I (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have a 4-month-old baby. I’m a stay-at-home mom and exclusively breastfeeding. I decided to stop working for a year to focus on caring for our baby, especially since we don’t have any family around to help. We also don’t want to leave our baby with just anyone, so all the care falls on me.
We live in his parents’ house—not my first choice, but he was uncomfortable living in my home, so I compromised. He works and provides for me, the baby, and his family, and while I do appreciate that he’s a good provider and a good father in many ways, I’m struggling.
As a SAHM, I handle everything: caring for the baby, breastfeeding, and all the chores. The routine is nonstop, and even though we live with his family, it’s mostly just me and the baby—I have no help and no adult interaction most days. I’m overstimulated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. My baby is in a sleep regression and doesn’t want to be put down, so I barely get 20–30 minutes to eat or shower before he wakes up crying again.
Despite everything I’m juggling, my boyfriend constantly asks me for blowjobs. I usually say no because I’m physically and emotionally drained. When I say no, he gets mad. Sometimes I say “maybe tomorrow” just to get him off my back, but then he gets angry when I don’t follow through. He doesn’t seem to understand how tired I am or respect my boundaries, and it’s pushing me toward postpartum rage.
After I gave birth, I told him I didn’t want any sexual activity until the baby was at least 6 months old. But when the baby was just 2 months, he forced himself on me even though I said I didn’t want to. He still went through with it.
I’m tired of feeling pressured into doing things I’m not comfortable with and constantly arguing when I say no. I feel disrespected and disconnected. I just want to rest when I can without being guilted or made to feel like a bad partner.
So AITA for refusing to give him blowjobs, even though he’s providing for us financially?
TL;DR:
I’m a SAHM and exclusively breastfeeding a 4-month-old baby with no help or rest. My boyfriend constantly pressures me for sexual favors (specifically blowjobs), and gets angry when I say no even though I’ve made it clear I’m exhausted. He even forced himself on me 2 months after birth despite me saying I wasn’t ready. AITA for refusing him?
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/Uniqueunicorn00:
I (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have a 4-month-old baby. I’m a stay-at-home mom and exclusively breastfeeding. I decided to stop working for a year to focus on caring for our baby, especially since we don’t have any family around to help. We also don’t want to leave our baby with just anyone, so all the care falls on me.
We live in his parents’ house—not my first choice, but he was uncomfortable living in my home, so I compromised. He works and provides for me, the baby, and his family, and while I do appreciate that he’s a good provider and a good father in many ways, I’m struggling.
As a SAHM, I handle everything: caring for the baby, breastfeeding, and all the chores. The routine is nonstop, and even though we live with his family, it’s mostly just me and the baby—I have no help and no adult interaction most days. I’m overstimulated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. My baby is in a sleep regression and doesn’t want to be put down, so I barely get 20–30 minutes to eat or shower before he wakes up crying again.
Despite everything I’m juggling, my boyfriend constantly asks me for blowjobs. I usually say no because I’m physically and emotionally drained. When I say no, he gets mad. Sometimes I say “maybe tomorrow” just to get him off my back, but then he gets angry when I don’t follow through. He doesn’t seem to understand how tired I am or respect my boundaries, and it’s pushing me toward postpartum rage.
After I gave birth, I told him I didn’t want any sexual activity until the baby was at least 6 months old. But when the baby was just 2 months, he forced himself on me even though I said I didn’t want to. He still went through with it.
I’m tired of feeling pressured into doing things I’m not comfortable with and constantly arguing when I say no. I feel disrespected and disconnected. I just want to rest when I can without being guilted or made to feel like a bad partner.
So AITA for refusing to give him blowjobs, even though he’s providing for us financially?
TL;DR:
I’m a SAHM and exclusively breastfeeding a 4-month-old baby with no help or rest. My boyfriend constantly pressures me for sexual favors (specifically blowjobs), and gets angry when I say no even though I’ve made it clear I’m exhausted. He even forced himself on me 2 months after birth despite me saying I wasn’t ready. AITA for refusing him?
