Lately my husband has been sending text messages to a female coworker. He said nothing’s going on but when I see the messages it seemed too much. For example, he would say “we’re more connected than we ever know before” when their horoscope matched. Or he would say “you’re very appreciative and I love that about you”. He even said goodnight one time. He also sent money for her friend who’s having a baby. I’m not the jealous type but since we’re married I expect a conversation before giving money to someone. Also I would never have this type of conversation to a male coworker even if I consider him as a friend. I don’t know if I’m getting too emotional about it or he’s being inappropriate and getting out of bounds.
Caring Too Much?
r/Advice
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He’s being inappropriate and out of bounds. Trust your gut.
This will not end well
I would put a end to that friendship. Tell him how you feel.
You’re not too emotional, he’s gaslighting you.
First red flag is people who believe in horoscopes. Everything else is wildly inappropriate also. Find a new husband.
He’s having an emotional affair. You have to put a stop to this. He knows it’s inappropriate. It’s flirty and the next step is “something” (sex) is going on. This stops, or he moves out. You’re under reacting and he’s deluding himself if he truly believes this is innocent. If it’s not a text he’d send to a male coworker it is 100% out of line.
Shared partnership requires shared decisions. He sent money to a random person without discussing means he knows it was wrong. He will answer this with “I didn’t think it would be a big deal, what I do with my money is my decision…” blah blah blah = gaslighting. As for the conversations with this woman this is emotional cheating, again he will turn it around on you and your insecurities but no one in a committed relationship who cares for their partner would do this. You know how this goes and you know how this ends. I’m sorry for your situation. Either it’s an immediate block of her and her friend he sent money to and he starts job hunting, or you start divorce lawyer hunting.
Of course it’s inappropriate. Your husband is connected to someone else than you?
Seriously, trust your gut feeling.
The texts are inappropriate from a married individual. Sending money for a gift for her friend gives the feeling that they are giving “her” friend a gift as a couple (he shad her friend and not a coworker, etc). I think you need to sit him down and discuss your feelings and establish some acceptable boundaries.
He’s crushing on her. He could easily get in trouble at work over this.
Hell to the no
Huge red flags. I would tell him that he’s having an emotional affair and you expect it to stop immediately. If he doesn’t stop, I would be done. You are not crazy. Trust your instinct!
If he’s not cheating on you already he will be very soon
Emotional affair on his part. If it goes further, it depends on how she really feels about him.
I’d like you to imagine that when your husband comes home from work, he drops his pants and takes a giant poop in the middle of the living room and just leaves it there. You would absolutely lose your mind, you wouldn’t dance around how you feel or let him gaslight you into thinking there isn’t a giant turd in the middle of the living room.
Go find your inner psycho and unleash it, NOW. He should walk away from your next conversation genuinely afraid that if he texts this woman again, you might set the house on fire and he probably won’t have a job anymore.
This should be an Oscar winning performance. Go. Now. Don’t wait.
Not cool at all!
He’s trying to develop a special relationship with her so that she will eventually want to sleep with him .
His intentions are clear , your alarm bells are going off because you know this , don’t ignore your gut.
Trust your gut. This is not okay.
Trust your intuition.