TL;DR GF wants to move in when we agreed to keep things casual.
I’ve been seeing someone for about 8 months now. We’ve had a nice, casual relationship without much turbulence over that time. We met right after she got divorced. She told me upfront she wasn’t looking to settle down anytime soon but was open to seeing someone casually. I thought she was sweet and cute so I figured why not, it could be fun to have a companion I gel with for awhile until each of us wants to start looking for something serious.
A couple days ago, she brought up the idea of moving in along with her daughters who are in junior high. She claimed she wanted them in a better school system. The town I live in does have a good public school system compared to her and living on the beach has made her be a regular at my place with all these hot, sunny days.
This caught me way off guard because I thought we had a pretty good understanding that we’d enjoy traveling together, going on fun dates, enjoying lazy beach days at my place, etc. but not moving in anytime soon. In this scenario I’d be becoming a stepdad too if her kids were to move in because the Dad doesn’t even see them every weekend. Do I just break things off assuming that she might be too far gone? I can’t imagine telling her I just want to keep things casual will work after she’s taken a big leap like this. Came out of left field completely.
Comments
You say no, she’s trying to use you financially and she’s ignoring your boundaries. If she moves in, common law status might make you owe her child support at some point…she seems really desperate and it’s endangering her children to be willing to move in with a casual partner so quickly.
Frankly, I wouldn’t even risk being intimate with her again, she seems like she’d try something like baby trapping you. This woman is unstable and full of red flags, I’d end it and block her
Uh, by saying no? Why do you even have to ask this?
Try telling her what you want and see what she says.
She’s taking advantage of you. And trust me, any form of step parenting is the most thankless job you’ll ever do.
End the relationship
You say you’re not ready for all that and that’s that.
Tell her what you’ve been telling us, that you thought you were staying casual and taking things more slowly and you’re really not at a place where you’re looking for someone to move in.