So I am 26F and I’ve been in a relationship with my ex-fiancé 30M for 8 years. I had some thoughts of breaking it up through the course of our relationship but never followed through out of safety and the potential of the relationship.
I always wanted more but the situation didn’t allow it and so I was living in the future of how it could be one day. We were engaged for a year at that point and I went travelling alone. I wasn’t looking for anyone but it just happened so that I met a guy while on the trip and we really connected and I liked him a lot.
He was a local and we met a few times and eventually things got heated and we had sex. He knew I was in a relationship. When I came back from my trip I really felt conflicted, because I felt immense guilt and shame around what I’ve done, but I also had developed feelings for this guy in such a short amount of time…
I really liked the time with him and felt grateful I had met him, the regret was moreso of hurting my partner. So eventually he found out as he went through my phone and I then told him everything. After long talks and lots of emotions he eventually decided to keep going and try to work it out. So he gave me a chance, which I really respect, because it means that he loves me and this relationship means a lot to him.
After a week I thought a lot of things through and actually decided to end this relationship because I knew there was a reason of why I went that far and for me to even like another guy is already a sign that something’s not right in my relationship. I thought I had to be fair to myself and to him, because I just couldn’t trust myself anymore and didn’t want this to ever happen again.
I thought I was making the right choice by ending things. Now a few weeks have passed and me and my ex have met to talk things through about moving out and stuff and eventually we had sex and there still was passion even though it didn’t feel like that in the past years, it felt more like roommates up to that point, because the daily life has killed any spark we had. Now he wants me back and still wants to work through things and I’m just questioning everything, don’t know what to do at this point. Does anybody have any advice?
I know I am a shitty person for cheating and I also took full responsibility for that. But our communication has been so good after breaking up, that it feels like we still have a chance … I need help
TL:DR I always had thoughts about cheating but didn’t follow through and then it happened when I wasn’t even thinking of it, I just felt like I met such a great person..
Comments
There’s a million straight men out there. Do you really need to go back to one where it didn’t work? You don’t have to, and it’s likely to be ruined by your history together.
Think for yourself what you need out of a relationship to be happy. Hold yourself and your partner to your standards.