I (30M) have been wondering about my four months long relationship with my GF (29F). A big point of contention with her is that I do not spend enough time with her and it makes her feel unwanted. In my defense, I am recovering from circumstances that are getting in the way (untreated anxiety draining a lot of my enthusiasm for doing things and causing burnout), but I also know I am a more solo-fulfilled person than her. It’s not that I don’t want to see my partner, but I am ok with seeing her less and filling the remaining days with other things. Meanwhile she has less local connections and hobbies to fill her time.
Right now I’d say a normal week is a Wednesday date that is maybe a sleepover. Then one of us will go to the other’s place Friday afternoon and stay until Monday morning. In total I’d say we are together a solid three days a week. We could easily do more as we only live ~25 minutes apart but I am wondering what people in this sub think. I am thinking of upping it to four days and a regular phone call but if we go above that I would start having to reduce my exercise schedule, turn down friends and family way more, etc. In my lower moments I feel like I’m being held to the standard of living with her even though we’ve only known each other a short while, but maybe I am really far in the wrong and most people see their partner 5+ days a week. Any feedback is appreciated.
I do know that she is very anxious due to past failed relationships, but I am not sure how much of myself needs to be dedicated to holding her up vs how much she should be working to soothe herself. Maybe this is ultimately a glaring incompatibility? It sucks because I love her but I’m starting to get worried she will leave me due to unfulfillment.
TL;DR anxious GF of 4 months wants to see me seemingly every day. How long do you spend with your partner in similar circumstances.