I’m(28F) a stay-at-home mom to a 10MO. My fiancé(28M) and I got engaged after we found out I was pregnant. Ever since our son was born, we’ve had nothing but issues—and while I know that’s normal and expected after having a baby, especially for the first time, I think what’s hardest for me is the resentment I’m holding onto.
I feel like I might as well be a single mom. I do literally everything for our baby. We’ve gone months without him changing a single diaper. Bath time? Bedtime? I can count the times he’s done those on my fingers. It’s almost like becoming a dad hasn’t changed him at all.
I do appreciate that he works hard to provide for us—but I can’t help feeling that I could provide for myself and my son while still doing everything I’m doing now. What keeps me here is that I don’t want to give up time with my son. The thought of splitting custody breaks my heart. I know our son wouldn’t be in danger, but I worry about things like: Will he be fed enough? Will he get diaper rash? Will he be clean? I know he would miss me, too.
Right now, the only plan I can think of is to just stick it out until our son is old enough to talk and be a little more independent, so he doesn’t have to rely on his dad as much when he’s away from me. In the meantime, I’m trying to focus on myself as much as I can.
Also, we aren’t having sex—maybe a few times since the baby was born—and honestly, I’ve only done it to please him. I don’t want to at all. Part of that is the resentment, but also because motherhood has been so hard, and my body just doesn’t want to do the thing that led me to this situation in the first place.
If you’ve been through this—how did you cope? How did you decide whether to stay or go? I’m really struggling.