We have been together for over a year now. So I have this issue every now and then but I really don’t know if it’s justified to feel upset about it or not. My boyfriend asks me to do things with him that I have zero interest in and (not always) but every now and then I agree because I want to make him happy and spend time with him, that’s the important cue. Examples for this would be going to football games or going to festivals (that I don’t mind but would never go to myself, like if it was just me). The thing is he would never do that for me, about 2-3 times a year id really like to go out to a club with him, because I like dancing. He’s doesn’t like the club so he doesn’t go there with me. He’s embarrassed to dance so he wouldn’t try a single salsa lesson with me. I like other things like sewing or knitting/ fashion too but he wouldn’t join me to go to for an example a fashion show or whatever really. We discussed this before and he’s got this argument that he doesn’t want to go to things that he doesn’t like, because he doesn’t see the point in doing it. He’d rather do something we both enjoy. I’m coming from the standpoint that he’s going to football games for example basically every weekend (so one day of the weekend is already fully occupied with this for him) and like to spend time with him and I know it makes him very happy to be accompanied to this by me and that’s the only reasons why I’m occasionally coming too. The things that I would like to do with him that he’s not into I suggest like maybe once every 2 months and he has never really agreed so far. His point furthermore is if I don’t like football then I shouldn’t come and then I say I’d get to see you way less if I did that and also he keeps asking me even though he knows it’s not a sport I’m interested in. I feel very annoyed whenever these things happen because to break it down it makes me feel like I care more than he does and I do more for him than vice versa. Reading this I feel like maybe this doesn’t seem so deep but the situation constantly lets me feel like I sacrifice my time to be able to spend it with my boyfriend (doing something I have no interest in) but he isn’t willing to do that for me just every now and then.
—-
TL;DR; : My boyfriend isn’t willing to make the same sacrifices for me is I am for him, do I have a right to be upset about that?
Comments
It’s interesting to me that you end your to post by saying that it doesn’t seem that deep now, but to me, your relationship sounds really one-sided. Why don’t you listen to him and stop going to football events if you don’t like them? Yes, you’ll see each other less, but either he’ll be okay with that (which is a separate issue if you view this as a serious relationship) or he won’t and you guys can compromise and go to each other’s events and/or plan things that you’ll both like. The only other option is to accept this because he’s made it clear to you that he doesn’t feel the same way you do and isn’t willing to change. You can’t force him to go to your events. The only thing you can control here is yourself, so you need to decide how important it is for you to be with someone who is interested in your interests