I will come off more than upset if I yell at them for once. (Growing up I never talked back; I just listen to them yell at me and move on, I would say I am a pretty easy child, I don’t do anything, I wake up, eat, do what they ask and do good in school)

    I think writing this out has made me think that I would be the A-hole for getting mad at them when this was very preventable but how could I not be upset when I looked forward to this. I guess life moves on

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    > I think me deciding to be upset about this should be judged. I think me being mad at my parents makes me the asshole when I could’ve just talked to them the days before the concert.

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  3. Zazzog Avatar

    So they asked you to go, you said yes, and then took off without you? Uh yeah, NTA.

  4. nuggets256 Avatar

    ETA: NTA with additional info

    INFO where were you when they left?

  5. goagoagadgetgrebo Avatar

    Let them have a night out. Raising you sounds draining. Embrace their desire to be happy

  6. yellowjacket810 Avatar

    I’m 99% sure there is some pertinent info missing here. Almost nobody’s parents would deliberately and for no reason ghost them to go to a concert they were expected to join up for.

  7. Educational_Lion_241 Avatar

    Nta . You have every right to be upset, you shouldn’t have had to talk about the concert again if you told them you’d go . You can voice your feelings without yelling, just let them know you were really looking forward to it and disappointed they went without you . Good luck and #UpdateMe

  8. philautos Avatar

    You were invited. You said yes. You should have been included. Nothing you say gives any indication that you owed them reminders. Just because this was going to be unusual for you doesn’t mean you didn’t want to go: you said yes.

    If there was some reason they decided to exclude you, they should at the very least have told you.

    And unless you normally provide your own transportation even when going to the same place as them, if they wanted you to provide your own transportation, they should at least have told you.

    My suggestion would be to start by asking them why they left you out when they had invited you and you had accepted. Yelling is generally not a good idea.

    But YWNBTA if you calmly express your disappointment or even anger.

  9. keesouth Avatar

    This really feels like a miscommunication at this point. You should get more details before you decide what you need to say to them.

  10. mafiuselvi Avatar

    I don’t think yelling is going to work. But definitely talk to them about your feelings, try to be calm and show them that you’re hurt. I don’t believe they did it on purpose, just speak with them.

  11. Mentalcomposer Avatar

    NTA for being disappointed. They asked, you said you would go and were looking forward to it. Then they just- left you home.

    But the concert was today, was there no discussion about what time you were leaving, or what the plan was? Did you not see either of your parents all day? You guys need to chat some more.

    I would say something to them, not in a mad way, more like “ how was the concert”? And then “what happened to me coming with you, I was looking forward to it and I went to see where you guys were and you were already gone”.

  12. PhxFresh420 Avatar

    NTA but I think more communication was in order. I wouldn’t yell at your parents, but I would let your feelings be known. Just do it in a calm and collective manner, no one respects anyone that yells.

  13. Tunabiscuitcosmo83 Avatar

    Yes I’d be really disappointed, but that’s also terrible
    Communication. At no point before tonight was it
    Ever mentioned again? Not a “hey. Did you still want to go? We’re leaving at X time.” Or you asking when to plan to leave. Not one word about it even today? When you’re exited and it’s your first concert? This is so strange to me

  14. srgonzo75 Avatar

    NTA. You can tell your parents that you were excited to attend your first concert with them, understood that you’d be going with them, and it hurt that they either decided they didn’t want to go with you or forgot they were going to take you along. That’s not blowing up. That’s articulating your feelings.

  15. Beyond_The_Pale_61 Avatar

    Maybe your parents asked you about going and then could only get two tickets. I don’t know why they wouldn’t have shared that information with you though. I would certainly ask what happened before blowing up at them. Regardless of the reason, you should communicate with them calmly and let them know they hurt your feelings and not blow up at them. Be an adult about it and communicate. Yelling and throwing insults/accusations is never effective. “Mom, Dad, my feelings were hurt when you had asked if I wanted to go to the concert and you then left me with no warning or information. It made me feel …”, would be smart way to approach it.

  16. Cherry_clafoutis Avatar

    Having dealt with a similar situation with my teenager, I think this went down very differently from your parents point of view. You had zero no interest in the artist when they first offered and that would have come across loud and clear. You say you accepted but it actually came across as “meh, whatever”. They genuinely believed you didn’t have any real interest in going. You never mentioned the concert again or showed any interest, so they had no way of knowing you changed your mind. They figured since the teens didn’t want to go, they may as well go on a date together to the concert.

    NAH. Your disappointment is understandable but your parents did nothing wrong either. Next time, let your parents know you are excited 

  17. Mysterious-Tune-3216 Avatar

    NTA.

    They invited you, you said yes and then they ditched you without warning.

    Don’t be the usual good kid who takes whatever sh*t is flung your way. Kick up a fuss. Let your parents know just how hurt you are at the fact that they ditched you without warning. Because that is some sh*tty behaviour on their part.

    And did they even want you to come with them? Sounds like they invited you out of obligation because they were also taking your sister. It sounds rather intentional that they didn’t let you know that they were leaving for the concert. Even if they thought that you didn’t want to go, why not at least say goodbye to you as they left the house?
    And keep in mind that they’ll probably try and gaslight you into thinking that you were at fault for not being more ‘obvious’ about wanting to go to the concert.

  18. Free-Stranger1142 Avatar

    No need to yell. Just express how disappointed you were that they said they would take you, then just left without saying anything. You can say it hurt your feelings to be treated like that. You can also ask them why they would do that, holding them responsible.

  19. BointMyBenis2 Avatar

    NTA – You’re rightfully upset. I keep seeing you say they thought you might not be interested in going anymore. There is a saying about assume, which is makes an ass out of u and me. They shouldn’t have assumed that you didn’t want to go without talking to you. Don’t yell at them but be firm in letting them know your feelings.

  20. TheBostonCopSlide Avatar

    INFO: Did you talk to your parents about the concert at all, between when you first heard about it until today? Were there any plans about what time you’d be leaving or anything else like that? 

    I’d say you are NTA, but this is just so strange there must have been a miscommunication somewhere. I don’t think it’s your fault, but I wonder if you might have missed a question or discussion at some point which made your parents think you weren’t interested. 

  21. bookshelfie Avatar

    Nta. You were invited. You said yes….you should be at the concert.