The title sounds silly, and I’m not even sure if this is the correct subreddit to post this in so if it isn’t, I apologize.
My boyfriend and I got together a little over a year ago now, and it’s been going very well since. We get along perfectly, he communicates perfectly, and I feel nothing but loved and valued. From what I’ve been told, he’s on the same page!
This being said, little presents and surprises mean so much to me. The only issue with that is that he is not the spontaneous gift giving type and I’m personally still working on asking for what I want/need without feeling ashamed. How do I request that he begins bringing me the occasional “just because” flowers/candies/trinkets? He already insists on paying for dinner 99.9% of the time and buys things for me when I muster up the courage to ask, and I simply don’t want to come off as if I am demanding that he spends more money on me. I have no idea how I’d phrase the question or when I’d bring it up.
TLDR; How do I ask my boyfriend to start bringing home flowers for me for no particular reason?
(My love language is giving/receiving).
Comments
I would lead by example first to see if he takes the hint. That said, if you haven’t already tried to do the same for him (not necessarily flowers) then I must ask why not.
He won’t. Because thats not in his nature. If you are happy with having to ask forever then this could work.. if you think that you can do something that will suddenly make him understand what you want and do it, you will be sorely disappointed.
Dating is to determine compatibility. If this is genuinely important to you then accept that this isn’t the relationship for you as you are incompatible. Otherwise, in twenty years when he has forgotten another anniversary, or got you nothing for mother’s Day and you find yourself complaining and whining that he doesn’t love you, remember this point in time where you could have chosen differently.
how does he show his love for you?
i was in this exact situation – it took him a while to understand that this was important to me because he doesn’t see flowers as a great gift – in his mind they’re just temporary so he doesn’t see the point in them. but i’ve always loved flowers so once he understood that, he was more than happy to get them for me and even learnt my favourite ones 🙂
i would say just communicate with him that this is something important to you, it sounds like he loves and cares for you a lot based on the contents of your post so i can’t imagine he would take it badly.
additionally, make sure it’s a two way street and you also get him ‘just because’ gifts of his favourite snacks/trinkets so that it doesn’t feel too one-sided. you said that your love language was gift giving/ receiving so you may do this anyway!