I’m currently finishing my diploma thesis in my home country in Europe. Back in May, my boyfriend (now fiancé) proposed to me during our trip to the USA. We’ve been together for over four years, and our relationship is very important to me. However, I would like to try working abroad since i have the resourses to do so. It’s something I’ve considered since I started my degree, but I hesitated because I didn’t have anyone to go with. When I first brought up the idea to my fiancé, he was completely against it. In fact, he even said he would break up with me if I went. Since then, we’ve talked about it more, and he seems to understand it’s an huge opportunity for me, but he still doesn’t support it. Whenever I try to bring up the topic now, he shuts it down and says I’ve “ruined the day” or makes me feel guilty for even considering it. Now, I’ve been offered a 6-month work and study program in Australia starting next year. I’ll probably go alone, although I’m trying to convince my dorm roommate to join me. This is a much bigger step than anything we’ve discussed before. He was only ever (somewhat) open to me working abroad in the USA for a short 2–3 month period. I haven’t told him about this yet because I know he’s going to be very upset. At the same time, I can’t help but feel that I need to prioritize my own growth and future right now. We’re in a long-term relationship, and he’s really looking forward to us finally living together full-time after I leave the dorm. But I feel torn between starting our life together and doing something that could shape my career and independence in a big way. He can’t come with me because of his university and job. I’m planning to go next year, so we would still have some time to be together before then. Still, I’m scared that this decision might damage or even end our relationship.
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It doesn’t sound like you are ready for the next step in your relationship, which is understandable. You’ve never gotten to be an adult without having a partner. You need to be honest with yourself and make the best choices for yourself not for the both of you.
You’re young. I hate to say it but you will find someone else who gives you butterflies and is more understanding than he is. Regret in later life for not living your life or taking that chance is a MF.
I had this exact situation when I was your age: he didn’t want me to go because he was jealous and controlling, but he was the one who ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart.
Definitely go, OP: a mature relationship would decide survive a 6 months trip, so if he tries to stop you from going you should ask yourself why he does that, and if he actually respects you.
These opportunities do not come again. Take it and don’t look back! Live your life for you!
Go.
I could write out a million reasons but you need to go.