I (22F) became friends with P (24M) and Q (22F) at the start of our university year. P and Q hit it off quickly and started a situationship, but they kept it secret from everyone — including me and their other friends/housemates.
Around the same time, I was getting close to P as friends. Nothing romantic, just good conversations and bonding. Eventually, P started sharing very personal things with me, and I started getting the feeling he might have a crush on me. I made it clear I had a boyfriend, and from then on, we drifted a bit.
Later on, P and I got close again, and I found out it was because he and Q had ended things. A few weeks later, I found out why: Q had cheated on P, but also, during their situationship, P would routinely compare me to Q — saying I had a better body, was hotter, and had a better personality. Obviously, Q was really hurt by that.
At some point after their breakup, P confessed he was still in love with me. I told him again that I have a boyfriend and nothing could or would ever happen.
Now, Q blames me for their relationship ending and hates me because P liked me the whole time. I’ve tried to stay out of it, and I never encouraged anything with P. I’ve never cheated or even flirted. But I honestly don’t care anymore that Q is upset with me — I didn’t do anything wrong.
AITA for not caring that Q blames me, even though I wasn’t involved and have a boyfriend?
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I (22F) became friends with P (24M) and Q (22F) at the start of our university year. P and Q hit it off quickly and started a situationship, but they kept it secret from everyone — including me and their other friends/housemates.
Around the same time, I was getting close to P as friends. Nothing romantic, just good conversations and bonding. Eventually, P started sharing very personal things with me, and I started getting the feeling he might have a crush on me. I made it clear I had a boyfriend, and from then on, we drifted a bit.
Later on, P and I got close again, and I found out it was because he and Q had ended things. A few weeks later, I found out why: Q had cheated on P, but also, during their situationship, P would routinely compare me to Q — saying I had a better body, was hotter, and had a better personality. Obviously, Q was really hurt by that.
At some point after their breakup, P confessed he was still in love with me. I told him again that I have a boyfriend and nothing could or would ever happen.
Now, Q blames me for their relationship ending and hates me because P liked me the whole time. I’ve tried to stay out of it, and I never encouraged anything with P. I’ve never cheated or even flirted. But I honestly don’t care anymore that Q is upset with me — I didn’t do anything wrong.
AITA for not caring that Q blames me, even though I wasn’t involved and have a boyfriend?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not caring that their relationship ended and making it clear i want no part of the drama
2. Everyone says its my fault for being friends with him and if i wasnt then they would still be together
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
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NTA
You literally weren’t involved. It’s that simple. He had a crush on you and it ruined his situationship? You did nothing to encourage it, and in fact actively discouraged him pursuing you. That P compares/contrasts Q and you? That’s very much a them problem.
Being friends with someone of the opposite gender is not an invitation for a romantic relationship. The people that claim “men and women can’t be friends without blah blah blah” are living in a past age with stupid gender norms that need to go away. You’re not at fault just because you were his friend.
Also, P is the problem. Not Q. Not you. P is the person that pursued you while in a situationship with Q, and on top of that compared/contrasted you and Q in a way that was not complimentary to Q to Q’s face??? This boy is fucking wild, yo. P deserves to be called P, because he’s a Problem.
Clear NTA. This is absolutely not your monkeys, not your circus. P&Q can both be happily ejected from your life.
P got that karma lol.
NTA – You literally did nothing wrong. In fact, you did nothing, full stop.
If I were you though, I would distance myself from P. Knowing he was comparing you (and your body😬) to his gf/fb to put her down gives big ick. I wouldn’t want any part of this or be anywhere near his next situationship.
NTA. It is Q’s responsibility to look at the situation and comprehend basic reality. If anything your response is virtuous. In your shoes I would be responding negatively to Q’s inappropriate attitude.
NTA. When someone keeps communicating that they aren’t actually interested in you, they’re just settling for you, any person with self-respect gets themself out of that situation. You certainly don’t keep yourself there and just keep taking it while they natter on about how they’d rather be doing someone else, unless you’ve got some kind of humiliation fetish. The object of their attraction certainly isn’t the right person to blame!
NTA although I have no clue why you would continue to interact with P after they confessed twice. That’s pretty disrespectful to your boyfriend. You should have shut that down and then cut it off if not the first time then certainly the second.
If she liked him so much why did she cheat
NTA! One cannot command their heart, and there was nothing you could`ve done. He liked you, not your friend. You did nothing wrong. Been there myself.