I’ve been working non stop since I finished high school. During my studies, I also worked a part time job. I paid for three years of college by myself, and then I landed a job that offered to pay for my fourth year, which I’m currently finishing. Throughout this time, I’ve been working a lot of hours, and honestly, I’ve felt drained for so long. I pay for all of my own things, my bills, my education, everything.
Recently, I was talking to my boyfriend about how much I need a vacation. I told him I want to travel in a month after I finish my studies because I desperately need a break to recharge. I also said I need to find someone to travel with because I really want this trip to happen.
When we were talking about it, he told me “don’t force anything.” I replied that I will force it because I really need it. After I said that, he called me spoiled and said traveling is a privilege for some people and that he hasn’t traveled in years.
It hurt me so much because I’ve been working so hard for years without any proper break. He knows I get depressed often from overworking, whether it’s my job or my final project. He knows how burned out and drained I’ve been feeling. I’m paying for this trip completely by myself. I’m not asking him or anyone for money. I just want to finally do something for myself.
Being called spoiled for wanting a vacation broke my heart. It feels like he doesn’t understand me at all. I don’t think wanting to rest after working so hard for so long is being spoiled. And just for context, my parents don’t travel at all because of money problems, and the last time I traveled was for 4 days in June last year.
P.S: I always go with him 50/50, and I always suggest to pay even if he sometimes refuses to take the money.
Does it really make me spoiled for wanting a break?
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Sounds like he’s jealous you plan to go without him so he’s lashing out.
do you pay half of the dates?
lol he’s jealous. any update on the sexuality front though? 👁️👁️
Get rid of him. He is petty and jealous of you. You did this all without his support, and IMO he will hold you back at every turn. You need to plan and book whatever trip you need to recharge your batteries. Good luck, and ”bon voyage “!
He’s jealous, you’re going to get called spoiled and worse names in future when he feels you’ve offended his male ego. Go on your vacation and enjoy .
Studies show you need regular holidays to recharge. It’s not spoiled; it’s self care.
After my studies I travelled solo for a couple of months in south-east asia which is really affordable. My partner came to visit me for 3 weeks. I spend most of my money on travelling (which is ofcourse a privilage), so I cannot imagine not going on holidays.
Do not let anyone tell you what to do. You have one life and this is the best period for travelling if you are healthy and have time. Your boyfriend can join or you should go by yourself. If you are a female, check the Facebook group Solo female traveller network for tips and inspiration.
Spoiled by who? Yourself? That’s simply working for what you want/need. You’ve put in the work, if this is what you feel you should do, absolutely do it. Not sure why he’s shitting on it, but it comes across as jealous or bitter. That’s a him problem.
Grammar check: If you’re spoiled, by definition someone is spoiling you, or you have been spoiled by someone. Don’t see that this is the case here.
Unfair to call you spoiled for sure.
Is he going with you a possibility at all? Or that travel partner would be somebody else?
I smell a combination of fear/jealousy and him being irked by your need to take long vacations to cope with the stresses of life. Whatever it is he expressed very poorly.
Your boyfriend is a hater. Mad cuz he can’t go, so he doesn’t want to see you go.
You are not selfish! He has his own issues and his reaction is his problem but it does tell you a lot. Is this the person you want in your corner? Because with support like this, who wants support.
Also, you could travel solo. I adore it! There’s a fantastic solo women’s travel group on Facebook and they are amazing at pumping people up and giving support if nervous and also for giving ideas when asked. It’s worth joining if you are thinking of going that route. I travelled solo for 3 1/2 months last year and I loved it!
I was in the same situation. I was on financial aid, and have been working since I was 16 to pay my way all the way through my masters program myself. My boyfriend at the time wasn’t a traveller. I have my own money, and he came to see me for a week and started lashing out on all of my friends that I had made in Europe and he was acting like a totally insecure jckss and I eventually had to break up with him because it went from being called spoiled to him constantly lashing out at me and then saying it’s my fault because he didn’t feel like I was satisfied with someone like him. In the end, I guess he was right because his anger took center stage over my needs and my well-earned break after having to work for years without support from my family and having to work twice as hard to afford different internships while I was studying!
TAKE YOUR BREAK.
LEAVE HIM FAR BEHIND.
He is all the things others have said, and also appears to be a miser. When has he — presumably a working adult— ever spoiled you, even a little? Where is his generosity of heart?
You’ve offered to pay for things entirely. Does he? Or is everything always 50/50?
You seem to understand how to work hard, save, and enjoy the fruit of your labor. Does he?
Sounds like you may be on your way to solo travel and a solo life.”, for a while at least.
Congrats on finishing your studies! That’s an awesome accomplishment and you should be SO proud of yourself
Take the trip. You deserve it and will end up regretting not taking on so many levels. Your bf sounds jealous of the experiences you’ll have and probably is feeling insecure. Don’t let him emotionally manipulate you, go and have an amazing time!!
You’re shit testing him and then you get mad when he reacts. Same old. Like wtfff
Question…why do you need someone to travel with to make this trip happen? Answer…you don’t.
You’re 24, will be a college grad, earn your own money. Sounds like a fairly grounded person to me.
My first solo trip was at your age, from California to London. It was so exhilarating. I had a few “to do” plans but left plenty of time to just wander/experience where I was.
Did what I wanted, ate what I wanted, when I wanted. Guess that’s a little spoiled but I earned it. So do you.
Your boyfriend is such a hating ass hag like. At your earliest convinience leave him because he sounds like he does not want you to be at ease.
Actually Spoil your self and dump him