I 22M have recently moved closer to my siblings. I have two sisters, one with three kids and the other with two. Before I officially moved, I had told my sisters that I am not a babysitter as I knew they would try to guilt trip me because I had been so far away from them for 5 years.
Picking them up from school and the occasional hang out at my place is fine with me, but I don’t want watching them to become a normal occasion as I have my own life and things to worry about.
Now, I love my nieces and nephews and when I was in high school would watch them from time to time. But now that I’m older I want to worry about my own life and not have to constantly be the family babysitter.
Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough as last weekend my sister let’s call her Ana and her husband wanted to go out with friends from work. So, she called me to babysit while they went out. I was particularly exhausted from work that night, so I declined because I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. Plus, I know this particular sister wouldn’t be home till 1 or 2 am. She has always loved to party and never wants it to end. What I was not expecting was one of the biggest arguments between Ana and me.
She called me selfish for not helping her out and claiming that I didn’t want to see her kids. I wasn’t exactly an angel myself in my response I won’t lie. She quickly involved my mom who told me that Ana would do the same for me and that I should just do it as it wouldn’t hurt me.
I was pretty annoyed at this point and reminded both of them that I said that I was not a babysitter before turning off my phone and going to bed. My mom and some of my friends still think I was overacting and one suggested that I take it here.
So, AITA for not watching my nieces even though I clearly told my sisters that I am not a babysitter? Should I have just toughed it out to avoid all this drama? At this point I don’t know.
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I 22M have recently moved closer to my siblings. I have two sisters, one with three kids and the other with two. Before I officially moved, I had told my sisters that I am not a babysitter as I knew they would try to guilt trip me because I had been so far away from them for 5 years.
Picking them up from school and the occasional hang out at my place is fine with me, but I don’t want watching them to become a normal occasion as I have my own life and things to worry about.
Now, I love my nieces and nephews and when I was in high school would watch them from time to time. But now that I’m older I want to worry about my own life and not have to constantly be the family babysitter.
Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough as last weekend my sister let’s call her Ana and her husband wanted to go out with friends from work. So, she called me to babysit while they went out. I was particularly exhausted from work that night, so I declined because I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. Plus, I know this particular sister wouldn’t be home till 1 or 2 am. She has always loved to party and never wants it to end. What I was not expecting was one of the biggest arguments between Ana and me.
She called me selfish for not helping her out and claiming that I didn’t want to see her kids. I wasn’t exactly an angel myself in my response I won’t lie. She quickly involved my mom who told me that Ana would do the same for me and that I should just do it as it wouldn’t hurt me.
I was pretty annoyed at this point and reminded both of them that I said that I was not a babysitter before turning off my phone and going to bed. My mom and some of my friends still think I was overacting and one suggested that I take it here.
So, AITA for not watching my nieces even though I clearly told my sisters that I am not a babysitter? Should I have just toughed it out to avoid all this drama? At this point I don’t know.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action I took was declining to babysit for my sister.
2. What might make me the asshole is by not babysitting my sister thinks I don’t want to see her kids and I might have been overreacting.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>. I wasn’t exactly an angel myself in my response I won’t lie.
Well, what exactly was your response? That could certainly make you an asshole in the situation.
NTA siblings are like that, they see their brother and sisters as free babysitters and cause a big fight if you set reasonable boundaries, this happened to me all the time as I had so much “free time” while she was stuck with her kids and involved our parents, in the end I would usually cave in for an easy life
OMG, they didn’t even ask you ahead of time? NTA for refusing to babysit and turning off the phone. Why should you have to deal with constant calls and texts disturbring your sleep? However, I’m not sure if what you said would make you one.
Based off of this NTA, you have your own life, a full time job, and don’t necessarily “owe it” to your sister.. However, what you said in your response could change things a bit.
omg NTA these posts are so ridiculous. This was not an emergency. You are under no obligation to babysit anyone’s kids EVER. No is a complete sentence. Stop discussing it. If anyone brings it up walk away or hang up.
You are NTA.
I don’t know why your sister and your mother think you have some obligation to provide babysitting service to your sister. You simply do not. Those are not your children and your sister should have regular sitters she can call since you have been away.
How far away does your mother live? Too far to babysit?
In the future, do not discuss the issue with anyone. Tell your sister No and let that be the end of it.
And let’s remember that she called you because she wanted to go out for the night. This would be quite different if there were a serious medical emergency and she needed help with the kids.
NTA. You don’t owe anybody anything. Parents are NOT entitled to free help with the children they alone chose to have.