AITAH for telling my uncle his children can’t attend my daughters birthday party?

So, my(27F) daughter turns 7 in a few months and I have started to plan a backyard party. 1 problem. We live in Texas and it will be pretty hot on the day of her party, our house is too small to host even a small party so we have started the process of booking rentals for chairs and tables, planning the cake, bought the tents, decorations, bluetooth speakers to play music, and the food.

My daughter doesnt want my cousins there F(16) and M(13).

My daughter is extremely worried they will throw a tantrum at her party (like every single family gathering before this) and ruin her party.

F(16) has mental health issues. She struggles with depression and while on live stream, her friends have called the police because she was saying some very concerning things on there which led her to be held on a psych hold at the hospital. My uncle tried to use this as a “learning opportunity”. To which I told him that going to a mental hospital is not a punishment. You go to a regular hospital for broken bones and needing stitches, right? Mental hospitals are a place you go when you feel mentally unable to care for yourself in a way that is appropriate. My cousin would often send me photos of her crying and send cryptic messages saying “Im done” and then refuse to respond for 2 hours and then message back and say “sorry I took a nap”. She also has these extreme meltdowns, that she has had at every single gathering Ive been to (Our other cousins birthday F(8)), Easter, Christmas, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween. It always ends with her screaming and yelling and stomping (yes, stomping her feet) over something that that isnt an appropriate reaction. She complains about everything, including food, the heat or cold, having to walk, etc. She would 100% throw a tantrum at this party because it would be a bit warm.

M(13) was recently diagnosed with autism, but makes rude comments to my daughter, calls her ugly (She is definitely not ugly, she is actually really beautiful, total strangers have come up to me to tell me she is an absolutely gorgeous girl) and tries to sabotage her birthday in some way. He recently made a comment to my daughter that made my blood run cold, and my hair stand straight up on my arms, chills going down my back, and my whole body freezes.

He said, “Have you ever seen a weewee”

My uncle yelled at him to get out of the living room and to go to his room. M(13) was very confused and kept saying it was “just a joke” and my uncle continued to yell at him and while he was walking away my daughter said “Bro, you said that to a minor”. Which, I’m glad she got the quick wit from my grandmother, but that comment wants me to make sure he never has any opportunity to be alone with her. He is also just extremely rude. But I know the real reason my uncle sent him away. My husband(35M) was about to snap and go after him. But my uncle made M(13) leave before my husband was able to fully process that question. M(13) also complains a lot and stomps his feet at every gathering (Yes, physically stomping)

So my daughter doesn’t want them at her party. And I let my uncle know

He told me that since my daughter doesn’t want his children at her party, then apparently she doesnt want him at her party either and he refuses to exclude his children from the party but that he wouldn’t try to push back on this decision. I just said that i fully understand and that’s where we left it.

I have tried telling my uncle they need help. He shrugs and says theyre fine, that F(16) was doing fine, and 2 days later she shaved off her eyebrows and dyed her hair with black box dye 6 days after going to a salon and getting a professional dye and cut and was getting 4 hours of sleep max. I have said not to use me as the standard for mental health. Im schizophrenic and have been on heavy duty antipsychotics since i was 11. No one should have to get as bad off as me in order to receive help. My mother has been trying to hammer it in his head that his children need more than seeing a therapist once a month when his daughter is getting hauled to the county hospital to be put on a psych hold for telling people she was going to kill herself on live stream. They ignore it. They say theyre fine.

But now I feel like a jerk, my uncle had a hand in raising me (although he was barely 19 when I was born). He took me to sports games (Hockey, Basketball) and he would take me to get ice cream every friday after school when I was in 2nd grade. We would get slushies during the summer and I was a flower girl in his wedding. I remember taking my cousins to my room when M was just a newborn and F was 4 years old and holding M while I put Headphones over F’s ears while she played games on my laptop while My uncle and his wife screamed at eachother and yelling nasty vile things to eachother. I feel some kind of responsibility towards them. Like I owe them. But I feel like he has raised his kids the way he has decided to raise them and I have to raise mine knowing I will respect her boundaries.

The rest of the family says NTA because some have said things like

“he can’t possibly be surprised that no one would want to be around his kids when they act like that”

But a piece of me feels like I should accept family in all ways they are, but I am trying to teach myself to not give in and just say no.

So, AITAH?