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NTA and I want to say this as gently as possible… when he forced you to have sex… that was rape. You said no and he made you. This isn’t a safe relationship. Do you have anywhere else you and the baby can go? I’m concerned for you.
How do you live in his parents house and have noone around? If you’re going to say that his parents don’t live there, how is the fact they own the home pertinent to the story?
NTA, and oh my gosh I am so sorry youre experiencing this. He forced himself onto you? That is grounds for leaving him. If that wasnt bad enough, it’s the fact that it sounds like he doesn’t help with the baby at all. I’m so worried about you..
NTA and you need to RUN FAR AND FAST
As soon as he forced himself that’s it he shouldn’t be having sex nevermind getting blow jobs.
NTA – He is a criminal and you can press charges for that in the USA, and I would. Not sure where you are from but he needs to be in prison. Working does not give you permission to R the mother of your child.
Just to clarify, we live in his parents’ house, but even though we’re staying there, there aren’t any family members available to help with the baby. His parents work full-time and are only home in the evenings, so during the day, it’s just me and the baby. That’s why I mentioned that I don’t really have help or support — I’m on my own all day.
We ended up living here because he was uncomfortable staying at my family’s house, and we don’t have a place of our own yet. He does help with the baby when he gets home from work, and I appreciate that, but the majority of the care especially during the day and overnight — still falls on me.
You need to move yourself and baby back into your family home. He didn’t “force himself” on you and he isn’t a good provider – he raped you. Get away from this man.
Your partner is not a „great provider“. Please take off your rose-colored glasses. He‘s very self-centered. Don’t let him mess with your mental health, i‘d move to my parents or family, if i was you. He‘s not worth it and he will eventually show you. NTA.
Forcing a partner to have sex is never acceptable.
Reading between the lines, it sounds like you’re a SAHM which is a valuable role. However, the balance between income and expenses matters a lot, especially since you’re currently living with his parents. You’ll need financial support to become independent and move out.
Since it’s his parents’ house, how much housework are you contributing? Yes you are giving your child 100% of your attention, good, but that will have to end soon.
It sounds like you’re feeling depressed and need to find a way to improve your situation, getting a job might be a good step.
He’s likely also struggling with the financial burden and coming home to his parents’ house and a depressed partner who isn’t engaging with him sexually, even at a basic level.
I might feel more sympathy for him if it weren’t for the fact that he forced you into sex, which is again, unacceptable.
Edit: NTA, OP’s reply makes me think she is a boss.
He doesn’t feel comfortable at YOUR parents house because he can’t control and manipulate you there, you’d have support. He raped you honey, and could have done irreparable damage if you weren’t healed enough for sex at that time. He raped you. You said no, he did it anyway. There’s no making it sound nice. He had consent or he didn’t. If he didn’t, it’s rape. You said no. It’s rape.
Edited for a typo
Well nobody is going to give you any advice about sexual relations after childbirth because you casually mention that your husband raped you. So the only advice we can give you is “leave, divorce, tell the police”.
The second he placed his pleasure above your consent is the second he lost the right to be your bf.
You need to start making a plan to leave.
NTA
The bar is in hell.
NTA, OP. It’s crazy how tiring being a SAHM can be. You’re entitled to rest and comfort without feeling guilty.
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NTA he raped you leave with your child that scumbag I hope soon to be ex boyfriend isn’t entitled to sex no one is
NTA, that’s rapey and you need to get yourself out and safe.
Even without his sexually assaulting you he is still in the wrong. Please leave, please get help.
NTA and this behavior is very concerning.
NTA, been with my partner 12 years and she’s not a fan of giving them. There’s other ways to accomplish an end
OP, him forcing himself on you after you told him no is rape. Demanding handy js when you’re exhausted is disrespect & objectifying you.
If only men could understand how much more likely they’d be to get sex if they’d take a few minutes just stop & take charge by doing little things like help with the kids or some household tasks.
Nta and he’s not a loving person or a good father when he raped you.
