My ex-husband was fired from ANOTHER job a few months ago for getting drunk at work and trying to fight yet another boss of his (4th job so far). He has not helped with even $1 towards our son and is a few thousand behind on child support but now he is begging me to drop the child support case so that they do not put a warrant for his arrest. They have already suspended his drivers license so the warrant is the next step. Idk what to do. He won’t willingly help pay for our son so if I drop the case then I definitely will never receive help once he does need beer money again and finally gets a new job. Idk what to do. I’m afraid if he goes to jail my son will be mad at me for it instead of his dad. My son knows there are days we eat once a day because my checks barely cover our bills doing everything alone. I just don’t know what to do right now. I REALLY need his help but I think I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t sadly. Does anyone have any advice that could lend to me?
My ex-husband hasn’t worked in months..
r/Advice
Comments
Don’t drop the case he’s had enough chances, and without it, he won’t help at all. If your son asks, just tell him you did what you had to do to take care of him.
Do NOT do that. He did this to himself. Your son can be angry al he wants but in the end the problem is your ex. At least this way the law is going after him.
You’re doing what’s best for your child, even if it’s hard. If he hasn’t stepped up by now, dropping the case likely won’t change that. Stay strong you’re not the one failing your son.
Simple really do not drop the case. You know that you do don’t need Reddit to tell you.
Don’t drop the case. And please do a little research in your area. There’s food kitchens at churches all over the USA If that’s where you are. And government assistance as well to help people in your spot
Dropping the case won’t help anyone. Even if your child gets mad, they will understand in time. If you drop the case, you will never receive a penny from him.
An adult being held accountable for his actions is productive. And sometimes the safest place for an out of control adult is in jail. You’re the only adult watching out for the health, safety, and well being of your son. Be strong and keep being you.
They will not lick him up because then he will never get a job. The court will reduce his payment amount, but extend it in the long term so he still ends up paying the full amount.
Yes, check on government assistance programs, food banks and churches.
Don’t drop the case, he’s a grown man who can figure out his own problems. I would recommend looking for a supportive step father who will actually contribute financially and help with your son, as men in jail can’t really provide a lot in child support and you’d still be stuck with your own mess.
Keep on the case. Even if it gets you nowhere, the ex husband needs to see the consequences of his actions. Sounds like he needs mental help too.
Talk to son and ask him how he feels, but let him know this is the only way forward that will ultimately benefit him. Unfortunately, he has to learn a little more about adult responsibility and the lack therof at an early age. You being upfront and open with him is ultimately what matters.
Teach your son that personal choices have consequences. His dad chooses the behavior, he’ll be forced to choose the consequences. Hang in there!
DO NOT DROP THE CASE.
When you apply for any kind of assistance that is income-based, like food stamps, the agency will see you did everything possible to get the child support your son is owed.
You owe it to your son to pursue the support.
Stop telling your son about the necessary legal steps you have to take to protect him. Do not ask his opinion, or allow him to decide “you are being mean” to your ex.
Please look for food banks or church- or community-based programs that help people get some groceries.
Depending where u live, there are food banks and churches you can seek out for food. You and your child need food and never have to eat just one meal a day!