TL;DR: I hooked up with my female best friend, who’s also my guy best friend’s ex — we’re all in the same friend group. It’s been nearly 3 years since they broke up and he says he’s moved on, but I’m not entirely sure. There’s real emotional connection between me and her, but I’m also talking to a long-distance girl I really click with — who also happens to be my sister’s best friend. I feel torn, guilty, and confused. Not sure what the right move is.
I (24M) have a female best friend (let’s say A, 25F) I’ve known for 3 years. She dated my male best friend (let’s say C, 26M) briefly years ago, but she wasn’t really into him. C, however, obsessed over her for quite a while — even kept trying to get her back until last year. A never reciprocated, and they’ve just stayed friends in our shared friend group ever since. A and I were always close but kept things platonic — until recently, when we hooked up — first drunk, then sober, then again. Now that it’s happened multiple times, it doesn’t feel like it’s just physical. We’re extremely comfortable together, we talk, cuddle, laugh — and she’s said she’s attracted to me. It’s messing with my head because it feels like something deeper. I am unsure whether this is solely due to the comfort and bond we’ve shared over the last 3 years or if there’s something real.
At the same time, I’ve been talking to another girl (let’s say B, 21F), who’s my sister’s best friend. She lives in another country, so we haven’t met yet, but we click well over text and she matches what I thought I wanted in a relationship. She’s more my type, outgoing, has that Gen Z girlfriend energy, loves sunrises like me, and dances — something I’ve always wanted to share. A, on the other hand, is more shy and introverted but she loves cats and watches anime (like me), and lately has started coming out of her shell in really cool ways. I feel guilty because B doesn’t know about A, and I don’t think she’s seeing anyone else.
To complicate things even more: about a year ago, C (A’s ex and my best friend) once half-jokingly asked me why I shouldn’t date A since we seemed compatible. I said “absolutely not” at the time, because nothing had happened then. He says he’s moved on — but he’s the kind of person who clings quietly, and I don’t know how he’d react if he found out.
I just don’t know how to handle this without hurting anyone or blowing up friendships that matter to me.