Minor social transgressions—being interrupted during a meeting, overstepping workflow boundaries, having someone insist they step in on something I’m handling. Now, I straight up tell people (kindly) that I don’t want their help or that I didn’t like them interrupting me as it felt rude.
not matching my level of effort. In relationships, friendships, work relationships; everything. I used to overcompensate. Now i just back off. Im naturally a giver and I have to be selective who I give to. Its my choice anymore to overdo to make up for the lack in others.
People excusing harm in the name of the group. Especially when there is a massive power imbalance.
For example, I can’t stand teachers giving group punishment or doctors refusing to believe their patients. I used to think it was just how the world works, but now I know it needs to change.
I was raised with ‘silent treatment’ as a staple in the home, now I will not tolerate it; I operate under the belief that if someone has a grievance against me they will communicate it, if not then nothing is wrong, in my world at least.
Being scolded like a child by my own coworkers or “friends”. I’m often older than them, and I’ll snap back quickly now. Sometimes I have lighthearted self-deprecating humor, but that does not give you permission to talk down to me. Interestingly, this usually happened with my friends who became mothers. Suddenly, they would start scolding people around them. Girrrl i’m a grown ass adult.
Men making slightly suggestive comments as a “joke” I work in customer service and have had to deal with older men A LOT. I used to just ignore them and move on. Now I put a stop to it instantly.
Being guilted into changing my boundaries. I’m a people pleaser raised by people pleasers, so it was a lot of “don’t rock the boat” or “take the path of least resistance” when dealing with difficult and toxic family and friends. I’m not fully cured per se, but I call it out a lot more and stand up for myself and family.
Uncomfortable clothing or shoes. No more high heels, thongs, stuff that constantly needs adjusting, things that dig into my skin, anything that’s worn out and doesn’t fit properly.
Tolerating unreasonable demands from friends & family for something I offered them for free, despite charging others a significant fee. Happened twice before I snapped out.
my friend and her bigotted boyfriend. i used to tolerate him because she always brought him when we hung out but now i barely see her because i just cant tolerate her enabling his behaviour
Penpals.. I mean, they were great when I was 10-12 years old but now I’m not really into it! I’m referring to men who have no interest in dating and all the interest in texting monotously. I have one I’m trying to get rid of at the moment. If the conversation was more stimulating I’d at least be interested but nope, it’s just been three weeks of asking and hoping I have a good weekend, not really very exciting answers and not a lot of questions. I’ve never met anyone where I could spend three weeks simply not learning about and him simply not interested in anything about me.
It’s not supposed to be funny but at this point, I could almost write a novella or prose on “Ways not to bore a woman to death” or “How to go from sexy to boring in 1 week”.
People disrespecting clear boundaries I’ve set. I’m not put here on this Earth to teach you basic human respect, either do better or I’m comfortable with parting ways
Shaving my body hair, wearing makeup, painting my nails, straightening my hair, wearing a bra—I never enjoyed those things. I only did them because it’s what I was supposed to do as a woman. Letting go of that limited mindset has set me free.
Sexist jokes. I grew up with a father who loves the whole “wife ball and chain haha” humor. I used to let it slide but now I call him out on it everytime. Sure, it gets awkward sometimes but I’m tired of hearing him put my mother down for a cheap laugh. I know this is what their generation did but it’s not acceptable anymore and he needs to understand that.
Being talked at. I used to just sit and listen patiently, waiting my turn. Now I just interrupt them. Actively changing the topic to something anchored in the here and now helps sometimes, like “hey, look at this bird!” Some people genuinely don’t realize that they’re rambling.
Passive aggressive comments. I try to call them out on it and I mostly stopped talking to people who act like this as far as I can avoid them. .
When people complain, but don’t put in any effort to think of a solution. Makes me feel like I’m responsible for a solution and a fix, by default. Plus, hearing, “something is bothering me, and here’s what I’m going to do about it!” is waaaay better than just hearing negativity.