Can you move on with your parents or back to your old place? I know you want to care for your baby but in this toxic relationship you can’t for your own safety. Him being a provider is NO excuse for raping you and treating you like rubbish. Do you want this pathetic excuse of a person as an example to your son? The compromise isn’t worth it
He raped you, and you’re cleaning up after not only him but apparently his family as well. And he’s begging you for sex acts you’re not interested in?
Friend, this is not a good person. I’m scared for you reading this. Please find someone in your real life who can help you get out of this situation.
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Go to your parents. Leave him at his house. HES making YOU uncomfortable. Not to mention the rape. Forcing or coercion. Sa/rape. Let’s not down play that. ANY points he mighve gotten from being a “good provider/father” was lost the second that happened and he kept asking you for something you very clearly said no to.
So again, please go to your parents house and get some actual support
He raped you. YATAH if you don’t leave his ass.
NTA
I was gonna say, don’t say “mybe tomorrow” when what you actually mean is no. That just confuses guys and frustrates them. But then I read this: “But when the baby was just 2 months, he forced himself on me even though I said I didn’t want to. He still went through with it.” This is what we call rape. Now after having read this, he doesn’t deserve any blowjobs from you ever again. Get the hell out of his parents house, find a safe place, get rid of the rapist.
You gave birth to his child! He should be by your side, supporting you, helping you. Not raping you. That is a big no no. And it seems that hasn’t occured to you at all. It really should. Please take care of yourself.
NTA
Please go back to your home and I’m sorry but you should never ever be a SAHM to a boyfriend. He’s trapped you and made you dependent on him, and you have no legal entitlement to any of the money he earns because you’re not married and it’s not shared money. And these are problems on their own before even factoring the unreasonable blow job situation.
He raped you two months after the birth. You need to get out ASAP!
NTA. As people are telling you, there is a word for when someone forces themself on you. I know that’s hard to take in. But the pestering and anger about not receiving BJ’s is a form of coercion and abuse, whether it is intended to be or not, and it can cause a lot of harm.
I’m so sorry, and I’m worried about you. And I’m here to say you are NTA saying no. No means no, and no is okay. No one gets to punish you emotionally for saying what you want to happen with your body.
Just to be clear when you have a 2-4 month old baby you are not a stay at home mom. You are on maternity leave and taking care of a baby whilst managing your sleep and hormones is a full time job. Chores should be split, and when your husband is home he should be taking care of you as best as he can.
It sounds like he’s only interested in his own needs and is comfortable sexually assaulting his partner. He needs a reality check and you need some help.
Omg I’m so sorry you were raped. Girl any chance you can get home to your parents?
Legally hell have to financially provide for his child if it comes to that and you’d be safe.
God I cant even imagine how you are feeling.
NTA if it wasn’t obvious yet- you don’t owe your body to your partner. My boyfriend would never, sometimes Im just overstimulated from life, and the boy goes three months without sex, with a smile. Like sure he’s sad and sure he’d love 4-5 times a week, but he has straight up told me if I woke up and never wanted to have sex again for the rest of my life, he wouldn’t cheat, he wouldn’t leave and at best he’d miss it a lot and dream about us when he helped himself- he’s never gotten me pregnant or had a kid with me 😂. This is normal girly, what you are experiencing is not. Its not normal, its not safe.
NTA 1. Living with his parents is not a ‘good provider’. 2. Forcing sex on you is rape. 3. If he is so desperate for sex, BJs, etc tell him he has a hand, go take a shower. 4. Move home to your parents now.
He’s not a provider, he’s a rapist. I know being a single mother is hard, but do you really want your son to grow up around a man who has no respect for women?
Refusing to give him blowjobs even though he is proving financially??? You are not a freaking hooker. No, you are not an AH, he is. Get you and your child out of that horrible situation
Why would you stay with your rapist?
He forced himself on you and went through with it. Rape is still a thing when you are in a relationship or married, honey. I would leave as soon as possible before he potentially becomes more aggressive when he wants his way. Also, as someone who had a spouse rape her for years because I struggled to find a way out, it will leave trauma.
