Location: Washington DC
Basically an ex girlfriend reached out saying she is pregnant and she is confident I am the father. For now let’s assume this to be 100% true.
She said she definitely wants to abort, a decision I also agree with (not that it matters, as it’s 100% here). I have offered to pay 100% of all medical cost related to that, and if she would like to travel to her home country to do it (she’s temporarily in the US for work), I also offered to pay round-trip airfare.
Over the past few weeks she’s been stalling and no-showing multiple doctor appointments where she would be receiving the abortion pill (including two prepaid visit I paid for $250 each).
Now she is claiming she has many additional expenses needed related to the abortion, and she refuses to go forward with the abortion unless I transfer her this money in advance. Many of these expenses are unreasonable (nails, spa massage, 30 x therapist sessions at $300 each, new clothes despite she would be terminating the pregnancy in a matter of days). I offered to pay medical expenses either directly to the provider or reimbursing her, but she declined. She wants the cash in advance and it honestly feels like a shakedown.
Could the above be seen as extortion? Cause it feels it 😩
Thank you in advance for your reply
Comments
No, it’s not extortion. You aren’t required to pay any of these costs. She’s also not threatening you with anything if you refuse to pay.
This is not extortion because she’s not threatening anything for non-payment.
You’re free to request a paternity test once any child is actually born.
Until the child is born, this is her health issue and responsibility to pay for.
You can agree to anything above that.
Not sure if it’s extortion but it’s definitely sounding like a scam. Document all of these conversations somewhere secure so they can’t be deleted.
Extortion is more that she’s threatening to tell or do something if you don’t do it.
>Could the above be seen as extortion? Cause it feels it 😩
No. Extortion involves force or threats.
She can ask for whatever she wants.
You can say no.
Has she made a wrongful threat of some sort? Refusing to get an abortion is not a wrongful threat.
You mentioned a lot of things she wants, but don’t actually mention any threats she’s made. No threat, no extortion.
It’s definitely a shakedown though. I’d block her and move on with my life.
It’s not extortion but two points worth bringing up:
if she’s missing or stalling the appointments, it’s possible she’s trying to run out of time to get the abortion. If such is the case and she carries to term, do not sign anything or commit to anything without a paternity test.
she’ll claim she’ll claim get the procedure with a trusted party or that she wants to do it without you. If that’s the case there’s quite possibly no baby and she’s trying to scam you.
Do you not see the red flags of her not going to any doctor appointments with you? What proof do you even have she is pregnant besides her word? You aren’t being extorted you’re just being scammed. 1
There is no abortion ban in Washington DC (according to Google). Just offer to drive her and pay direct. Nothing else is needed.
ask to see a pregnancy test – from her doctor
What guarantee do you have that she will have the abortion?