How being cheated on has affected me

Have you experienced cheating that has caused you to carry trauma in to your future relations? How did you overcome it?

I was cheated on multiple times in my late teens and early 20s (41 M). One of those times, the girl hooked up with my brother while I was asleep in another room. I’ve been through one failed marriage (11 years) since then and one 14 month relationship. I realize that I have communication and attachment issues as a result of this. I sometimes find it difficult to have tough conversations with my partners about concerns that I’m feeling. So, I avoid a lot of these conversations. I fall hard and fast in love and completely ignore any red flags (even though I have my own 🤣), until later in the relationship. I become very attached and slowly start to find things that bother me. It’s like a vicious cycle of attachment and avoiding conversations. So when things get bad, I find an escape plan. This is a way for me to control the situation and avoid any unplanned heartbreak (or cheating). I’m also ok with my partners being with other guys. Again, this is my way of controlling the cheating. To me, it’s not cheating if you’re in control of the situation. Has anyone else experienced these same feelings because of your past trauma? I’ve sought out professional help, but I’m curious to see if anyone else has had experience in this realm.

TLDR: being cheated on has caused me attachment and communication issues