First you say neither of you have family living near you then you state that you live with his parents & he provides for you, the baby, & his family. This doesn’t make sense. 1. If neither of you had family living around you then you COULDN’T be living with his family. 2. If he is providing for all of you then you DO have family living around you that could help with the children. Doesn’t make sense at all.
So your husband raped you… wtf.
You buried the lead on this post essentially your boyfriend raped you. At the point where somebody would force themselves on you, you need to get out of the relationship.
i’m so sorry but he has already raped you. that is a most disgusting form of abuse, even if he has never mistreated you in any other way you can’t ignore it. if you’re not ready to end the relationship immediately you need to at least move back into your parents house with the baby to give yourself some space and safety to think for a while.
He r*ped you. Please find a way to leave him no matter what it takes
Please please leave. He raped you and is employing sexual coercion on a daily basis. Read this post as if it’s from your friend or sister – I think you know what you would tell her to do
Anyone who would rape a woman would probably also rape a child. Get your baby out of there.
You’re already doing everything on your own so move back home with your family please please please. You’re not in a safe environment
The TL;DR should just be: My partner’s a rapist, I’m stuck with his baby, AITA?
I’m scared for you, can you get out?
Hon, this man is not a friend in any way shape or form. NTA.
I’m sorry but he’s not a good husband, partner, or father if he forced himself on you. That’s rape. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not. Rape is rape. And now he’s trying to coerce you into oral.
NTA.
Take your baby and go home.
Leave him now.
yta for this fake karma farming rage bait
Make sure you are not pregnant with a second child.
6months ? Me personally I feel like that’s too long. I would have left you. as far as him being pushy that’s not right either.
NTA, please move back in with your own family
Your boyfriend forced himself on you when you didn’t want to?? BJs are the least of your problems here. That man raped you. Please take your child and go back home to your family. This man child is 26 and making you live with his family instead of providing a roof for the 3 of you?? Girl, get out now.
your boyfriend raped you and he doesn’t respect your words. you need to find a job and escape because this isn’t a safe environment for you nor the baby
Just to add more context about why we’re living in his parents’ house and not mine:
My boyfriend and I got into a relationship back in college, and at that time, my parents didn’t approve of me having a boyfriend. I still chose to be with him and did what I could to protect him from the conflict, but there’s been tension ever since especially between him and my dad, whose way of speaking can be really harsh and sometimes insulting. That history created a long-standing rift, and to be honest, my dad can still be immature and say hurtful things even now.
The pregnancy was also unplanned. I went to the ER with what I thought was abdominal pain or GERD, only to find out I was already pregnant. That discovery came as a shock to both me and my family, and it became another reason they weren’t happy with my boyfriend.
Despite that, I still bring my baby and stay at my family’s home about once a month for a week. They love my son and treat him well, and things are generally okay now but emotionally, I still carry a lot of weight from how things used to be. I’ve even wanted to get away from them in the past because of how they talk to me.
I also have to admit, part of the reason I’m hesitant to leave my boyfriend right now is financial. As a SAHM with no income, it’s scary to imagine not having any support. And even though he helps with the baby sometimes and provides financially, there are times I feel like I can’t talk to him openly. If I bring up anything serious or emotional, he often takes it the wrong way, and it turns into an argument. That’s left me feeling alone and helpless more than once.
So it’s not a perfect situation on either side with my parents or with him. I’m trying to navigate all of it the best I can while still taking care of my baby full-time, mostly alone.
So he raped you? Nta. Please seek help, it will not get better.
You need to get a plan, get help and get away from this abuser and rapist. You are NTA but please be strong and get away. You deserve better.
Guuurrrlll. You got yourself in a trap. Stay at home girlfriend dependent on his parents. Thiss kind of dependency leads to abusive situations. Hes saying he gets sex no matter what because “money”. It’s not good longterm. Think about your LT prospects….
NTA. It’s become another chore not an act of love.
You are NTA and you need to get out. This is a toxic environment and it will only get worse. Call your family and have them come move you in with them ASAP
He forced you to have sex. When you told him to stop, he didn’t. That’s rape.
