I’m 15 and pregnant, which I know is stupid and irresponsible, but it happened through r@pe and I definitely didn’t plan it. Everything about it is scary and stressful, but I really do want to keep the baby. I’m really careful and I’m doing everything I should be doing, but I still can’t get over my fear of miscarrying. I can’t stand the thought of losing my sweet little baby, but it’s all I can think about and I don’t know how to stop it.
I’m so scared I’ll miscarry
r/Advice
Comments
šµāš«š„“š„“š„“š„“š„“ girl no. Just no. wtf? Youāre a baby and youāre ready to be a mom? Youāre like in 8th or 9th grade. Holy fuck you need a therapist not a baby š„“š„“
Ok Iām a guy and 100% canāt relate to your feelings, but you are totally not stupid and irresponsible for what happened. And Iām really so sorry that it happened this way. I canāt say I know how to help you get over that fear other than you gotta believe in yourself and your baby. You are so strong, stronger than you know, and will come out of everything even stronger. If you have anyone in your community who yk and trust who has gone through pregnancy, particularly teen pregnancy but really anyone, maybe talk to them
youāre not irresponsible, it wasnāt your fault. as long as youāre healthy you should be okay, but if you ever need to talk, iām here for you. i love you, stranger <3
Iām sorry about what happened to you, thatās very brave of you to keep the baby, and your worry comes from a good place, make sure you have good family members / trusted adults around you, and keep up with doctors appointments, maybe ask a doctor if they can refer you to places that can help š
you’re not stupid or irresponsible, kid. you were forced against your will by some sicko. you did nothing wrong, and help is out there.
please take care of yourself, and when you have the baby if you decide to keep it in the long run, give it the best damn life you can.
What happened to you is absolutely not okay, but choosing not to kill the baby is incredibly brave and admirable. Itās normal to have extra anxiety and stuff like that when youāre pregnant due to the extra hormones and stuff. You are not irresponsible at all and you are showing the opposite as you are concerned for your babyās health. That shows responsibility and maturity. You will make a wonderful mother. Remember that some of those feelings are normal and try to keep listening to doctors and your body. Iām sending prayers xx
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I’m sure you will manage your way through this. It’s certainly a difficult situation, and you should probably consider some form of therapy to deal with the trauma from the assault. If you have a support system (parents, grandparents, boyfriend’s family), use it! If you’re in the US and struggling financially, there are many NGOs that will provide you with diapers, baby formula, parenting classes, and sometimes clothes and groceries. I wish you all the best!
(From a not-too-knowledgeable 17yr old)
Some basic questions:
What state are you in? You can do anything anywhere, but depending on your community and how supportive people are, will lead the path you should take.
Do you feel safe speaking to a parent, sibling, any guardian, teacher, counselor or any other adult authority? Seek out someone who can help you through this difficult time. You seem to want to keep it, if you truly want that, express it, but understand the situation and what you want in the long term. Miscarrying is not necessarily the biggest issue right now, but rather the difficult social and school situation you are in. Talk to someone you trust. Talk to a doctor.
My high school has a medical bus that stops by every Monday and Friday which students can ask to go to the office and go to (you usually have to schedule an appointment, but i would recommend asking if there is something like that at your school and going without warning just to get an idea of how it works.)
If you can talk to your guardian about this situation and will be safe afterwards, please do so. Otherwise, I advise that you talk to someone else as stated previously. PLEASE talk to a doctor, talk to a trusted friend, and visit your school counselor.
I am so sorry that you are placed into this situation and it is completely reasonable to want to have this child. Talking to a doctor and counselor alongside friends will help you understand what path you want to take, as having a child as a teen is incredibly difficult especially given the circumstances mentioned. Please weigh all your options and if you truly want to have this child, understand what that means for your future and take care of yourself in order to quiet those concerns of yours in terms of miscarrying. When I say to understand what this means for your future, you can most certainly succeed, but it will be very stressful and difficult. Your guardian must help you with raising your child or you need to find another system that works.
If you can get therapy or talk to a trusted person concerning your assault, that would also be great for you. A piece of advice to help with all the fear you may be facing is that you need to believe in yourself and tell yourself that you are strong. If you cannot do this, that is okay and remember, you are still incredibly strong, there are other safe options. In order to dispel this fear, do not focus on what may be out of your control, but rather true things you CAN control, such as taking care of yourself in order to have a healthy baby and proving your fear wrong by showing that you are doing everything possible to have a healthy pregnancy.
I wish you so much luck and I would recommend finding a community online that supports your health if you cannot do so in your own community. I offer my dms to you in case of anything, but of course, please be incredibly careful as to not have anyone take advantage of you online.
Good luck.
I understand that this is your choice but as someone who was raped at 13 and who had an abortion (even if I didnāt want it at the time, Iām very thankful I had one) I need you to understand the emotional impact this will have on you. Being a teen parent is hard and having a baby that will be from rape will be even harder, youāre only 15 and you donāt understand that right now. I didnāt understand until I had my first baby a few years later at 17 and it hit me hard everything that happened. It is ultimately your choice but please get therapy and the right resources to help you process this.
I’m currently pregnant and everything day I worry I would do something wrong that might harm the baby or I’ll be a horrible mum. I’m a more mature age but that feeling means you care.
I am currently seeing a therapist for prenatal depression and it’s helpful to talk through complicated feelings you have with your baby. Your brain and body are all being rewired, so it isn’t your own for a while – you are a walking, talking life-growing incubator. It’s a wonderful but terrifying time and only you know can know how your mental health is going. Don’t be afraid to say something if it gets bad or bothers you a lot.
I’d recommend that, if you haven’t yet, start taking pregnancy multivitamins. I don’t know what is available in your country but I take Elevit. It helps prevent the chance of neural tube defects and gives you all the vitamins the baby needs.
After about 10 weeks pregnant you can do a blood test to check for any risk to baby for genetic issues. This allows you to prepare if there’s a good chance baby might need a bit of extra help once out in the world.
If you have nausea or morning sickness, snack on ginger treats or simple beige food like plain crackers. Your appetite will likely go nuts before you know it.
The baby will take whatever nutrients it needs from you, so take care of yourself and avoid foods that might put you at risk like raw meats, soft or mouldy cheeses, and heavily processed foods.
Have regular appointments with your obstetrician if you can afford it. Regular ultrasounds every month or two helps keep an eye on baby’s development. Of anything ever feels strange or not right, never be afraid to call a hospital – especially a children’s hospital if there is one in your area.