Thinking about asking my (36F) boyfriend (37M) to move out after only two months

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we’ve been living together for about two months. He moved into my house with his two cats, and I’m struggling with some major concerns around hygiene, cleanliness, and lifestyle compatibility.

He typically showers every 3-5 days, but right now, he’s on day 6 without one. He doesn’t wash his sheets regularly, even after sweating through them while having the flu. I had to coach him into brushing his teeth in the morning (he was only doing it at night), and even now he often forgets. He hasn’t been to the dentist in years. He doesn’t get regular haircuts — he just buzzes his hair off himself every six months or so. He only brushes his hair after showering, not daily or even before work — just rolls out of bed, throws on clothes, and goes.

He also doesn’t fold or hang up his clothes — just pulls clean clothes out of a laundry hamper when he needs them. He leaves clothes on the floor, barely helps with cleaning unless I directly ask, and will shove things into an already full recycling/garbage bin instead of taking it out. His cats’ litter has spilled all over the pad under the litter boxes, and he hasn’t cleaned it up despite me asking him to.

On top of that, I’m vegan and really care about health and nutrition. He eats a standard American diet based on convenience — frozen burritos, ramen, whatever’s quick. He doesn’t cook for himself, so I’ve ended up doing all the shopping, meal planning, and cooking. This part has been bothering me more than I expected. I’ve realized I’d ideally like someone who eats similarly to me so we can share in the cooking duties and the intention behind the food.

Another piece of this is that we don’t have much in common in terms of interests, so conversations often don’t feel that stimulating or engaging. I’ve found myself craving deeper connection.

I’ve had two clear conversations with him about how important hygiene and cleanliness are to me. After the last one (two months ago, the day before he moved in), I decided to stop bringing it up and just observe. My thinking was if he changes, great. If not, then I’d have my answer because I don’t want to spend this relationship constantly reminding or managing him like I’m his mom.

And honestly, not much has changed. If anything, it’s made me realize how much I value having a partner who naturally wants to take care of themselves and our shared space — not someone who only does it when prompted or to satisfy me.

If I broke up with him now, it might feel “out of the blue” to him since I haven’t brought it up recently, but I have talked about it twice. I just feel incredibly guilty because he just moved in recently, and him and his cats have just started settling in and seem really happy here. He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. He’s dependable, financially responsible/stable, funny, treats me well, which is what’s made this so hard.

I knew these things were issues before moving in but having it in my face day to day is a different story. I just feel like a horrible person for realizing this likely won’t work for me after he moved in. Am I being unfair to him if I don’t give him one more chance/conversation about this, or is it okay to call it quits?