I (38M) was dating a woman (37F) for a year. I’ve known her since we went to High School together. We lived together most of the time we were together and we broke up a month ago.
She had been married prior to being with me. After we were together she confessed that she cheated on her ex-husband years ago with a guy she bought pills from. I thanked her for being honest with me and we moved on.
Earlier this year I catch her talking to the guy she cheated with under a fake contact in her phone and deleting the texts. She claimed his name was under a fake contact to hide him from her ex-husband, not me. Also she swears that she was only trying to get pills from the guy, not to sleep with him. She says she would never cheat on me.
We didnt last much longer as a couple. I broke up with her. 8 days after I move out she’s talking and sleeping with this guy again and keeping it a secret. I find out about it and she admits to it now. She says she only got with him because I left and didnt or wouldn’t ever cheat on me.
Im never going back to this girl. For my sanity, would it be safe for me to assume that she cheated on me with this guy and never look back?
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Very safe to assume she did
Yep
Once a cheated, always a cheater. Of course she did. Either she cheated on you or just kept that guy on the back burner until there was a clear opening for them again. No matter what, she kept this guy around for a reason and that was to get dicked down. That’s cheating.
Get an STD test
A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.
She was sleeping with this guy long before you broke up. But she’s trying to gaslight you by saying “look, we wouldn’t conveniently be sleeping together 8 days if you didn’t break up with me”.
Never look back on this woman. She’ll one day be alone in her old age, with no husband and no kids, because she couldn’t stop cheating on multiple partners.
Meanwhile you still have plenty of time to find an amazing woman to start a family with.
Oh, and get tested for any STDs that she might’ve passed onto you.
Test for all STIs & HPV.
Good luck.
Can someone explain how someone can claim to be honest about past infidelity yet still keep a connection with the person they cheated on their ex with, only to use that same connection again when things get difficult in a new relationship? I mean, it’s not like you just forget those kinds of secrets… they’re always there, lurking, ready to come back if given half a chance.
she absolutely did cheat on you. For starters she had him still in her phone as a DIFFERENT contact name. that’s her still willing to keep him at arms distance. That to me is enough to be considered cheating even if it’s small. she never cared what she did to her ex husband her honesty to you was a reflection of how HER actions made HER feel.
if she cared about what she did to the ex husband and being a better person and getting into a new relationship, she would have removed this pill guy out of her phone. and that’s a whole other thing , be with someone who has better morals for themselves.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
Chhhheeeeaaaatttteeeerrrrrrrrr
Honestly if it helps you move on and never look back.
Then for certain, she cheated on you. No doubt in my mind. She had sex with other men while you guys were together. She might have even slept with him in yalls home. She cheated with the same guy before she even knew you. So chances are she would continue to cheat with him. Before you left she was already behaving extremely suspicious. Trust your gut and all of us internet strangers. You dodged a bullet, now take your second chance and new found freedom and live well LOL
P.S. She cheated, don’t go back