The reason you do not want to give blowjobs goes beyond post partum depression. The fundamental trust in your relationship is broken. I would tell him no to sex from now on. Refuse also to sleep in the same bed. Different rooms would be best even if you have to get a blow up mattress… which would just be temporary because you really need to move.
Is there someone you can move in with that can help you out, like family or a close friend? I think you really need to leave because you aren’t safe where you are.
You can go to a women’s shelter with your child and not tell him where you’re going. You don’t have to stay at his parent’s house where you will probably be raped again. They will give you the support you need to get back on your feet and then you can get child support.
Definitely, leave him.
He didn’t pressure you. He raped you. He’s a rapist.
So he doesn’t help with his baby or household chores, doesn’t respect you or your feelings, rapes you when you said you didn’t want sex and wants blow jobs constantly when you’re exhausted from caring for his baby and the house alone. What does HE bring to the table? I think you’re better off without him. You and your baby need a real man not some spoiled, entitled man-baby rapist! I think it’s time to move on!
Your boyfriend raped you. Don’t sugar coat that. You need to get your baby and get the hell outta dodge.
If he’s willing to rape you so easily imagine what he would do to your baby when you’re not around, sooner or later he won’t have you to abuse and there will be another victim, you need to really focus on that part and not the “but he helps me sometimes” part, if you’re willing to compromise yourself for some “help” then I suggest you put that baby up for adoption and refrain from having more kids. The reality is statistically speaking if something happens to your baby because of your BF you will not take the side of the child knowing full well what has been done to you. That child deserves a stable home and mother and to no be at risk or sexual abuse
Marital rape is still something to be aware of.
You’re NTA but neither is he. Unless he actually did force sex on you. That is rape and that is next level messed up. You should divorce him if that is accurate.
But asking for sexual intimacy with you is not being an asshole. He might be going about it like one. I would suggest some couples therapy to get you both on the same page.
But again, if he seriously raped you, you need to leave. It will only get worse through your marriage.
Yes. Next question.
Isn’t it interesting that a man behaves like this, but can’t figure out why his partner isn’t swooning over being physical with him. NTA, and this isn’t going to stop with him, so I strongly urge you to gtfo of that house. This is not a safe or secure place for you to reside. Not even close.
Good father, my ass. Call a rapist a rapist.
NTA. A lot of responses have validated what you are going through. The early party of child birth is really really hard. If I may, let me jump into problem solving right away.
Sounds like you and him need to have your needs met.
I am not absolving him of responsibilities. He needs to emotionally validate you and make you feel seen and heard. He also needs to learn ways to control his anger, his libido and other needs. Some questions to consider- Was he able to do this before the baby or has he always been inflexible? Did he just change due to the baby? Did he change thinking his parents’ place somehow offers him some kind of power?
Have you talked to in-laws to see if they can help out with small tasks? I have friends who have openly talked to both set of parents on what kind of help can the parents provide during pregnancy and after birth.
Have you talked about considering a part time Au-pair to help with your needs and baby’s needs? I know money must be tight (isn’t it always) but you guys need to figure out a budget that will help you both get what you need. It means you’ll have to cut out things you both want or maybe take loans from family. Can your parents pay for part time Au-pair? Can you see financial counselors to help figure out budget?
Otherwise are you prepared to let him have his needs met elsewhere? I know reddit will downvote me for suggesting this.
Consider getting therapy to get validation for how you are feeling and process solutions.
NTA. That’s rape. He needs to be charged with sexual assault and you need to leave him asap. No is no and he’s not respecting your boundaries. Time to get out.
What’s with some men? He has 2 hands.
Omg are you okay? If he forced himself on u and u didn’t want to then that’s not okay. Break up. you deserve better 💙
You are seriously asking if you should keep giving BJs to a man who RAPED you. I really hope this is rage bait. If it’s not, think very carefully about what you just typed. I don’t care how much of a “good provider” he is. There is no level of “providing” that makes RAPE excusable.
