Me (23F) and my brother (20M) have always been like your normal brother – sister duo. We helped each other, could talk and play games. Nothing was out of the ordinary and up until the age of 14/15 we even shared a room. But at some point me and my mom suddenly got this weird feeling of being watched.
When we would go to the shower he would suddenly also need to use the toilet (different room than the shower), or he suddenly need to grab something from his bag (which was in the hallway connected to the bathroom). Things like that. All of a sudden a need for anything exactly during the moments where me and my mom would be showering or getting dressed in our rooms.
One time over six years ago when I was still in highschool, I had just come out of the shower and went into my room. I was drying myself and suddenly something inside of me told me to look through the keyhole. Sure enough I saw his eye staring right back at him, to which he ran away. Around that time my mother had also caught him watching her shower through a small hole above the door.
In between the time of the past up until now, that odd feeling never went away. At the beginning of this February on a Sunday, my parents were cooking dinner in the kitchen, he was cleaning whatever. I went into the kitchen and told my mom that I was gonna take a shower. When I walked from the kitchen to the living room he stood there and watched me like he had overheard something important. I closed the living room door and closed the bathroom door. I noticed that the door had sunken a bit and there was a gap above the door which you could look through if you managed to reach it. I made a mental note that I should tell my parents later to get it fixed. I got undressed and suddenly had that same gut feeling telling me to look at that gap. I looked up and surely enough, I saw the camera lens of his phone. I panicked and opened the door screaming at him, so he’d knew I caught him in the act, but I forgot to cover myself and he did see me naked, ogling me like I was some piece of meat. I grabbed a towel and ran to the kitchen, wanting to scream but not even getting a word out of my throat. Powerless.
This event led to a huge fight between my brother and parents and me. At first he even denied it, accusing my parents of taking my side and threatening to kill himself. Then when my dad stepped in he cried and cried and cried. In that moment it felt like he was the victim, the way he acted.
I did look through his phone briefly somewhere in april, but didn’t see any weird recordings or pictures of us.
He is a very private and defensive person. When agitated or angry he gets very aggressive. Not that I am scared of him, but it’s something to keep in mind. Ever since all of that happened I feel this hatred for him, can’t be near him, hear him, nothing.
Even nowadays I still see him ogling my chest or ass or any skin of flesh he sees, and it’s infuriating me. To not feel comfortable enough in my own house. I’m still studying and moving out is almost impossible at the moment.
I don’t know how to deal with this, or how to get over this. I don’t know what to do, and it’s tearing me down. From an older sister to the world: what can I do? What should I do? What’s your opinion on this? I’m losing my mind.
Comments
Stop announcing showers, go at random times when he’s not home. Call him out loud when he stares, make his behavior everyone’s business. He’s relying on your silence, let people know his “disgusting behavior”
This is something well out of your control or your ability to manage. Your parents are the ones who need to be addressing this.
Respectfully, your brother needs some sort of medical assistance, such as talk therapy of some kind.
I say this because of his reaction to your father: by threatening to “kill himself”, your brother was signaling very loudly that he needs help.
Perhaps you can suggest to your parents that they talk to your family doctor about your brother. The family doctor might be able to make a referral to a therapist.
Talk to someone at your school or contact services for abused women. You are not safe.
You need cameras in the common areas that will catch him in the act.
Depending on the laws where you’re at, that kind of voyeurism might be a chargeable offense.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Your parents need to step in and protect you. Your brother needs therapy and to correct this inappropriate sexual behavior / thoughts / actions. If your parents refuse to help, tell someone at your school like a trusted guidance counselor or a doctor.
Girl, that is not your brother anymore, that’s a threat living under the same roof. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t imagine it. You’re not crazy. He crossed a disgusting line, and you have every right to hate him. But now you need to protect yourself. Get help, build safety, speak out. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to carry his shame. That’s HIS to burn with.
But if you really want to do something for him whenever he said you to kill himself. Respond him okay or whatever because he’s just try to silence. One more thing send him to councelling. Because if he’s not living his mother and sister then he could became a walking monster other girls. Cut off his friend circle also ( He needs restrictions and guidance right now ) . Be strict with him take phone especially internet. Talk to your parents how Thier son became huge threat
Call the cops
This is something your parents should’ve put him in therapy for years ago. They need to get his shit in check before he commits an actual crime and suffer the consequences. If he’s doing it to you and your mom then who knows if he had been doing it to girls in school, cousins, etc. and it’s forgivable as a child but he’s an adult now, so the consequences are more serious.
I do feel your parents probably shouldn’t have let him share a room with you all the way to 15 years old, since that might’ve caused this problem.
Personally I would move out if I were you. Let it be your parent’s problem. Don’t give yourself any more opportunities to be a victim.
sheesh…there are many type of people out there isnt it..
First of all, having a desire to see a family member naked is a sick perversion indicating something wrong in his mind. That is not normal at all. It should repulse and disgust him to think about his sister and mom like that. Your parents dropped the ball on this. I assume they really didn’t do too much to make sure that never happened again? You need to talk this through with them. Suggest they bring him to a therapist of some sort. Either that or he needs to move out. This is not something you should have to deal with. It’s sick and a huge red flag that something is seriously wrong with his mental health. Early 20s is when most mental illnesses manifest. There’s no telling what else he’s been up to that you guys have no idea about.
>I grabbed a towel and ran to the kitchen, wanting to scream but not even getting a word out of my throat. Powerless.
Mediocre creative writing effort.
C-
Go talk to him. Tell him what he did is wrong and he shouldn’t do it and that acting creepy is not a way to get along with others especially in the family. Don’t expect a response
Warn extended family members that he may have the opportunity to peep as well. I would even consider speaking with a prison psychologist to see what “early” interventions he or she would recommend.
That boy needs therapy
Call the police OP. Your creep brother is a criminal. If he’ll do this to his own sister in the family home what is he doing to strangers out in the world?
He will hurt a woman or two in his lifetine. Keep him away from little girls. Get him help while he’s still a minor.
That behavior is beyond normal. He sound like a peeping Tom that will probably escalate to rapist. Your parents need to insist he goes to therapy. You may want to go as well. If they don’t do something now, later will cost everyone. Totally not normal.
Dude I am SO sorry this is awful, I hope you find a nice therapist someday
Carry a mace and a taser and use it on him WHEN he does it again
Gross. He needs some help before this proclivity turns legal. You may not be the only one and he could wind up in jail. What your parents allow will continue. They need to put their feet down and insist on some serious psychiatric intervention.
Would it be possible for you to consider moving out? I’m assuming you’ve completed your graduation and can do a job in another city. If not, then either way, it’s important to have a serious conversation with your parents; this behavior needs to stop. He should see a therapist; this kind of aggression is not okay and shouldn’t be brushed aside. Even though they’re your parents, you have every right to stand up for yourself. The fact that he gets aggressive is a serious red flag that cannot be ignored.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
Fetish post or bot