Being the afterthought/last resort/backup person in others lives. I take people’s actions at face value and eliminate them from my life. I’ve spent too many years having to make the executive decision after being mistreated more than once, never again.
Nagging me for sex. Bro I said no I’m not in the mood, begging just gives me the ick and by the time you stop I’m feeling uncomfortable and don’t even want you to touch me no more.
Anything I don’t like. I took that “I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself” quote to heart lmao. If I don’t like it, I’m leaving immediately-not a second wasted. Don’t care what or who it is.
Lack of tolerance for other peoples’ political leanings, virtue-signalling, being talked over, people who whinge but never take responsbility for changing their own lives or whatever it is that’s making them unhappy.
I really also need to stop tolerating others’ lack of reliability/flakiness but I haven’t quite got to 100% implementation of the intention yet.
strange ambiguous situations over and over again. I no longer ignore or conclude in a better way. we won’t be friends if you’re a red flag, even in small things
Men explaining things to me that I literally just said. Like I’ll mention something about my own field of work and suddenly Brad from accounting needs to educate me about it.
Being expected to work late constantly without extra pay. I used to think it made me look dedicated but all it did was teach my boss that my time wasn’t valuable.
Comments
Being called love or anything similar by colleagues
Indirect jabs
Unwanted touching
Being talked over. They need to sit down and listen now.
Not knowing my worth and letting people push me around.
Lazy coworkers.
People’s opinions
Bikini bottoms. Never felt comfortable in them, so guess what? I’m done. Swim shorts for life!
Minor social transgressions—being interrupted during a meeting, overstepping workflow boundaries, having someone insist they step in on something I’m handling. Now, I straight up tell people (kindly) that I don’t want their help or that I didn’t like them interrupting me as it felt rude.
Bro I get so much done now bless
not matching my level of effort. In relationships, friendships, work relationships; everything. I used to overcompensate. Now i just back off. Im naturally a giver and I have to be selective who I give to. Its my choice anymore to overdo to make up for the lack in others.
Republican men.
The bare minimum from men lol
People not being blunt
People excusing harm in the name of the group. Especially when there is a massive power imbalance.
For example, I can’t stand teachers giving group punishment or doctors refusing to believe their patients. I used to think it was just how the world works, but now I know it needs to change.
I was raised with ‘silent treatment’ as a staple in the home, now I will not tolerate it; I operate under the belief that if someone has a grievance against me they will communicate it, if not then nothing is wrong, in my world at least.
People who constantly complain but never take action to actually change their lives. Tbh I don’t have a clue why I used tolerate them lol
Allowing others to make me feel like I have to earn simple pleasures. Like a long shower, alone time or gaming. No is a complete sentence.
As a woman being told to smile, it happens a lot but now I tell them no
Mean people
Getting rid of all of my hair for no good reason
Being treated like I’m less-than
Being scolded like a child by my own coworkers or “friends”. I’m often older than them, and I’ll snap back quickly now. Sometimes I have lighthearted self-deprecating humor, but that does not give you permission to talk down to me. Interestingly, this usually happened with my friends who became mothers. Suddenly, they would start scolding people around them. Girrrl i’m a grown ass adult.
My mom’s verbal abuse.
Not taking me on dates.
Loose and barking dogs. No it is not cute or acceptable or just what dogs do. Get them under control or deal with AC. Tired of this crap.
When someone cuts me in line. I call that shit out so fast now.
Cheating (low self worth/love)
Men making slightly suggestive comments as a “joke” I work in customer service and have had to deal with older men A LOT. I used to just ignore them and move on. Now I put a stop to it instantly.
Low/No effort. I ain’t got time for that.
Being guilted into changing my boundaries. I’m a people pleaser raised by people pleasers, so it was a lot of “don’t rock the boat” or “take the path of least resistance” when dealing with difficult and toxic family and friends. I’m not fully cured per se, but I call it out a lot more and stand up for myself and family.
Being called names in arguments, and calling others names. It’s just stupid.