NTA and your partner sexually assaulted you, he is not a good man or partner. Abhorrent. You can leave him and still get child support
—
The father of your child is raping you
That’s the bottom line
This is rape. You need to reach out for help with the baby and get away from him. File a police report, something.
Nta, he raped you. Babies are tough. It isnt a cake walk and most people arent ready for it. That being said in a relationship sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do. Its called compromise and this reason here is why onlyfans and prostitutes main customers are married men. You cant just up and decide im not having sex Preemptively and expect your husband to accept that. Not saying he shouldnt care for your needs or force himself on you but thats a shitty bargain. One i dont think i could ever choose. I dont see why people think they can just abdicate parts of a healthy relationship expect no consequences ( not the rape). why wouldnt he be mad, just like you are? You both arent getting what you want and the walls go up and you guys become the enemy and start antagonizing each other. Theres more to this story though.
Tell him to make friends with a gay guy. They’re much better at blowjobs than women. It’s about having a dong.
Do he raped you
Hon, he raped you and continues to coerce you. You’re TA to yourself if you don’t leave him.
First I want to say Rape is never ok and has long term effects. If he had not raped you, and let you have time..then you might have been attracted to him as you were before… prob before six months because he was showing you love and respect. Even if you dont realize it… the rape killed most if not all of your respect for him. When a woman no longer respects her man … the love dies shortly after as well. Him forcing you or constant nagging you about sex is a total turnoff but men dont always realize this because a man that does this is selfish. He is probably even jealous of his own child. The longer this goes on with the combo of exhaustion from being a new mom…. Your self esteem is going to get worse. Can you tell I have been here before? Minus the rape but totally caring for a new baby, working, exhausted, and husband pressuring for sex. If and thats a big IF…you still want this marriage to work…You need to have a serious discussion about how you felt about the rape and your expectations on dual parenting and care for the baby. Prob counseling too for him to learn how he impacts you and how too be a proper husband. If you walk away from that discussion with him really realizing the error of his ways and true remorse for all he has done to you… and IF you still love him after all that there might be a chance. I always believe saving a marriage is better… as long as all are truly working toward healthy relationship. If not… the sooner you count your losses and get away from him the better. You have to have healing for yourself in order to be in the mindset to succeed at anything else. If he isnt part of that solution, then he is a contributor to the problems. Unfortunately having children seems to bring out sides of people you never thought were there.
Anything other then yes, is no.
Move back to your house with your baby.
Obviously NTA
But you should leave that piece of shit yesterday
NTA. Him forcing himself on you is NOT OKAY. HE is the bad partner, not you. Can you stay with your family? If so, call them to come help you leave. He’s sexually abusing you. Get out while you can before he starts hitting you.
I’m sorry…but this “good father” sexually assaulted you. It’s called rape. He can go to hell with his requests and you need to take the baby and go to your family if you can. Leave him!
He raped you and he’s constantly asking for blowjobs… You shouldn’t even be asking if you’re the AH. Tell him you need space, move back in with your folks and distance yourself. If he starts giving you hell, tell him straight up that he raped you and see how he responds.
As a working parent with a stay-at-home wife with two little ones at home, I can say from experience that his job is easier than yours right now. You have a full time job keeping your precious baby well-fed, nurtured, and alive. He should be doing EVERYTHING he can to make sure you are comfortable and sane when he’s around, not asking for blowjobs every chance he can. You should be pumping enough milk so that YOU can sleep on weekends instead of him. As the mother, you need the rest and breaks more than he does right now, because truthfully leaving the house to go to work is a break.
The fact that he can’t respect your boundaries, and just jerk off if he really needs the release, means that he’s a total scumbag and you need to get away from him. It will be tough for a while, but single moms come out stronger and better off rather than staying in these toxic relationships.
NTA – sex without consent is rape. You verbally said no, there is no ambiguity, he raped you. You and your child are not safe. Also you are 4 months postpartum, the deadbeat shouldn’t be leaving you with all the chores. Perhaps a greater share once you are up to it, but not all of them and certainly not this soon.
