I’ve never been more insecure in my life

r/

I just finished my workout and genuinely I (M 20) am so insecure about everything about myself , as the title says. This morning, two girls were doing leg press next to me and as i was loading my leg press, mind you both these machines are close to each other so if two people were to load weight at the same time there wouldn’t be much space, the other girl was loading weight behind me and i immediately just moved out of the way for sake of bothering them or what have you. I felt like I did something wrong and I didn’t want to give them the wrong impression that i was a creep or something, so i went up to them and told them “hey im sorry for being in the way when you were loading weight” and they said “ok” and i immediately regretted it because not only have i made a fool out of myself, they looked as if i bothered them when i never went out of my way to do so. This is one of many workouts where I feel like I smell like shit, i look like shit, and overall, an awkward person to be around. I have autism, so i do my best to make conversation without being as awkward as possible. Another thing is I am terrified of being perceived as a pervert because i consumed so much social media like tiktok and instagram, and i see videos of women sharing their horrific experiences with men and now I think that every woman will perceive me as a creep or worse. As a result, I do my best to never look into anyone’s direction, and be as far away as i can from them. I’ve only been in therapy for about three months and it has not made things any better. Furthermore, I like to think i take good care of myself, i have a simple skincare routine, I always put on deodorant and cologne, and i always wear baggy clothes because i dont want to show any skin. I genuinely have no idea on what to do or how to advance myself in this situation. Where do i even begin?

Comments

  1. Expensive_Magician97 Avatar

    In a situation like a gym, there’s really no need to have conversation with other people.

    I think what you did was appropriate, by just getting up and moving out of the way.

    In my opinion, there was no particular need for you to say anything to them afterwards.

    What do you think about that?