My 24M mate 26M shit himself after a night out. How can I move past it and not make it weird?

r/

Hi 24M here. I was out with some friends (4 guys, 24-27, and one of their girlfriends, 25F). We were celebrating one of the guy’s birthdays so we ended up hopping from pub to pub and ended up at a club by the end of the night. Everyone was definitely wasted by the end of the night but I lowkey have a fear of throwing up, so I always watch what and how much I’m drinking. All the other guys drank a lot.

One of my friends 26M went downhill super fast. He ended up throwing up everywhere outside the club. We started getting attention from people passing by, who tried to start helping. I was one of the most sober people in the group, so I was running back and forth to get him water and towels. I had to immediately put my vomit fears aside to help him, but I was covered in it. The club ends up telling us we have to leave, he can’t be throwing up like that in front of their business. But at that point my mate was on the floor. He couldn’t move any part of his body. We had to carry him to the car lot before the club called the police.

By the time we get him to the lot, he demands we put him down on the floor or just leave him there. We weren’t able to get a taxi but we managed to get a hold of his girlfriend to come pick us up. When she got there, we picked him up to put him in the car and then he shat himself. It was warm and liquidy and it got all over me and my other mate. We had to put him down and he just laid there shitting himself. He couldn’t stop. We had never seen that happen, and some of my friends are borderline alcoholics, so we decided to take him to the hospital. We loaded him into the car and got him there and he was fine. Everyone was gagging the whole way there. His girlfriend told us to go home, so we all left the hospital. I went home and sat on the floor in my shower for maybe an hour.

Now I’m having this problem where I keep replaying the moment he shit himself in my head. I know it’s not his fault, and I don’t want to accidentally hold it against him in my head. I don’t do well with bodily fluids of any kind, so poop would be the worst for me. I feel like I can still smell it, even though I shouldn’t be able to. How am I supposed to move on from this and act normal? I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or like I’m not here for him but I honestly don’t know how I can ever see him the same way again. We’re also coworkers, so avoiding him isn’t an option. He’s now acting like nothing happened. I feel like a horrible person for thinking this way about it.

For extra info, I’ve never seen him or anyone get that drunk before. I get that shit happens (haha) but I really don’t know how common this is. I don’t know if I should also just act like nothing happened or if it’s something that requires addressing. He has a tendency to not be aware of the way he comes off, especially at work. Like he’ll do half assed work sometimes and then talk about how he thinks he’s guaranteed a promotion. I don’t know if this is translating now into other parts of his life. Maybe I am reading into it too much, but I’m just concerned for him and unsure about the best way to go about dealing with this. His girlfriend likely won’t ever address this with him, she’s not confrontational at all and puts him on a pedestal. She plays housewife while pretty much supporting him entirely financially, so there’s not much hope she’ll say anything to him. Don’t know if he should hear from his mates about how we’re concerned for him or if we should just drop it. Any advice would be great thanks.

Comments

  1. _sugar_water_purple Avatar

    26M- “You’re only cool if you poo your pants”

    24M- (poos pants)

    Stranger- hey look 24m poos pants too! awesome!

    And there was much rejoicing…

  2. Fibonabdii358 Avatar

    u/throwra1603175 Your mate owes to an apology. Only way past it is through it and many, many, many showers. Dont take care of him at that level again. He almost died. Call EMS, wait till they arrive, then leave.

  3. KenzoidTheHuman Avatar

    Your friend had alcohol poisoning, and you all saved him by taking him to the hospital. Try making plans that don’t involve drinking- he could possibly be an alcoholic if he sees nothing wrong with this behavior. Either way, his liver deserves a break.

  4. Goatyyy32 Avatar

    Make it weird. As a friend you should be addressing problematic behavior and holding your friends accountable. Getting that level of intoxicated is crazy. You’ll have to decide what kind of approach this person needs, but if my friend got hammered and shit on me he would be getting a “what the actual fuck” conversation asap. You’re a good guy for taking care of him

  5. Itsacone Avatar

    Shit happens….

  6. renee4310 Avatar

    Oh my God, I thought I had some stories… so you say you haven’t seen him get drunk before.
    Many of us have had our swing at the plate before not proud of it…

    Just act like nothing‘s happened at this point since it’s the only time you’ve seen this happen .
    Truly.

    Sometime it may be your turn and you will want the same

  7. Disastrous-Cod-7022 Avatar

    Why would you say it’s not his fault? It’s his fault. Wash your hands and get past it. And learn a lesson from it maybe next time you tell him you’re not babysitting

  8. Dukeshire101 Avatar

    You wiped up his vomit? No thanks.

  9. cranialcavities Avatar

    He got poisoned

  10. wolfenbear1 Avatar

    Alcohol especially beer is known to cause diarrhea in susceptible individuals. He was probably dehydrated and the Alcohol acted as a colonic purgative. Being inebriated, he lost control. Have sympathy empathy for him. Make sure it never happens again. Positive support and encourage change for the better.

  11. ChristopherHendricks Avatar

    He should have thanked you all and apologized profusely for putting you in that situation. But he’s pretending it never happened and combined with your description of him being a freeloader, lacking in self-awareness, and someone who thinks he’s superior to others even when he half-asses his work, it sounds to me like this friend is a selfish asshole.

    I wouldn’t be friends with someone like this, especially after something like that.