Terrible situation. He cares nothing for you. Move in with your folks and sue for child support before he hurts you
Oh god okay.
This isnt a relationship you need to work on,this is genuinely not okay.You need to get out of that.Because a man who cant take no for an answer could hurt you seriously.
It will never get better. Pack up and goooooooo!
NTA why didn’t he want to live in your house? Is it because he doesn’t have to do anything adult related if he’s still living at home? Move back to your house OP’s doing all the work anyway might as well have peace.
NTA. Rape. GTFO NOW.
What an absolute car crash of a post
Ok so he raped you?
You’re wondering if you’re the AH for not wanting to give your rapist blowjobs?
NTA, this man technically raped you, doesn’t respect your ask for no sex for 6 months until you’re healed down there, and in my opinion if he wants a bj he should earn it by marrying his baby’s mother, and getting you your own house or condo or something to raise your kid. As a man I find this dude beyond immature and inconsiderate.
Ummm so he’s ok with raping you just to get what he wants and to get his rocks off?! Run girl… Run fast cause it’s just gonna get worse and you have enough on your plate with a baby. Go home to your family. If you stay for much longer you’ll start to resent him plus your trust in him/people/anyone really will dwindle and your way better than that
He’s a great provider but you live with his parents?
NTA in any universe ever! No matter the situation you are never obliged to provide any sexual act to anyone, boyfriend or not. But caring for a child all by yourself for most of the day? That’s got to be overwhelming. I don’t think people give SAHMs the credit they deserve, raising a kid full time is a very emotionally draining job. And then the man ‘forces himself on you’/raped you. It’s unacceptable. Leave him, not just for you but for your child. A man who doesn’t respect boundaries of his partner most likely won’t respect the boundaries of his child.
No. No. Absolutely not! That’s not a partner. That’s a predator. You just experienced a traumatic event (birth) are still getting a handle on things with the baby while balancing household responsibilities. The MINUTE he forced himself on you is the minute you need to be walking out the door. Reach out to family and friends, grab your important documents, and plan your escape now.
NTA.
Please talk to a women’s abuse line. You are in a state right now where you can’t see how disgustingly abusive this is.
No one wants to leave their baby with just anyone. However, working at a daycare with your baby is better than being completely at his mercy. This guy is abusing you.
NTA. Not only is he a whiny pest, he’s a rapist. Is there any place you can escape to?
Please pack your bags, take your baby and go to your parents.
He’s a great provider but can’t provide your own home? Uh no. He’s a rapist piece of garbage. And just because you’re a SAHM doesn’t mean you have to do everything, he’s still a parent and should still be helping you both out too.
So the BF is a rapist.
He forces you to have sex.
He pesters you for a blow job constantly.
No help with the baby, overtired, etc. You say you both have no family there but live with his parents. And they don’t help…wtf?
He is a sick, gross, rapey pig. Self centered and putrid.
You sound trapped and need to find a way out, pronto. Do you have a place you can go? Move back to your parents or another family member?
I’s so sorry that you’re experiencing these. NTA! You have a clear grounds for leaving him
How the fuck are we here? “Help Reddit, my boyfriend is a great provider and a good father but I deny him sex when I’m not feeling it and he rapes me. AITAH?”
FFS, leave. Otherwise, we got nothing for you.
Firstly, you should tell him how you feel and WHY you keep turning down his advances. Secondly, WHY did you not leave him when he forced himself on you. If he did it once he’ll do it again, that is not the kind of man you want to share your life with. He deserves to be alone FOREVER.
I was going to suggest getting him a toy if some kind right up until I read the rape. What he needs is a castration. And im also not usually on the leave them trian but im calling for an “All aboard for the child support train departing for low contactville.” As a father with a 2yr old i would have never had a thought of doing some shit like that to my wife and she was also a stay at home mother for the first year and a half. I got injured then shortly after fired from my job, now im the stay at home parent and it is stressful very stressful. Kids are a full time job on top of house and lawn chores. And the lack of adult interaction can be very draining and make you feel isolated. If you are able I would recommend going out to parks just to get out the house for a little bit To maybe run into other parents or join a local parent group of some kind. They can have a fair share of drama like most groups but you can also make some new friends for yourself and maybe even some for your child they can grow up with.