Folks without a good sense of humor. Spent too many silent car rides with my ex because everything sucked in their eyes
Not telling the full truth… and leaving parts out.. when being told something
Uncomfortable clothing or shoes. No more high heels, thongs, stuff that constantly needs adjusting, things that dig into my skin, anything that’s worn out and doesn’t fit properly.
Disrespect. Watch your mouth.
The idea that women have to be married or else their lives are pointless.
Tolerating unreasonable demands from friends & family for something I offered them for free, despite charging others a significant fee. Happened twice before I snapped out.
my friend and her bigotted boyfriend. i used to tolerate him because she always brought him when we hung out but now i barely see her because i just cant tolerate her enabling his behaviour
Penpals.. I mean, they were great when I was 10-12 years old but now I’m not really into it! I’m referring to men who have no interest in dating and all the interest in texting monotously. I have one I’m trying to get rid of at the moment. If the conversation was more stimulating I’d at least be interested but nope, it’s just been three weeks of asking and hoping I have a good weekend, not really very exciting answers and not a lot of questions. I’ve never met anyone where I could spend three weeks simply not learning about and him simply not interested in anything about me.
It’s not supposed to be funny but at this point, I could almost write a novella or prose on “Ways not to bore a woman to death” or “How to go from sexy to boring in 1 week”.
Bullshit from men
Any type of disrespect regardless of their age
People disrespecting clear boundaries I’ve set. I’m not put here on this Earth to teach you basic human respect, either do better or I’m comfortable with parting ways
Bigoted remarks. I used to just internally cringe but now I’ll call people out.
Shaving my body hair, wearing makeup, painting my nails, straightening my hair, wearing a bra—I never enjoyed those things. I only did them because it’s what I was supposed to do as a woman. Letting go of that limited mindset has set me free.
Sexist jokes. I grew up with a father who loves the whole “wife ball and chain haha” humor. I used to let it slide but now I call him out on it everytime. Sure, it gets awkward sometimes but I’m tired of hearing him put my mother down for a cheap laugh. I know this is what their generation did but it’s not acceptable anymore and he needs to understand that.
Being talked at. I used to just sit and listen patiently, waiting my turn. Now I just interrupt them. Actively changing the topic to something anchored in the here and now helps sometimes, like “hey, look at this bird!” Some people genuinely don’t realize that they’re rambling.
Passive aggressive comments. I try to call them out on it and I mostly stopped talking to people who act like this as far as I can avoid them. .
When people complain, but don’t put in any effort to think of a solution. Makes me feel like I’m responsible for a solution and a fix, by default. Plus, hearing, “something is bothering me, and here’s what I’m going to do about it!” is waaaay better than just hearing negativity.
The whole “but they are family!” Thing
Being the afterthought/last resort/backup person in others lives. I take people’s actions at face value and eliminate them from my life. I’ve spent too many years having to make the executive decision after being mistreated more than once, never again.
Nagging me for sex. Bro I said no I’m not in the mood, begging just gives me the ick and by the time you stop I’m feeling uncomfortable and don’t even want you to touch me no more.
Self depreciation.
[removed]
passive aggressive obvious insults from other women
Anything I don’t like. I took that “I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself” quote to heart lmao. If I don’t like it, I’m leaving immediately-not a second wasted. Don’t care what or who it is.
Lack of tolerance for other peoples’ political leanings, virtue-signalling, being talked over, people who whinge but never take responsbility for changing their own lives or whatever it is that’s making them unhappy.
I really also need to stop tolerating others’ lack of reliability/flakiness but I haven’t quite got to 100% implementation of the intention yet.
Men.
P*rn
strange ambiguous situations over and over again. I no longer ignore or conclude in a better way. we won’t be friends if you’re a red flag, even in small things
Men explaining things to me that I literally just said. Like I’ll mention something about my own field of work and suddenly Brad from accounting needs to educate me about it.
Weaponised Incompetence
Being expected to work late constantly without extra pay. I used to think it made me look dedicated but all it did was teach my boss that my time wasn’t valuable.