I’m 18F and my dad (40M) has been cheating on my mom for years. Recently, my mom found out because I accidentally saw some messages on his phone and told her. When my dad found out, he flipped out and started acting really weird around me — barely talks to me, ignores me, and sometimes gets angry for no reason.
It’s been weeks and things are so tense at home. My parents are arguing nonstop and I’m stuck in the middle. My dad blames me for everything and says I ruined his life, but my mom says it’s not my fault. I feel guilty but also scared of how unpredictable he’s been acting.
I don’t know how to handle this. I’m worried it’s going to mess up my school and my mental health. I just want things to go back to normal but I don’t think that’s possible.
Any advice or support would really help. Thanks Reddit.
Comments
Your mom is correct and your dad is trying to place blame everywhere but himself. It sucks and there’s lots of blame to go around. When a marriage goes south often it’s one persons fault but that simplifies things. Your dad may not be 100% at fault for their marriage failing but he is 100% at fault for cheating. Anyways hopefully you can move out soon. Hopefully your parents can be civil long term.
It’s not your fault. Try to get support from someone you trust and take care of yourself. Talking to a counselor might help. You deserve peace.
This is 100% not your fault. Your father is gaslighting you. He is 100% the cause of his own life being ruined, this is called consequences. Your father is behaving like an immature twat. He is not taking responsibility for his own actions. This is not your fault, the truth always comes out and would have come out eventually. You have saved your mum extra time being lied to and having her time wasted. You did a good thing. Your dad is the AH here.
He is the one who ruined his life, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you don’t deserve the treatment you are getting. If you don’t feel safe at home right now or think the environment is affecting you negatively, are there any family or friends you could stay with until the dust settles. It sucks now but trust me things will get better one way or another ❤️
Well first off, if you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Your dad was doing something emotionally volatile and explosive in nature that could emotionally harm your mother deeply.
It’s not your fault.
“Don’t do anything in private that you don’t want known about in public”
Honestly, I think you need to ask to go to therapy, BUT don’t allow your parents to use that as fodder for fights like putting the blame on each other that you feel you should attend therapy.
Be very clear that you don’t want therapy BECAUSE of anyone in particular, or any action, just that you need to escape the fighting and you need to try finding a way forward for yourself.
Not your fault. He is an asshole and is taking his mistakes out on you.
none of this is your fault your dad’s choices are on him. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Try to lean on someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or counselor, and focus on taking care of yourself. You deserve peace and support right now. Stay strong.
If he wasn’t cheating there wouldn’t have been nothing to tell your mom. You see how that works. Don’t let dad or anybody else pour water on your head and tell you that it’s raining. This is all your dad’s fault. If you have a family member you can stay with would be helpful or you and your mom can move out because your dad doesn’t seem like the type of guy to do the decent thing and let you and your mom have the house and can go stay somewhere else.