I 37 have mosty been cheated on and used my whole life, so I just gave up with finding a life partner, so now just have friends with benefits.
I met someone I like, but she is only looking for hook ups so fine that’s all it is. I’ve had a vesetomy, and from what she says she just had her tubes tied and wants to go condomless. She says she wants the feeling of well being filled.
Anyways I said no due to after dating for 3 months she has open up she has mutable partners shs sees regularly, and some don’t use any protection. Due to this I’ve said that for my health and safety I want to keep useing condoms.
She got mad at me saying that I’m saying she dirty/slut shaming her. But i only keep stating even if shs gets tested regularly, and partner can lie, and if she is going raw with others, it will make me feel safe keep useing a condom.
Aita for telling her due to her choices of having mutual men I will not fulfill her wishes of not wearing one.
Comments
You’re a fool if you don’t wear one that’s for damn sure.
NTA wear that protection!
I feel like you should know you’re not the asshole?
NTA
First, you can use a condom for any reason. Your body your choice.
Second, you aren’t shaming her. You are trying to protect yourself.
Like you said, people could lie to her and say they are clean. They could even think they were clean and spread it.
Nta and this is pretty obvious. It also has nothing to do w s-shaming(Reddit don’t let me use the word)you just want to be safe. But I feel like she’s intentionally manipulating you w those accusations and you might want to cut things off regardless
NTA, wise and healthy decision on your part (and anyone who tries to sway you from it does not have your best interest at heart)
NTA always wrap it up! Especially if you’re dipping it into the communal bucket.
You’d be stupid not to. NTA
Your health and safety are paramount. You have every right to insist on condoms, especially with her multiple unprotected partners. It’s about safety, not judgment
NTA. How can someone have multiple partners and not understand the significance of protection? Condoms aren’t just a protective measure for pregnancy—it’s also for STD’s. I wouldn’t take that risk if this person doesn’t get tested often as well as her other partners.
NTA, this is sex education 1-0-1. STIs are booming in the US right now too. She needs to grow up, and you may need to find a new hook-up partner.
NTA at all. You are being smart.
Not to be an asshole, but is this the type of person you want to stick your dick in?
Nothing wrong with FWB, but both partners should be practicing safe sex, especially if other people are involved.
If she isn’t willing to protect her own health, then do you want to take a chance wither you wrap it or not? Like you said your health and safety are important.
NTA. She blowing it way out of proportion. Trying to prevent infections is not the same as calling her dirty.
Also that is so fu**inf gross , yes we are kissing and doing things and last night she blowing that guy and he is finishing in her or mouth etc . Please have some self respect and leave
If anyone gets mad because you want to use a condom that’s not a person you wanna stick your Willie in. Nta. Run. Fast
I always have both of us get an STD test before bring with a woman. It isn’t worth your life. If itbupsets someone, then it isn’t worth your time. Whenever I have brought it up, the woman is always happy to hear it. I get tested too, because fair is fair..
No glove no love bb
Absolutely, No glove, No love.
Wear that shit 😂
Personally I wouldn’t want to sleep with a woman who’s been raw dogging it with a bunch of guys regardless. But NTA. Wear a condom if you choose to have sex with Patient Zero.
NTA. You’re not calling her dirty or shaming her; you’re making a decision to not have unprotected sex with someone who has multiple partners, who may also have multiple partners, and whose partners may have multiple partners.
You’d be a fool to have unprotected sex under those circumstances. If she wants to take the risks of rawdogging, that’s on her, but you’re free to make your own choices, too.
Personally, I wouldn’t have sex with her even with a condom, because the risk is too high.
Why don’t you make yourself feel better and find someone else that doesn’t have multiple partners. You hit it on the head with her.
Absolutely not. It’s your body. You absolutely have the right to use condoms regardless of what anyone else wants.
Nta. She’s gross
No. Hard fucking no.
Make it clear you don’t believe she is dirty/slutty. The fact she is sleeping with other men, some of which aren’t using protection, means you NEED to use a condom. This isn’t a matter of who or how many men she’s sleeping with, it’s the simple matter of the possibility she can be infected by other men.
This isn’t a knock on her, she can sleep with whoever she wants. But if she’s sleeping with other men without protection, you need to use protection for your own safety. There is no telling what those other men are sticking their dick in, and if they fuck a woman with an STD and then fuck her the next week, she’s contaminated, and you will be too if you don’t use protection.
A sexual relationship either needs to be exclusive or partners need to use protection.
Nope, if she wants to sleep with multiple guys and go raw that’s her business, but that doesn’t mean you have to be exposed to all of that.
You didn’t call her a sl*t or shame her in any way or even say you would stop seeing/sleeping with her because of it. If that’s where her mind went based on that reasonable decision on your part, it means she sees herself that way. That’s a bit telling in my mind.
I would have ended things with her just from that comment.
if you feel like wearing a rubber, wear a rubber. if you don’t, don’t. being anti-getting a disease is certainly a rational course of action. not everyone is comfortable playing Russian Roulette with pussy.
Maybe keep looking for your life partner and she isn’t it.
Karma farming garbage.
Less than two months ago you posted about one of your sexual partners being positive for HPV https://www.reddit.com/r/VACCINES/s/3E03TqW1qT
Less than a year ago, you were married and in an open relationship in this post https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/s/E85UD9ba2V
NTA- smart man. Keep wearing them. You would be foolish if you didn’t wear them
Yeah you need to wear one, or find a new friend. I think the multiple dudes thing is uncommon.
Smart move
Use a condom. She should be even more concerned, but it’s an issue for everyone. It’s a downer, but use condoms or don’t do it. Beside, are you sure she had her tubes tied?
NTA.
You are being smart.
NTA!!
My ex bf gave me hsv2…
I wish I had asked for them to use a condom.
I’m only 28 and have two autoimmune diseases and the hsv2 has made it so much harder to live.
Also, I’m single by choice and abstain from any sexual interactions to prevent giving it to anyone else.
I’d say to ditch her for making such a fuss over it. I’m sure you can find another woman who will appreciate the fact that you want to protect yourself.
NTA. Don’t raw dog that bro.
She is a time bomb dude, you sure that is the kind of person you want to sleep with?
Could reframe this as you protecting her.
NTA. Run far, run fast. You were wise to plan to wear a condom. And her trying to manipulate you into not using one is a giant waving red flag! I think it’s likely she is lying to you about having her tubes tied.
you’re 37 and part of a roster? mate, get some self respect. That chick is disgusting
NTA. Wrap it. Be smart.
Yeah, you’re going to want to wrap yourself like a present. If she wants to unwrap that present to get herself a gift tell you want her tested blood and vaginal swab. If she’s clean, fill away. But I can guarantee she’s getting filled by multiple men if she’s only interested in hook-ups. If you like russian roulette take your chances but don’t be surprised if you wake up with an itch, discharge or a disease penicillin can’t cure.
WEAR ONE! Don’t let her manipulate you. You didn’t shame her in any way. Protect yourself!
What kind of question is this? You know you’re not the AH. If she’s that adamant about no condoms then you two aren’t compatible as sexual partners. Move along
you can’t be raw dogging that dude
You should be using a condom because you have had multiple partners! And if you don’t want to get her pregnant, you damn well better. You’re not pure.
AIDS is aids is aids lol fuck that rubber up up
NTA!! Thank you for caring about your sexual health. I choose to stay celibate as a woman because I haven’t experienced many men who actually care about sexual health. I have to protect myself from that kinda thing.
You’re smart to want to wear a condom and honestly I’d just cut contact with this one.