My mom has custody of my little sister, and shes never been a good mom. Shes been on drugs my whole life, as well as my sisters whole life. Shes a very.. soft parent, and thats being generous. My sister started smoking weed at 9, talking to guys who where 16 when she was 12, and it gets progressively worse over the years. Ive always been strong on the side of not letting her do stuff like this and have mature conversations with her on why she cant. My mother has always gotten mad at me whenever ive tried to help with preventing stuff like this. My brother has also been on my side about all of this, i feel like any reasonable person was. My mom said that shes been letting my sister have guys over, unmonitored, door shut in her room, that are 15-17 ranged. I know this is not my sisters fault, as she is a child, and never had a dad growing up, or a good mom. I feel like this has to be child neglect. Shes not forced to go to school, she failed all of her classes last year. Recently, I saw a condom on her dresser when I was returning something I borrowed from her, I told my mom about it and literally does not care. What is there to do? Im worried shes going to end up seriously hurt by seeking out this validation from older guys and now obviously having sex now most likely. When i brought up the condom to my mom, she got upset with me for being in her room, and never addressed the condom. I need some serious help on this situation.
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It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy burden trying to protect your sister in an environment where she’s not getting the guidance or boundaries she needs… and it’s clear that her safety is at risk. Have you considered reaching out to local child protective services or a trusted family member who might be able to step in and provide the support she desperately needs?
You can report it to children’s aid. This is 100% child neglect and dangerous to your sister’s health. Are you and your brother adults now or also in your mom’s guardianship? Do you have any other family members who you trust? (Grandparent, aunt, other trusted adult).
Talk to a lawyer or CPS or something – some kind of legal help idk. Cause that’s just wrong.
This is child neglect, please talk to the authorities so she and your mother can get help and maybe even remove your sister from her care. Between drugs, sex and failing school all while only having turned 13 and some of this started years ago, your sister needs to be removed from that environment and get professional help, immediately
Where are you located, this may be considered child sexual abuse. A 17yr old with a 13yr old, which may add as proof of neglect since ur mom is allowing it and facilitating it.
Sex for your sister may not be illegal or neglect (depending on where you are) but allowing marijuana use is neglect and illegal.
This is 100000000% child neglect. You and your brother have a right to be concerned, and you definitely have a leg to stand on if you want to ever report anything to CPS (which I strongly encourage you to do that before it’s too late). Your sister is very lucky to have you in her life right now even if she doesn’t see it herself yet. Your mother needs someone to step in as she is incapable of being a mother, period.
You need to make some phone calls asap.
If your in the UK, its illegal. Someone aged 13 cannot consent and its rape. You can anonymously report to social services.
Call cps is about all you can do really
Get a lawyer and try to get guardianship but you would have to prove you have a stable living environment and way to provide for the child
In reality this might be a losing battle
Call child protective services.
I hate to be that person but you should probably have CPS involved. If you are an able adult it would be in be in her best interest to live with you or any other family member that is more responsible and caring of your sis. At this rate she could end up with a terrible disease, heavier drug addiction, pregnant, or dead.
You need to call CPS and if you’re old enough you should try and be guardian for your siblings. It’s a massive responsibility but none of you will gain anything good from living with an addict who gives kids that much freedom
I would boost her confidence and tell her that she’s worth the entire universe and more. Then take her to get on birth control.
How old are you and your brother ? Go scare the shit out of some teen boys and make them not want to touch her.
Call cps.
Get your sister on birth control, if nothing else. Teach her about safe sex.
Reading this breaks my heart. You should not be having to parent your siblings. I’m sorry. I get it, I’ve been there as the oldest of 3. And I understand this particular predicament as well.
You can’t prevent everything. But you can give her some tools to be safer.
You can make sure she has condoms and knows how to use them. You can educate her about STIs. You can talk about consent. You can encourage her in school. You can compliment things about her that aren’t her looks.
You know this is a psychological desire for attention and affection, right? She feels special and cool that these older guys (who are predators) are paying attention to her. She doesn’t have a lot of control over her life and this is something she can control. And maybe if she does something “bad enough” her mom will pay attention.
School is out so I don’t know if this is an option in summer or not—but I’d call her school counselor. And you could certainly call CPS anonymously and see what they say.
I’m really sorry.
Call CPS before she has std, is pregnant and is drug addict.
I would have the conversation with your sister about protecting herself. Give her the tools and knowledge to protect herself. Idk where u are but here kids can get on birth control without parents see what services are offered in your area. I took my sons gf and shes been on birth control for years.
Can someone enlighten me? I mean, what on earth is happening here?
This is why we have DFCS and CPS.
CALL IT IN!
You need to get your sister out of that environment however you can. You are the only real role model she has.
Please call CPS and get this child some help.
Can you take custody if your mom is always on drugs? If your sister smokes pot then that’s another reason you can use to gain custody.
Google reporting child neglect in your city and/or contact your sister’s school
Call CPS and the police. Your mom is committing criminal acts buying drugs for a minor.
Everyone here is on the right track in terms of bringing in some outside help, but this can be hard to identify specifically.
You don’t give your age, but if you’re an older teen, is there an adult in your life you fully trust you can talk to about this? The trust part is important, because you need to feel free to tell this person EVERYTHING. Sometimes there’s a tendency to hide or minimize the worst of it, but you can’t do that here.
Hopefully, this person will guide you on what to do next. If there isn’t anyone, call CPS. It will be scary, but it’s the right thing to do if you want to save your sister.
What county are you in? Are you and your brother adults where you are? Do you have aunts, uncles, grandparents who are caring and more “adult” than your mom?
Look up the laws as to both weed and sex ages, as well as what services are available and the kind of support they can provide for you and your sister. Your mom is not a responsible adult and is literally harming your sister.
First, you are going to need some emotional boundaries. You have to accept the things you cannot change or control no matter how outrageous. Aim for birth control. Try to get your mom to put your sister on birth control. The goal is going to be getting her to a more mature age without her having to face serious consequences so that she has the chance to make better decisions. You are not going to stop her from seeking validation from older guys or having sex with them by getting your mom to set some rules or by talking directly to your sister. CPS wouldn’t do you any good. Refrain from talking to your sister about her behaviors very much. Instead, talk about your views, opinions, behaviors and choices. Set a positive example. Try to help her find things she is good at and interested in so she sees value in herself.
Everyone is very quick to say involve the authorities. Please, please, calling CPS or any other sort of government agency is the last resort. I have dealt with CPS personally more than once. They often do not do what is in the best interest of the child.
One time CPS literally returned a friend of mine to their drug addict father who had skipped the country to avoid a mountain of legal trouble because “that was his only surviving family”. He had a LEGALLY ADOPTIVE MOTHER in town who simply decided it was too much work to take him in. She was legally his mother and had raised him since he was three and CPS did not care. He was 17 years old and explicitly did NOT want to be sent back to Belize. CPS did not care. A whole bunch of terrible shit happened to him and his 14 y/o sister overseas. CPS is the reason they were there at all.
I have had friends and boyfriends in the system. It is a horrible, horrible time. Kids are not listened to or considered when it comes to what they want and need. The amount of abuse and trauma they are subjected to is astronomical. Do not contact any sort of authorities about this unless you really feel you have no other options.
Spend time with her. Literally just hang out with her. Don’t try to talk down to her or chide her, just be a good influence in her life. She is in pain. She needs someone safe to be around and talk to, and that’s clearly not your mother. It’s definitely not all these guys.