Hi everyone! I need advice.
My brother in law (30)-let’s call him Jason, has been married to my sister (29) for about two years now. They have one baby girl and are planning to try for another very soon.
I am very close with both of them. I absolutely love my brother in law. He’s like a brother I’ve never had but always wanted. We all have very tight nit relationships with each other and the family dynamic is amazing.
For about a year or so, maybe a little less, Ive been seeing things from Bro in law on Instagram that don’t classify as cheating, but still grody behavior being that he’s married to my sister. When you click on a reel, in the upper right hand corner it will show you the profile bubbles if people you follow, if you click on it you can go through posts and reels that your friends have commented on or double tapped on.
I click on it every now and then Jason double taps and commented heart eyes, ect on girls reels that are half naked either working out, playing drums, ect. I see it pretty often. I even nonchalantly told my family a few months ago that I can see what they like on instagram with this feature just to see if he’d continue. This was months ago and he still does it.
It’s not cheating, and I don’t know if my sister knows or not. Should I tell her? Or just mind my own business. I don’t wanna mess up my family but I don’t want this to be a problem if he were to cheat on her in the future I think I’d feel guilty for not speaking up.
Thank you
Comments
Unintentional spying for over a year…
Tell her. She is your sister. There is a respectful way for a husband to behave. Don’t judge, just show her or tell her how to get to the material. The proper thing would have been to confront him when you first found out and not be a voyouer, that is perv In its own way.
Dude! Really? He’s a man doing what men do! He’s only looking. Geezus! You’re going to cause a right that in the long run I’d going to make you look stupid and a problem cause. But! Hey, do what you want. Just remember. “I said this would happen!” Told you so
leave my dude alone hes allowed to look at Instagram
Do what to my wife? If you’re referring to looking at females. Than well yes I do. And she’d tell the same thing I did.
Let him know that everybody can see what he likes on Instagram, so that’s not the place to get his porn/thirst traps. Or at least to not actually like them if he’s going to look.
I’m a guy who also enjoys some of the thirst traps that come up on my feed. But obviously Im not going to broadcast to all of my friends and family that Im checking out women on a social app. It’s disrespectful to your relationship. We all know most guys watch porn, but it shouldn’t be publicly.
It would piss me off it was my husband. You’re being a good sister. Go with your gut.
I would
MYOB … just bc it’s on the menu .. it doesn’t mean he will “try” every dish … stop stalking you BIL.
I thought the brother-in-law was going to overreach with OP by saying inappropriate things, harassing her or spying on her but he’s just a guy liking women on Instagram. Don’t intrude or cause an awkward moment with such nonsense.
She probably knows how to do that, too.
I have a hard time with this kind of thing. Are the girls underage? Are they doing something incredibly taboo? Is he messaging or comments to hook up with them?
If not, then who cares if he looks at other women?
That being said, I am also always a proponent of trusting your gut. If it’s telling you something is wrong here, then talk to your sister. OR, you could talk to your BIL and tell him to remember that Instagram now has a nifty little thing where followers can see what they like and comment… maybe he will speak up. Never know.
people in a couple have no business interacting with or flirting with adult content creators, it’s cheating in my book, if you need visual aid to scratch an itch you go to pornhub or whatever and load something up, do the deed and be done with it, and even that is a big no for a lot of people in a relationship
You say you two are close, then take your BIL to the side one day and just show him how others can see what he is doing.
Some find his kind of behavior disrespectful others do not – it seems your family is pretty chill and the line on disrespectful behavior is elsewhere.
I think it’s okay for you not to say anything about this. If it does become a problem in the future and your brother in law is unfaithful… it STILL wouldn’t be your fault. I think that for your own mental health and also for the state of your relationship with your brother in law, you should also stop following him on Instagram or anywhere else.
I guess I have a different definition of the term perv. If it does not include children in my mind there is not a lot that would give him that label.
My ex jason was just like this. There was WAY MORE.