I need some advice on how to move on. Long story short, my wife and I have been together for seven years, married for two. We’ve been talking about wanting to start a family and have been working to pay down some old debts to be in a position to start trying. About six months ago, I got diagnosed with vestibular neuritis. It’s a neurological condition that affects balance and can reoccur later in life. I’m still a fully functioning adult, I have a job and I can drive and most people would never know that I had this, other than the fact that I will stumble when walking every once in a while.
Fast forward to yesterday and my wife takes me to the park where we had our wedding reception and an announce to me that she’s leaving me because she no longer sees me fit as a viable parent.
We very rarely ever argued or anything, I never raised my voice, and I was never abusive to her in any way. This is still very fresh and I’m just trying to get some advice on how I can really wrap my head around this. If I cheated on her, or was ever abusive, or anything, I could understand why she would want to leave. But she can’t really think I ever wanted this condition.
Any help is greatly appreciated because I’m really struggling right now
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This is a really unfortunate situation. All you can really do is consult a good divorce lawyer and prepare yourself for the breakup. You should also consider therapy to help you deal with this situation.
That sounds extremely tough and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, but at least she removed any doubt as to the kind of person she is and saved you potentially years more of time wasted with someone who has no intention of sticking by you in hard times.
I would suggest seeking some therapy to work through this because it’s not going to be easy and I think you will fare much better with professional support.
What she did was cold cowardly leaving when you needed her shows her weakness not yours. Grieve then rise stronger you deserve better than someone who quits.
Sounds to me like she just wanted an excuse to leave you. No way someone is leaving because of this illness.
I guess “in sickness and in health” clearly has no meaning to her. As someone who is sick themselves with a balance issue I would be beyond heartbroken especially considering this is the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. I’m sorry that you’re going through this and you don’t deserve it at all. I would suggest therapy and any other programs / professionals of the sort to try and help get you through this
You need to do some things and they are not that hard.
Tell the world, everyone you know, that you have the disease and that your wife left you because of the disease. Let the world see what kind of person she is. That way she will not be able to spin the narrative.
Never accept her back no matter what. Give her nothing. Never ever speak to her again.
Leave her with the debt.
There’s no way this is real. If it is, congratulations. She was a shitty person and you’re lucky to be rid of her. Huzzah!
She no longer sees you as a “viable parent”.
This is the person who is 100% going to get screwed over by life and actually will end up with a non-viable parent down the line.
This means she’s had some boxes to tick, from the beginning, and she was with you because you were ticking these boxes and not because she actually loved you.
This is a blessing in disguise, my friend 💖💖 mourn if you must, but you’ll be much much happier with a partner who actually cares about you 💖✨
And thank whoever God gave you this condition, because it opened your eyes! ✨
There is nothing that you did. She doesn’t want any of her children to have what you have. She is going to try to find someone that is disease free that will probably treat her like crap. Try to enjoy your life and realize that she never truly loved you as an individual.
It sounds like you hold no value to her other than being a parent. You deserve better.
She never loved or cared about you from the start she’s been living a lie just be glad she’s gone help her pack and kick her the hell out of your life there’s plenty of other women out there that you will meet and take care of each other like loving couples do. Her leaving now is a blessing in disguise before you got any more deeper emotionally and financially with her
This isn’t about that. She wasn’t in the game to begin with, imo. I’m so sorry.
Uhm.. I think she has found someone else 😅 / been cheating on you or something along those lines…. 🤨
Did you remind that Bitch about her vows? In SICKNESS and in health! And to take you where you had your wedding reception! Beyond cruel! I am so sorry you have to deal with this! The truth is you’re better off without her even though it doesn’t feel like it right now. Now you can find someone who really loves you to build a life with. Go have your best life!
This is insane!! That’s like leaving someone after a bout of vertigo. A friend of mine had Vestibular neuritis. It was caused by a viral infection, She underwent a decent amount of time having vestibular rehabilitation (like physio for the inner ear to help cope with the balance issue) it was years ago and she has never had a single issue since…. She’s also an absolutely wonderful parent to 3 grown children!
Look into the VRT for the stumbling… lots don’t even get told it’s available or helpful but it is.
Let that crazy woman go… she will find her karma partner no doubt!
She knows she broke her wedding vows right? It’s supposed to be in sickness and in health or did she not read that? Did she sign a document? A vow is a vow. There should be legal repercussions. I honestly think she should owe you a lot of money.
I’m sorry you’re going through this but this shows who she is not you. She obviously didn’t take in sickness and health seriously. Better to move on and not have to wait for her to leave again. Don’t fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for. She showed her true colors when you got sick believe that’s who she really is
The pain will be real for awhile. However, she is the person you married and the person who left you when you got sick. She is both, at the same time. When I framed my ex wives in all of their actions, it helped me move on. There are many women on this planet that will see your disability and choose to embrace you and it. That is a fact.
It may take time, that’s the hard part.
Egad. I’m sorry. It was certainly interesting that she chose to drive to the site of your reception to make this announcement. I’m inclined to agree with the person who said you dodged a bullet as well.
She never loved you, she loved what you brought to the table. For now, compartmentalize, get her out of your life as quickly & easily as you can. Then try deal with accepting what she is & eventually realise what a lucky escape you had. She is so morally lacking she would have left anyway at some point, cheating or if you gained weight or any petty, shallow reason.
Did she not hear the part in the vows about “in sickness and in health”?
Apparently not.
She used you to pay off debts.
Be thankful you aren’t tied to her with children. You can be a parent with this condition.
You deserve so much better. She will regret leaving, or maybe not because she is so selfish.
I wish you the best. Let her leave.
So she broke her promise to god as soon as sickness showed up. Some people are just trash.
But honestly, OP, if it makes you feel any better. I bet my life it wasn’t the only reason, just an excuse. I have a hard time seeing anyone that loves someone and is treated right by their partner just up and about like this. Especially when it’s not actually effecting you.
Ick; I can’t believe her; but she has shown her true colours. I’m positive not all women will treat you this way so time to forget about that not very nice ex and move on