I’m guy in my thirties (33M) living in NYC with a fairly high salary (~$200K/year) that has allowed me save and invest a large portion of my income. Combined with a well timed bonus from work in 2020 and a bit of a head start from my parents (no school debt, some investments from childhood) I’ve managed to get my net worth to about $920,000 right now, all invested. Based on my current projections I can likely retire in ~10 years or less. I also have a sizeable inheritance that may be put into a trust soon (~$1.5M). I originally posted this on the Financial Independence sub, hence the specific numbers, but they told me this was more appropriate for a relationship sub.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend (32F) for almost two years now. She has some debt, mostly school loans but also some credit card debt. I don’t think the credit card debt is a ton, she has a plan to pay it off and is using balance transfers to avoid paying interest. She just got a new job making $100K/year and is planning to use her sign on bonus to put a large lump sum towards one of her credit cards and entirely pay it off. She is not accruing any more debt. She does live somewhat paycheck-to-paycheck though since life is expensive here in the city, and she has a dog. I don’t think she has much in her 401k, maybe a few thousand.
She’s made some poor financial decisions in the past, but I know she has a good head on her shoulders and is working hard to turn things around. I’ve told her about my plans to retire early, but I have not given her any dollar amounts. She is on board with being much more financially minded going forward and taking retirement saving/investing much more seriously. We do not want kids.
That being said, she is also of the mind that a woman should not be reliant on a man for money and she should have her own resources and money always. I admire this and agree with her point of view. I am also someone who wants an independent partner who can support themselves and be an equal partner in the relationship, not a dependent.
We do not want kids, and honestly aren’t even sure we see a point in marriage either. I think the main reason we would get married is if we wanted to move abroad (EU) and getting married would make it much easier for her to obtain citizenship since I already have EU citizenship. We’ve both agreed a prenup is necessary if we do get married.
My issue is that, with all this said, I will have the ability to retire much sooner than she will. On her own she probably wouldn’t have the ability to retire early at all unless something were to significantly change with her career/income.
We still don’t live together but we said when we do we would split expenses equitably.
I’m not sure exactly what I’m asking her but I’m wondering if others have been in a similar situation and how it was handled. Do I just suck it up and accept that I’m going to have to share lots of my money with her. Or maybe I’ll have to work a while longer so we can hit our combined FIRE number together with mostly my contributions? Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: I have the ability to retire early in ~10 years, my girlfriend will not. How can we handle finances to prevent resentment?