I (19m)know this girl for like 6 months, and we became very close as friends. As time passed, we became very close, and we kissed and tried to have sex.
But things didn’t work on my end. I really couldn’t have an erection, and this made her so frustrated that she kicked me out of her room.
I didn’t take it personally because I was really frustrated with myself and sad because I couldn’t pleasure the girl I liked, and I was blaming myself.
After that, I asked her if she wanted to try again. She told me that she doesn’t find me handsome and that she can’t be in a real relationship with me.
(I think I am a normal guy. I am tall, 1.90m, and I go to the gym. I don’t have a perfect body, but I am okay, and I think I am not that ugly.)
So I respected that and didn’t talk like before.
Because of a really small argument, she called me a liar and said I needed to disappear from her life, and I respectfully did. I really avoided any place she would be in.
She tried to call like 5 times, but I couldn’t move on from what she said to me.
So after like a month, a mutual female friend of ours, when we were hanging out with her, asked me why I didn’t try to talk with her again and why I left her like a piece of shit.
She also told me that she finds me really attractive and that she didn’t mean that I am too ugly for her.
I told her that she didn’t apologize.
(Forget to mention, we spoke via chat and she didn’t say sorry.)
She said to me that she always said that she finds me attractive and that she loves to look at me with my glasses because she finds it really attractive, and if I liked her, I should have tried to connect with her. She said it’s my fault for playing with her feelings like that.
I really liked her a lot, but she said that she finds me UGLY. What should I do after hearing that?
What should I do if I like a girl and she says to me that she doesn’t like me back? Should I really try with her like that, like I don’t have dignity or what?
At that time, if I knew that she liked me, I would have tolerated what she said, but she needs to apologize first.
But now, after a whole month of struggling to move on from what she said, I will never be back together.
Why do girls say mean things they don’t really mean? How do I know if they mean it or not?
Comments
Honestly run away, words have consequences and if my partner called ugly, she would be kicked out from my life.
Block her. She’s playing games with your head.
Confidence is key. You should be proud of who you are and like yourself enough that when people try and bring you down it’s like water off a ducks back. Be confident in yourself and who you are and don’t let hate drag you down.
People you love and who are close to you will say mean things sometimes they mean it sometimes they don’t, it’s up to you to decide if you’ll forgive them or not.
However, if I was to take a guess the girl was most likely deflecting because you couldn’t get it up so she felt insecure about her looks and whether you thought she was attractive or not, so she went into defense mode and attacked your looks.
She knew exactly what she said and how it’d hurt you, and if she actually cared, she’d have apologized without you needing to chase it. You don’t owe anyone your dignity just because they changed their mind.
Dude, honestly, tell her to go fuck herself.
Fuck people like this, game playing dirty little skank is good for absolutely nothing.
The projection alone is enough to make me sick let alone the abuse she gave you.
Classic manipulative pos, tried to make everything YOUR FAULT.
She’s not your friend, she’s your enemy. Keep her at arms length at all times and continue to avoid her.
She thought that you’d keep coming back to her and she could use her shitty behaviour to control you, and now she realises that you have morals and pride, she’s trying to make out your the bad guy in all this to bring you down to her level. Tell her to go fuck herself and carry on with your life and pay no attention to her
My go is she took ut personally that you could not have an erection, made her not feel attractive, so she took it out on you saying you’re ugly so she doesn’t feel like the rejected one.
That’s insane. It doesn’t matter isn’t she means it or not, that is a horrible thing to do to you. It doesn’t matter why she said it either.
Leave
Best case: she is unstable, insecure and have issues regulating emotions and feelings and so she lashes out and hurt people she likes.
Worst case it’s what she said but guilt is eating her up a bit, and she missed parts of what you had.
Either way, someone that reacts negatively to erection issues like this is a no go. She is a POS. And you had the right to be annoyed at her. Minimum, even without that issue, her kicking you out of the room screaming because of sex or lack of it in the way she wanted. RED FLAG OP.
Adding a male perspective, being unable to have an erection seems in the USA to be almost as bad as death. It was after that episode that she began to dislike you, but as a beginner, it was quite understandable. The Prince Regent got his wife pregnant on their wedding night, but he was experienced. I would have expected her to suggest that the two of you should begin by caressing, etc.