We planned to hit up a music event over the weekend in town, but i came down with something super bad and couldn’t make it out..
the venue is much closer to my place (he’s from adjacent town) we previously agreed to spend the night over at my place after.
I felt bad for ruining the plans so i told him to still go with a buddy and transferred the ticket to him.
Last night i guess while on sleeping pills, i completely forgot and locked the door around 9pm when i went to bed out of habit.
He came around 2am, woke everyone in the building up except me.
this morning i work up to 10 angry texts and bunch of voice messages.. i’ll save you all the details of those.
On one hand i feel bad for locking him out and forgetting what we agreed on.. but on the other hand i’m thinking you’re kidding me right??
i haven’t called him yet so i’m not even sure if he went home or stayed somewhere with a friend. not sure if i care enough to find out.
AITAH?
EDIT: HE HAS PAIR OF KEYS. I don’t know why he didn’t bring them. Not trying to change the story here but i suppose this is crucial info.
Comments
NTA – oh. He had keys and forgot them. Yeah he was a drunk AH and this on him.
Kind of an important detail to leave out. But knowing your were sick and he forgot his keys he should not have expected you to be up/get up to be let in at 2am.
YTA – he was supposed to stay at your place and you completely forgot and left him high and dry. Youre in the wrong.Edit. Updated!!
YTA and you made the title deceiving. He did nothing you didn’t ethier tell him to or agreed to. You need to grow up and take accountability and maybe I don’t know apologize. You have zero reason to be upset you are the one that did him dirty.
Why didn’t you give him keys?
YTA
YTA.
YTA, not sure why you’re mad lol
Updateme
YTA. You wanted to look good so transferred the ticket to him but still wanted to punish him because you couldn’t go. Don’t actually give a shit about him.
The title makes it seem like he was wrong but when you explained yourself YTA! You were wrong
YTA for this one, you had plans for him to crash there and then just completely forgot about him and ghosted him…like, sure, it was an accident, but you can be an accidental AH.
Did he forget his key or you just don’t like him enough to give him one?
NTA. You were literally sick, medicated, and asleep. What was he expecting? concierge service at 2am?
NTA, you were le sick and you did your best. Being slightly annoyed on the way home would be justified but yelling at a sick person is absurd.
Wow! Locked out? I don’t know what I’d do if my loved one locked me out.
YTA
It sounds like he still very reasonably planned to sleep over. And you locked him out and were unreachable. That’s super F’ed up.
YTA …. and by the way you worded both title and body to be intentionally misleading, you didn’t ‘forget’. You knew exactly what you were doing.
You told him to go without you hoping he’d stay. And when he did exactly what you told him to do, you punished him. He can’t read your mind. If you wanted a babysitter while you’re sick, tell him so. Don’t do the whole “its fine” when it’s clearly not.
He knew you were sick. He knew you were home. If he didn’t bring a key or check in, that’s on him.
INFO: When you couldn’t attend and transferred the tickets over to him did you discuss the plans for him to stay over again? If my partner was too sick to come out, I’d assume they wouldn’t want me staying over either. But it seems he assumed the plans to stay over were still on. If you didn’t discuss this again it’s a miscommunication on both parties imo.
Tell him you weren’t home and went out with a friend and fell asleep on his couch.
YTA. You literally locked out your guest and you’re wondering if you did something wrong.
You should have given him a key or left the door unlocked. Or at least told him to find other accommodations.
NTA
> I felt bad for ruining the plans so i told him to still go with a buddy and transferred the ticket to him
Was the buddy planning on crashing without asking? He could get a free ticket but not provide a place to stay?
> locked the door around 9pm when i went to bed out of habit
Were you supposed to leave the door unlocked from 9pm to 2am??
Why didn’t he ask “Oh hey, can I still stay at your place even though you’re cancelling because you’re sick?”
To me, if you cancelled the initial date, then it’s implied he’s not staying over. If he’s a reasonable adult he needs to either confirm the plans or find a new place to crash.
You need to lock your door. He should have a key.
At best- E S H. I would think it was pretty clear that if you were too sick to go, that he would not be expecting you to host him late after an event and would not be putting himself at risk to get sick unless he intended on taking care of you the next day.
This should’ve been discussed when the ticket transfer happened. I think it’s reasonable to have assumed he wouldn’t come over knowing you were that sick, but you still should have made sure he wasn’t coming.
Why would he expect you to stay up until whenever he decided to be done while you’re sick??
Why would he expect you to leave the door unlocked for hours so that he can come in whenever he felt like being done?
I’d learn more towards him being T A because YOU WERE SICK and not everyone is thinking clearly when they are. Nta.
He has a key. NTA.
NTA, he had his keys
Not sure if he went home or stayed somewhere and not sure if you care enough to find out? That’s a weird sentiment.
You seem kind of like a bitch. Regardless of if he was wrong/drunk and forgot his key as you are now pretending.
Bigtime AH, you know it.