Hi guys
There’s a female coworker at my workplace who always seems kind of irritated or cold whenever she sees me. We’re not in the same department, and we’ve never really interacted in person beyond a casual “hi” in the hallway. Sometimes she greets back, other times she walks past me like I don’t exist.
What’s odd is that she seems friendly and relaxed with others from my department – smiling, chatting, laughing. Just not with me. I generally get along really great with my coworkers, including her colleagues, and there hasn’t been any conflict or awkward situation that I can remember.
For context: I’ve never had more than a “hi” or “hello” with her. I don’t try to start conversations or ask personal stuff like “how’s your day?” – but that’s how I am with everyone at work. Usually, if someone wants to chat, they initiate, and that works fine with most people. With her, it’s really just occasionally a “hi” back, but otherwise absolutely nothing.
The only times we work together are maybe once in a while over email, when she needs help from IT (my department). Those interactions are professional and fine.
But after a while of her cold body language or ignoring me in person, I’m thinking about starting to ignoring her too.
I’m a guy, in case that context matters. We’re also the same age (both 26). I’m not trying to be friends, I just find it strange and disrespectful.
Should I ask her if something’s wrong? Or just keep ignoring and move on?
TL;DR:
Female coworker always seems cold or annoyed around me, even though we barely interact (just the occasional “hi”). She’s friendly with others, and our only real contact is via email when she needs IT help. I’m generally well-liked at work and haven’t done anything to her (that I know of). Should I ask her if there’s an issue or just keep ignoring it?
Comments
just ignore her. likely youve been staring too much because she’s hot
just ignore it and move on, not everyone can like you. just go do your job and be nice to the people who are nice to you and dont worry about that one.
Personally, I’d ignore it. Chances are it’s something to do with her (she’s having a bad day or similar) and she’s just not invested enough in your relationship to do all the niceties (ie she’s just rude and it has nothing to do with you). I lived with someone like this once and asked them and they lost their mind at a me going on about how they don’t have to smile all day 🙄 (I wasn’t asking them to, jeez; just wanted to apologise if I’d inadvertently done something to offend them).
I would continue being polite but not go out of my way to be friendly towards this person. If it’s really bothering you, you could maybe ask a colleague who has a good relationship with you both, but that’s only if it’s getting you down. I don’t think there’s any professional benefit to asking, and I feel there could be negatives if you ask.
She either fancies you and is grossly socially inept (I used to be, so would just ignore men I liked) or she doesn’t like you much and wants to keep it minimum. Either way your response should be the same, brief awkward smiles or nothing. Ultimately it’s not the end of the world if you’re not chatty with everyone, and I wouldn’t take it personally.