I’m 26(F) years old, and I feel so lost, guys. I don’t know how to be social at all. I have kept to myself my whole life except for being around my twin, and I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know where to start. I’m not fond of sports, which is something most people bond over. I just go to work, come home, and go to sleep, scroll on my phone watching YouTube, and I always feel too tired to do anything. But I yearn to be close to others. I just don’t do much, therefore I don’t have much to talk about. I always fade out and never stay in contact with anyone ( my fault). I feel so boring and be around. Do you make friends at work, or do you do meetups? Any advice helps
How do I become more social?
r/Advice
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Now, we’re going to do some studying. Head for your nearest public library.
Conversation is an art form, and there really are books on how to be an interesting talker. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is still on bestseller lists despite the fact that it was written decades ago. That’s a great one to start with.
Check out an ETIQUETTE book. “Etiquette” is the formal name for good manners, and those never go out of style. This might be another thing that turns people off. If you are vulgar, gauche and rude – even unintentionally – nobody will give you a chance. So read up, my friend. I recommend the excellent works of Emily Post and “Miss Manners” (pen name of Judith Martin).
Add a book on party planning to your stack. (Yes, you need it, but we’ll get to that in a moment).
Now! Head for the Fashion and Beauty section. Get some books and magazines on style, cosmetics, hairstyling and fashion.
Now!
Use what you are learning about fashion, and update your wardrobe.
Visit a salon and discuss hairstyles with a good stylist. Get a cut that flatters your features.
Ready to make some friends? The way to do this is MEET PEOPLE. Use every way you can think of to do this.
Join singles groups
If you are in school, do extracurriculars and join student orgs
Join social groups and clubs. Every city has some that will match your interests, from reading groups to sports to fine dining
Use dating apps
Play a sport
Join a gym
Take up new hobbies and hang out where those people do
Take a class in something, like dance or cooking. You will work in groups with other students, plus they often have socials. These skills will also enhance your social life.
Make the rounds of the nightlife, pick a favorite club and get to know the regulars
Have a party for your new friends and the people you are meeting. (This is why I told you to get the book). Encourage your guests to bring someone with them, so you can meet more!people. Double your reach!
You will make friends and hopefully find a love interest. Let your new pals know you’re on the hunt for love.
Give up that “soulmate” shit. People are NOT perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Certainly there is not just 1 person you can be happy with. There are literally thousands of potential matches out there. Go get out there and find one!
This should get you started. Good luck, best wishes, and I mean that. Good health, long life and much happiness to you!
You’re not boring, you’re just stuck in a loop that’s starving your soul. Say yes to small risks a class, a chat, a coffee because connection isn’t magic, it’s momentum.
I’m very introverted but I’ve done things to be more outgoing and social. If I don’t feel like being social in person then I just go on video chatting sites, like Monkey or Chitchat. And in person, I just try to talk to people in a grocery store or something, mostly the employees, just asking random questions about a product I could care less about. Both of those ways are pretty chill, but to make it fun for yourself, then kinda lead the conversation in any of your interests.
You could try to swap scrolling with “micro-interactions”, such as commenting on one post per day in hobby subs (plants, baking, gaming, etc.). Reply to replies. No pressure to “perform”—just practice existing in conversations. There are also ways to garner what I like to call “low-energy social wins”, like joining a library book club (quiet + structured) or a casual art/walking group. No sports? Try trivia nights, board game cafes, or volunteer gigs (animal shelters = less human pressure). And do not forget to anchor to existing routines! – chat with a barista, coworker, or neighbor for 30 seconds. “How’s your Tuesday?” → “Mine’s slow—binging baking videos. Made anything cool lately?”
Remember, “I am boring” is a lie you tell yourself. People bond over vulnerability, not achievements. Ask questions: “What’s your weirdest hobby?” or “Seen anything cool on YouTube lately?” Most crave connection, not entertainment. The key mindset is not to be “interesting”, but to be interested. Curiosity > charisma. And it is okay to leave after 20 mins if you are tired—you showed up. That’s 90% of the battle.
Best of luck to you! 💜
I can relate. I used to be very socal when I was younger, but society, and the way people communicate changed, very quickly. I grew up in the 90’s, before smart phones and social media. I’m very lucky to be a part of the last generation to really live a social life. But because of that, and my unwillingness to adapt to how society interacts with one another, I found myself slacking big time in the social “experience” of today’s society.
Anyway, try the app MeetUps. I believe that’s what it’s called. You can find others near you, who enjoy similar things as you do. Hopefully that works for you. Good luck
I not consider myself as sociable , i just being nice to others. Only talk when needed.