Edit: thank you everyone, the overwhelming consensus is the parents pay and I’m a little silly to think otherwise. BUT it’s considered a nice gesture if the family member/aunt/me can and is willing to pay.
My niece is coming to visit me in a few weeks, and I’m looking forward to having her. She came a couple years ago, but my sister and I met halfway. This time, she’s flying. My instinct is to offer to cover the flight, but over the last 2 months I’ve had over $2k in unexpected expenses in a year that has been one unexpected expense after another.
But it got me wondering, what is the norm? Are parents expected to pay when sending a kid to family? Or should I pay? Offer to split it evenly? She came with a little spending money last time, but I covered pretty much everything but the gifts she got her family and friends.
I know I could just ask my sister, but I am curious how other families arrange these sorts of visits.
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Parents pay to get her to you. Unless there is an extenuating circumstance and they cannot afford it, end of story.
I think it depends on who is doing the asking?
When I send my kids to my brother I pay their travel. Actually that’s regardless of whether he asks for them to come or I suggest it. I feel like as a parent travel expense is mine to bear.
My brother and his wife are child free, I don’t think that really matters but info if needed.
I’ve never heard of anyone but the parent paying tbh? (Maybe grandparents?)
I feel like you offering a place to stay and paying for all activities, food etc. is enough…
I would think the parents would pay for it, as I assume you’d be paying for expenses while your niece is visiting. I don’t think it’s fair for the parents to expect that from you, nor should you feel obligated. And if your impulse is to be generous, it’s probably good to curb that since you can’t really afford it. Treat your niece to something fun instead!
The only exception I can think of, is one time my aunt flew me and my sister out for a visit but she used her airline miles. So it was basically free for her and would have been prohibitively expensive for my mom.
Parents pay. You hosting her is giving them free childcare and a break. They can pay.
It depends on the financial situation of you and the parents tbh. My parents have paid for my flights but so have my uncles. If her parents can afford it and you can’t that’s ok. You’re gonna cover everything else
As the aunt to 6 nieces and nephews… I have on occasion, with parents approval, sent a flight voucher to a niece / nephew, as a proper gift, normally when they were missing me or having a tough time in life. But that is a choice. If my brothers and sister-in-laws call me and ask if their kiddo can come spend a week of their summer, their march break, etc. with me– they are paying 100% for that flight and making sure the kiddo has everything they need to safely and comfortably get from them to me. I pay for their stuff when they are in town with me, everything 100%, as it was my choice to say yes to them visiting… Honestly, when I was a kid and would fly to my grandparents my mom would always send me with cash so I could offer in politeness to pay for my expenses through the trip.
Someone you trust looking after your kid / giving you a break from parenting is more than enough generosity… Expecting other adults to share the financial burden of you choosing to have a kid is just imposing.
Her parents should pay for her flight. You can pay for her food but they should also send money with her for food. Anything extra you do you should pay for.
When I was a kid, one of my aunts and her husband paid for each of their nieces and nephews (including myself) to come visit them for a weekend when we turned 13. It was explicitly framed as a special gift, so yes, they paid. We did not visit them without our parents at other times, given the distance.
Any other times I visited other aunts or uncles, my parents arranged transportation, unless it was driving distance away and the aunt/uncle picked us up.
Yeah, parents pay for their kids as a default. You could very kindly offer if it was financially possible for you, or her presence was of some use to you (she was going to help around the house after surgery or look after your dog during a really busy time at work).
Otherwise it’s travel for the kids benefit, so the parents pay.
Parents pay flight and maybe some pocket money. The rest is on the aunt, at least in my experience.
Your sister’s kid, she should pay. She’s getting free babysitting from you, you’re feeding and taking care of kid out of pocket.
They parents absolutely should be paying 100%! Without question!
The way I see it, you are helping her sister by taking her kid for a few weeks. Even if you enjoy your niece’s company, you are not obligated to open your home to her for that long. So the least the parents’ can do is pay for the flight.
It’s strange to me that you’re even in the position of wondering about this. By all means ask your sister if she’s going to pay the fare if it will give you peace of mind. But if your sister acts shocked that you would expect her to pay for her own kid’s transportation, please don’t take it to heart! I totally get that finances are tight. But there’s no reason for you take on that level of expense when you are doing her a big favor already.
Why would you pay to see your niece? It’s a nice gesture but I’m not sure it’s to be expected? Are they there to help you out?
My aunt offered to pay, but parents are paycheck to paycheck and in debt. I’m an adult but also paycheck to paycheck. Auntie is LOADED. Like a big boat AND a little boat. (TWO BOATS???) And just hit a lot of money on a lottery ticket.. And I still wouldn’t expect her to pay.
If you invited her, you pay
If she asked, her parents should pay
Parents pay and should be sending $ to cover expenses. You’re an extremely cheap, extremely trusted babysitter, worth it’s weight in gold.
I am a parent. Parents always pay. If you pay it would be an amazing gift and worthy of a ton of appreciation!!
Parents would never expect someone else to pay
I always paid anytime my kids flew anywhere
One thing to consider is if you have the means to pay and would like her to visit more often then you could offer to pay.
I’ve had family offer for my kids to come visit but the cost of flying has meant I have been unable to take them up on the offer.
I’m a parent and have always paid when my daughter went to visit her aunt. Her aunt then spoiled her by taking her out to eat, buying cool presents etc but transportation was my problem. Very kind of you to want to offer though!
The understanding in our family is my sister pays to send her kids out to see me. I pay for everything else, food, fun stuff, etc. She still sends me money here and there to help with the fun stuff, but I bear the brunt usually. It’s a win win. She gets a break from responsibilities and I get bonding time with my niblings.
The parents absolutely pay. You’re hosting and probably feeding and doing all those other things. The parents get a break and you get to see the kid. Everybody wins.
Whoever initiated the visit should pay. If you invited her you should pay. If the parents /she requested the visit they should pay.