HE RAPED YOU. Nta & start looking into resources to get out of there, ASAP.
Girl run! That relationship is toxic and abusive. He’s clearly only thinking about himself and the fact that he dared to force himself on you, just proves that doesn’t care about anyone but him!
Divorce, and file rape charges please 🙏
I’m sorry, he raped you? Are you ok?
Ask him why he’d want a blowjob from someone who doesn’t want to give one? Ask him if he knows sexual coercion (guilt tripping and getting angry) is abuse? Ask him to take over baby duties for a whole week (you could pump perhaps) and then see how sexy he’s feeling afterwards. Your boyfriend is a childish dick, sorry you have a baby with him, I hope he doesn’t see this as a valid reason to cheat. NTA
He raped you? Forcing is rape. If you said NO its rape. Maybe you should go to your family’s home with baby and move on. He did this once and he may do so again. And maybe report him for this.
OP, you buried the lede there where your husband raped you already and you haven’t left him or pressed charges.
You’re only TA if you don’t leave him NOW.
So… you can move with your family and not have to deal with a dude that rapes you and is coercive.
A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. You knew who you bred with.
You need to leave him.he raped you.you means no .no matter what.him pressuring is even more reason to leave
That man r*ped you. Leave him.
Rape within a marriage is still rape.
And a crime in any civilized country.
NTA.
Sorry this happened to you. I hope it gets better for you. You may have to think about leaving though if it doesn’t.
You could never be TAH for this.
He raped you once sweetheart, he will do it again.
PLEASE find a way to leave.
Find a woman’s shelter if you can, I know it’s not ideal but you can’t continue to live like this.
You are his slave.
He is beyond being an AH, he’s a C U N T.
Your “boyfriend” RAPED you, when it might have caused you physical damage, possibly did, and you’re asking if YTA for not giving him blowjobs on demand?
Getting angry at you when you don’t is already abuse. You need to go home to your parents, obviously without him, or a domestic abuse shelter. TODAY.
No wonder you feel disrespected. He doesn’t even treat you like person.
YTA if you let your kid stay in this household for another minute.
So he raped you and you’re asking us if you’re the AH here?
NTA, but why are you even still there after he raped you?
Take your baby and go back home, NOW.
Maybe someone should have explained the logical way that families are made. You date for a couple years or more, then you might move into together, then get married and have your OWN place to live, THEN you think about procreating.
Since it’s too late to put that horse back in the barn, you need to leave this as situation immediately. He is a rapist and an immature brat who would rather live with mommy and daddy than with you and his child.
YTA for breeding with this dipshit. Enjoy co parenting with a selfish pig the rest of your life.
SMH
You should go home and take the baby with you. Get help
He moved you into his parents house for more control.
He raped you when you were recovering from childbirth.
He is a abusive man.
Where is your family, can you go and stay with them? You need to find a way out.
NTA. What do you mean he forced himself on you?! If he did stuff without your consent, that’s rape. I appreciate that it’s very complicated with a baby, but really consider if you want to stay with someone like that. Can you even trust him anymore?
lorena bobbitt him. it’s the only sensible solution.
“After I gave birth, I told him I didn’t want any sexual activity until the baby was at least 6 months old. But when the baby was just 2 months, he forced himself on me even though I said I didn’t want to. He still went through with it.”.
Honey I’m saying this with everything in me RUN fast don’t walk RUN for the hills and don’t look back!!!! Take your son with you, if you can I’d say go life with some family for the time being. That is sexual assault/rape. This is that blaring neon red flag that people talk about. I understand he’s a good provider and father but that doesn’t mean anything if he’s not a good partner. You’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, and need help and he’s from what I’ve read offered none. Tell him you’re gonna go visit family while he’s at work, pick a bag for you and baby, and stay with them. He can be a good father to baby from a distance.
Girl no