My gf (26) and I (30) tried to get back together after I broke up with her last weekend. Our main disagreement is about religion, but that is not what this post is about. I can be unresponsive to her emotional needs, and I am aware of that. I want to be more conscientious and empathetic.
However, I find her way of “getting what she wants” overbearing and confusing. Instead of asking for a hug, she launches into a tirade about how I am not meeting her needs, leaving me to feel incapable of providing for her emotionally. I freeze. Her conversations are usually punctuated with cursing about how “I don’t give a fuck,” which I know isn’t true. She can talk for several minutes at a time without pause. During an argument, she may call me selfish or she may mock me.
Last night, she screamed “fuck you” and held up two middle fingers in my face. I don’t know how to respond when she gets this way. It has made me feel numb, confused, and heartbroken. I feel disrespected. However, she does return with a sincere, tearful apology, that I believe.
She was in a severely abusive relationship before me. She is just under 5 feet tall, so I suspect she learned to use her words to violently defend herself. The problem is, I don’t think it is necessary with me, and I get overwhelmed by her strong feelings.
After the “fuck you” and double middle fingers and apology, I told her I love her but need space this week to recover from the event. Am I wrong for not being able to forgive her and move on in a few hours?
tl;dr I cut off communication for a week with my gf after she cursed me out in an argument.
Comments
She’s verbally abusing you dude.
If you break up with someone, just stay broken up. It’s not about refusing to forgive someone, it’s about realizing you are incompatible and that doesn’t change in a few days.
Grow a spine and stay broken up
Imagine if you acted like that to her. She sounds horrible dude just leave and don’t look back.
Both of my daughters are 5 feet tall and act nothing like this. This woman is verbally and emotionally abusive. No one should ever tell their partner to fuck off, which is what she’s doing. A 26-year-old woman should know and do better.
Please stick to your guns and don’t take her back. She’s preying on you because you’re passive and kind.
ETA: An argument about religion is no small thing and possibly the main reason for the conflict in your relationship. You say your post is not about that, but I think it very much is.
I think what you should do is do everything she wants and forget about anything you want for the rest of your life so that she doesn’t verbally abuse you -sarcasm. Just end it if you don’t live together it’s so easy.
Nah man, this one ain’t for you from the sound of it.