I 22F, Muslim, West African moved out against family’s will to escape my toxic, abusive father

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I need helppp🥲 if you look at my profile you will see that I have been trying to move out for a while. I have been trying to move out since 2021. I left my house 2 weeks ago. I only decided to stay at home because I knew how expensive life is out there and life is easier for me financially. Now I have cut off my father and am not on my own (financially) am having to figure out health, medical insurance, dental, I’m paying for my own phone bill now.

Right now, I’m staying with one of my girlfriends who was kind enough to let me stay with her.

Meanwhile, my dad is acting like the victim in this situation. Making me look like the bag guy. Acting like he cares about me so people can feel pity and convince me to move back in with him. He’s been spreading rumors and telling people stories about me. He really just cares about his reputation, how people will think if his 22 year old unmarried daughter isn’t living with him anymore. The funny thing is, I stayed with him longer than I should have because I didn’t want him to have a bad reputation and because of guilt. I have dealt with so much abuse, I was tired. But now that I’ve left, he’s trying to ruin mine, telling people I moved out for stupid reasons, trying to turn people against me, and encouraging others to call and harass me. My close friends know I moved out to escape him, not to do whatever the hell I want. He has a very traditional West African Muslim mindset

I’ve cut off most of my family. Every time a family member calls, I block them. The only ones I’m still close to are my brothers—especially one who’s been in Gambia for three years against his will. He’s been trying to come back to the U.S., but my father has been withholding his documents. That’s a whole other story, but it’s incredibly manipulative and I hate him for it. I’ve never hated anyone in my life before, but I truly hate him.

Right now, I only have about $900 in my bank account, so I know I’m not financially secure. I currently work about 32 hours because of summer so I will earn a bit more as the weeks go by. I was thinking about applying for a job in Michigan (I am from Seattle) and looking for a room to rent through Facebook or similar platforms.
Do you all think I’ll be okay doing that? Or is it too risky, would I end up homeless? I really want to leave Seattle and leave my toxic family and my toxic West African community behind. I have many stories

Comments

  1. SubstantialString866 Avatar

    Maybe look for an apartment complex near a college or university where the community will be your age and it’s normal for a single woman to be looking for a room by herself and everyone is living away from their parents. The employers will also be looking for your age range and will be excited that you can offer flexible and full time availability. 

  2. Varathane Avatar

    You might want to check out jobs that have staff housing : https://www.coolworks.com/jobs-with-housing
    That way you don’t have to worry about deposits. It can help you save up, and you’ll be miles away from you Dad 🙂