i don’t know how to title this
my (18f) best friend (21m) and i have been close for almost 3 years now. when we first met, he told me he had feelings for me and we kinda were talking, but he never made it official. after he kissed me, he said he didn’t feel anything and wanted to be just friends. i took this hard, i had just gotten out of a 3 year long relationship and he made me feel safe and happy. i thought we would have been really good together. since the kiss, he’s been so off and on with me. sometimes he wants nothing to do with me, and then suddenly i’m everything to him and he wants to see me all the time. he’ll stay over and whatnot and that’s when i’m content and happy. recently, he fell asleep in my bed with his arm around my hip… he’s been calling me cute and when i was on vacation he said he missed me so much and just wanted me to come back home. i want to talk to him about this, i want clarification about “us” even though there is no “us”. i texted him yesterday saying we needed to have a conversation about something but it’s better to do it in person. i’m terrified to talk about stuff in person but i didn’t want it over text. how do i go about said conversation? i want to be friends with him still, but he constantly confuses me and i always end up hurt.
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You need to read the book, he isn’t into you. If he was, he would be. Move on.
The only advice I can give you here is meet him somewhere and talk to him about it if he dose have feeling for you and you want to try to date that is great but if he says he just wants to he friends maybe bring up all they things you put in the post and tell him not to do those things because it’s giving you mixed signals
Anyway I hope everything works out
Sadly you are his backup. He’s holding on to you while he searches for someone better. Are you ready to still be his friend when he starts dating somebody else?
Give an ultimatum. You’re tired of not knowing, make him decide whether you are or you aren’t. Honestly I would say you aren’t, but I don’t know enough
Sounds to me like you are a 2nd choice for him. You should distance yourself so you’re not stuck in a rut and can explore other options
He already told you…not gonna happen for him..you keep holding on to a pretend future no offense..now you complain about mixed signals when he told you he’s not into you like that..ignoring his words doesn’t sound very best friend to me..you rejected the last talk you had when he said not interested ..so are you gonna hear him this time?
I had the exact same problem with a girl over a shorter period of time (a couple of months). It drove me mad because she would only want to be friends but her actions (holding hands , stoking my leg with her leg, kissing, long stares etc.) told otherwise. She blocked me and unblocked me, kept me in the dark, confused but at the same time her body loved me. I started going down a very dark path where I’d physically hurt myself,cry for hours and talk to almost no one.
In the end I blocked her temporarily the time I can get myself together and she must of thought that I didn’t want anything to do with her so she blocked me. I unblocked her 3weeks later and to this day she hasn’t unblocked me.
Tbh I’m glad she hasn’t unblocked me. After a while I found joy again, I stopped hurting myself and just started living again. I closed this chapter in my life and in the end I’m glad I did.
In my opinion this dude is either just immature or he knows exactly what he’s doing. In any case he shouldn’t be a close friend nor anyone you should invest your time in. Basically keep him distant.
Lemme be honest here you’re gonna get hurt by his shenanigans the same way I got hurt by my girl’s shenanigans.
So best tell him to get his shit together once and for all or block him for good.
That is not how a best friend treats somone 😤
You’re a backup and also 21/18 is kind of weird. 15 and 18 is definitely weird. Get away from this and learn a lesson.
Be patient, wait, and listen. He will give u sudden clues to his feelings even if he doesn’t know it. Approch him calmly after he had a beer or 2 both of you sit face to face. This is to overcome fear and an impulse to run. Hold hands before you start slow. If he asks, tell him this is an exercise in awareness building. There are only 3 rules. 1) You must always tell the truth no matter what. 2) You must never let go during exercise or you ruin the exercise.. 3) If stuck, revert to rules 1 & 2.. by the end of it. You will have a clear path. You will both understand ech. other. 1). Thing more in order to end the game, both have to agree.
It works in amazing ways. Promotes health communication & understanding. I use it frequently. Best of luck and good wishes to you both. P.s. you hold both hands.lol lol