So I (F20) slept with a girl (F22) (let’s call her A) for the first time 7 months ago, we were really good friends at the time but after she stopped speaking to me because she thought I had feelings for her (I didn’t I just love and care for everyone around me) But this experience made me realise I was a lesbian.
I end up getting a new girlfriend (F20) and she is very inexperienced I was even her first kiss.
I made friends with A again right before my GF and I got together and I understand how A had misinterpreted things and why she reacted the way she did.
A and I are both autistic/adhd so we understand eachother and we don’t have to mask so the friendship is really valuable to me. We also have a lot in common! However we have absolutely no romantic feelings towards eachother.
My gf knows about it and she gets along and has a lot in common with A but I feel like she’s just uncomfortable with the A and I hanging out solo which I understand completely but I don’t want to distance myself from A. Im unsure what to do
Comments
Your GF’s feelings are valid here. Would you be chill if she hung out alone with her ex hookup?
It’s totally normal to stay friends after sleeping together but if your girlfriend feels uneasy you must set firm boundaries or risk losing her trust. Protect what matters or watch it slip away.
Staying friends with someone you slept with is a gamble that needs rules. Prove your love loud and clear or risk losing both.
It can be normal to stay friends with someone you’ve slept with especially if there’s clear communication, no romantic tension, and mutual respect. But your girlfriend’s feelings matter too. If she’s uncomfortable, try involving her more when you hang out with A and reassure her with honesty and transparency. Boundaries and trust are key. It’s all about balancing your current relationship with a friendship that’s important to you.
I’m friends with tons of people I’ve slept with. Many of the people I’ve slept with are friends with each other. It’s not abnormal at all.
But you do need to respect your gfs feelings. But I also understand the dynamics are entirely different in queer communities.
yeah, her being uncomfortable makes sense. most people wouldn’t love their partner hanging solo with someone they’ve slept with
It’s not ‘normal’ pre se. But it doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Anyone thinks it’s an exclusive no is just close minded.
Some people are ok with it, some are not. I personally address this before officially entering a relationship and break things off if he used to be sexually involved with any of his friends.
Yes, it is normal.